Day 208: Change vs. Transition

"Change is situational. Transition, on the other hand, is psychological. It is not those events, but rather the inner reorientation or self-redefinition that you have to go through in order to incorporate any of those changes into your life. Without a transition, a change is just a rearrangement of the furniture. Unless transition happens, the change won't work, because it doesn't 'take'."     ~William Bridges~

I never really thought about change and transition in different ways and this quote showed me there really is a difference. Change is often forced on us (as in the change with my job) and transition is really about accepting a change and making it work for you. I've been fortunate, my job isn't changing much and the changes actually benefit me more than anything. However, back on January 7 life was not quite so certain and the thought of change was frightening. There were sleepless nights, a scramble to look for other opportunities in the company and weeks of uncertainty before I knew I had survived the cut. Once this change was forced on me it was up to me to make the transition. Part of that was an honest career discussion. Part of that was evaluating my financial fitness and taking steps to improve it. Part of that was settling back into the job I've been doing and continuing to give it 110%. None of this happened overnight and the transition is ongoing. Nutrisystem is a transition too. I had to be psychologically ready to give up my love affair with food and get the weight off. Same goes for exercise. That is an ongoing battle because I quite honestly don't really enjoy it. I'd rather do anything other than exercise but I know it's a necessary part of this major life transition. I'm also transitioning into a new body and as silly as it may sound a body with 80+ fewer pounds feels and looks a whole lot different. Feeling collarbones and hip bones and even my sternum is new ! For a long time I still saw the much larger me in the mirror. Today I can see the new me, though I still take that with a grain of salt. It's not easy to erase all those years of body negativity. The new body will be a work in progress for some time and I doubt I'll ever be 100% happy with it ... but then, who is ever 100% happy with their body ? As it is, I'm happier where I am and that's all that matters. Transition is absolutely psychological. Those awful Christmas pictures were the situation that forced this change. How could I look at those pictures and think what I was seeing was okay ? I couldn't .. so my mind accepted that change was needed and there began the transition. Clicking the "submit" button on the Nutrisystem website sealed the deal that fateful day. There was no going back. So the change is here and the transition is happening. That is all I can ask for.

Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 180 calorie cinnamon roll with caramel vanilla cream coffee. Second cup was hazelnut. After several days of savory breakfasts I truly enjoyed having a warm cinnamon roll again ! Morning snack was a 155 calorie chocolate shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 3.8 ounce 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt with raw carrots. Afternoon snack was 1/2 cup of cottage cheese (80 calories) and a snack cup of mandarin oranges (80 calories). This left 485 calories for dinner and an evening snack. Dinner was a much needed comfort food - a 9.5 ounce 260 calorie roasted turkey medallions with mashed potatoes and gravy. I also had a chef salad. Evening snack was a 1.9 ounce 120 calorie tiramisu. Total calories for the day are 1110 (I added 15 for the salad dressing) and I've had about 60 ounces of water. I'm working on getting the other 24 in before I go to bed.

I went to bed with a headache last night and still had it when I got up at some point early this morning. However, by the time the alarm went off at 5:30 it was gone and I felt fine. I think it was nothing more than a little stress, a little too much water in a short period of time and the heat. Tire pressure didn't change overnight so I was happy about that .. but when I left work I had lost 13 psi so I knew a flat repair was needed. I also needed gas so after a stop at Delta Sonic I stepped into the Walmart abyss. They fixed the tire while I wandered around the store for an hour buying things I didn't really need. The tire repair was $10.80 ... but I spent almost $80 more on "stuff" .. lol ! I bought a bunch of cat treats that were on special along with a few cans of Blue Buffalo