My Nutrisystem Journey

"Self-acceptance comes from meeting life's challenges vigorously. Don't numb yourself to your trials and difficulties, nor build mental walls to exclude pain from your life. You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory."     ~ J. Donald Walters ~ I could have used this quote a few years back ! I did all of the things it tells you not to. I numbed myself. I built staggering mental walls. I tried to escape or ignore my problems. I lived in denial. There was no peace to be had. The thing is, it's not something you do deliberately. It sort of happens over time as you're less and less able to cope with the direction your life has taken. So, as I've said before, all these "feel good" quotes are great when you've already come through the storm and righted your ship. When you're fighting to hold on you'd probably lose your mind if someo...

"Change is situational. Transition, on the other hand, is psychological. It is not those events, but rather the inner reorientation or self-redefinition that you have to go through in order to incorporate any of those changes into your life. Without a transition, a change is just a rearrangement of the furniture. Unless transition happens, the change won't work, because it doesn't 'take'."     ~ William Bridges ~ I never really thought about change and transition in different ways and this quote showed me there really is a difference. Change is often forced on us (as in the change with my job) and transition is really about accepting a change and making it work for you. I've been fortunate, my job isn't changing much and the changes actually benefit me more than anything. However, back on January 7 life was not quite so certain and the thought of change was frightening. There were sleepless nights, a scramble to look for other opportunities in the...

"Attitude is far more important than what happened in your past or what will be your future. Being who you are is what matters, not what you've done or will do." Life is not without it's challenges. This morning as I was driving to work the tire pressure system let me know one tire was down to 20 psi and should be 32. I stopped and looked at the tire and it looked fine, so I continued on to work. There was no way I was going to even try putting air in at that hour. I had to just hope the tire didn't go flat while I was at work. Naturally this had to happen today, since I had someone coming to give me an estimate on the driveway! The tire was at 22 psi when I left work, which is what it was when I got there, so I think the hot and humid day might have helped. Made it home through one heck of a couple of downpours, got the estimate, fixed the tire. Instead of melting down and feeling sorry for myself I prepared for the worst and had a plan in place. I have cov...

"The difference between who you are and who you want to be is how far you run, how high you jump, and how much harder you go when you want to quit. It's your difference. Make it happen! This is the perfect quote for me because I still struggle with pushing myself to exercise. I often find myself wanting to quit when I'm actually on the treadmill. I've done that on a couple of occasions and when I think back, some of the reasons for giving up were just excuses. So I still need to work on going harder when I want to quit. I've done well but there is always room for improvement and exercise absolutely needs to become and remain a top priority if I want to maintain my weight loss. I have no real excuse for not exercising yesterday. I could have done so before I went out since I didn't leave the house until 3:30 pm. I was home by 8:30 so I certainly could have exercised last night too. I just didn't want to. I suppose expecting to exercise every single day ...

"There's no denying it. It's a great feeling when others believe in you. But today, I want to encourage you to believe in yourself, no matter what! Always believe in yourself, wholeheartedly. No matter what people may say or think, if YOU believe in your capabilities to do something, DO IT. Allow your passion to motivate you every step of your journey. Allow your passion to give you strength when doubt tries to set in. Stay true to yourself and do it how YOU see it ! And remember: It's okay to be different! Be uniquely YOU.   ~ Stephanie Lahart ~ A long quote today but it was perfect for this day. It does feel good when other people believe in you but I've found that being able to actually believe in myself feels even better. Although I have shared this journey from the very beginning I really didn't know what level of support I might receive. My success wasn't dependent on anyone other than me, but every kind word over the past 205 days has meant the ...

"You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness." ~ Brene Brown ~ This quote isn't exactly the topic I had in mind today but I kept going back to it as I scrolled through many other inspirational quotes. I'm a big proponent of ownership. Too often I encounter the "not me" mentality and it can be pretty irritating. When it comes to my own life I own every single bit of it, the good and the bad. I may have been powerless to step away from an abusive marriage but I can admit I wasn't perfect either. I may have been powerless to keep my weight from ballooning but I can admit I am responsible for everything I ate and my lack of exercise. I do walk inside my story and I do own it. Each of us has a unique story to tell and despite the horrors of mine I know it's not the worst. I feel fortunate every day to still be here and to be happy and healthy. I'm finding my worth every day - there...

"Give yourself another day, another chance. You will find your courage eventually. Don't give up on yourself just yet." Although my Nutrisystem journey has been easier than I expected it to be, I can't say it hasn't had its challenges. There are days I want to just chuck it all and eat whatever I want. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have those urges. The good thing is I haven't acted on them ! Reminders of the things I used to enjoy eating are everywhere and I certainly don't expect those around me to alter their eating habits just because I have altered mine. I fully expect people to order whatever they want in a restaurant or to eat whatever they want at an event. I can certainly eat anything I want provided the portion is appropriate but I haven't yet reached a point where I feel completely comfortable with that. Life after Nutrisystem will require that I am comfortable eating "real" food in appropriate portions, so I have to...

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results."  ~Kenneth Blanchard~ This quote is perfect for tonight because I'm still not to a point where I accept no excuses. I didn't get my workout done because just a few minutes in I was experiencing pain in my left foot. I thought maybe my sock was caught on a nail and I tried wiggling my toes around to walk it off. That didn't work so I finally paused the treadmill and took my shoe off ... to find a bloody sock and toe. I have no idea what I did because I swear the foot was fine when I put on my socks and shoes. It appears I somehow pulled the nail up. I could have bandaged it up and got back on the treadmill but it was getting late and I was frustrated. I got home late tonight because I had to stop and buy gas. Then I got distracted watching ...

"Every second brings a fresh beginning, Every hour holds a new promise, Every night our dreams can bring hope and Every day is what you choose to make it." After a restless night this is the perfect quote for the day. I dreamed a lot last night and didn't feel very rested when the alarm went off. I dreamed that I ate a huge donut stuffed with cream and slathered with chocolate ! I think I ate something else too but I can't remember what it was. Then I was upset when the scale didn't show any weight loss. Well, duh ! No idea what planted that little seed in my subconscious mind ! When the alarm went off it took me a minute to orient myself and realize it was only a dream. Such a weird feeling ! That 80 ounces of water I drank also woke me up, so that didn't help. Last nights dream didn't bring hope but I was glad it was only a dream ! I do believe every day is a new opportunity and it truly is what you choose to make it. When I dragged myself out of be...

"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." A short and succinct quote for today, the 200th day of this Nutrisystem journey. When I saw this quote I immediately thought of the medical professional who told me that "at my age" losing weight would be difficult. That was at least 6 years ago and I've never forgotten it. I wonder what she'd think if she knew I've lost nearly 80 pounds in the past 200 days, considering I'm even older now. I also wonder how many other people she discouraged with those careless words. I'm sure she thought she was being helpful and had no malicious intent but I wonder what she would think if she knew how damaging that comment was. Some people might have taken her words as a challenge and got right to work trying to lose weight, to prove her wrong. At the time I was just trying to survive, so I went the other way. I was pretty fragile so it didn't take much to discourage me. Maybe I jus...

I choose ... to live by choice, not by chance. To make changes, not excuses. To be motivated, not manipulated. To be useful, not used. To excel, not compete. I choose self-esteem, not self pity. I choose to listen to my inner voice, not the random opinions of others." This quote kind of goes along with yesterday's thought about not being a leader or a follower. I've made plenty of bad decisions over the years but I've finally reached a point where I'm content with my life, who I am and what I'm doing. It's amazing how the mind and body can adapt to changing conditions. The dark place I was in before the fire seems like such a distant memory and it was only 2 years ago. When it comes to Nutrisystem, my feelings are similar. Every day the way I'm eating becomes more of a habit and lifestyle, and I don't see it as being "on a diet". The sugar cravings I used to have are long gone, although I do enjoy having a pastry for breakfast an...

"Understand: you are one of a kind. Your character traits are a kind of chemical mix that will never be repeated in history. There are ideas unique to you, a specific rhythm and perspective that are your strengths, not your weaknesses. You must not be afraid of your uniqueness." ~Robert Greene~ I'm pretty sure I'm unique and I'm not afraid of that. There was a time I wanted and tried to be like everyone else, but that never seemed to work out. I was not born to be a follower or a leader, perhaps that is what makes me unique. I'm just me and I go along through life doing what works for me. As you know some of those things were ill advised, but perhaps I was led along those paths to build strength that would be needed later. Life is definitely a journey with many twists and turns and you never really know what is up ahead. We can plan all we want but life is still going to throw you a curve ball every now and then, just to keep you on your toes ! My life ha...

"Whatever is happening in your life, don't pre-occupy yourself with the question Why? But rather ponder more on to Where these events will be bringing you. Know you are being led to somewhere beautiful, beyond your present harsh reality. Once you get to the Where, then you'll know the Why. Trust the process." Considering the current upheaval in my professional life, these are words I want to believe. Long term workers are no longer valued in corporate America. It's all about who or what is cheapest. I'd like to believe I can keep my job until I'm ready to retire but nothing is for sure anymore, so I'll just keeping doing what I've been doing, while preparing for the worst. I am more fortunate than many because I have a good pension and a healthy 401k waiting for me. No matter how difficult things were I never stopped contributing to my 401k because I knew some day I would really need that money. I look back on my life and think about all the t...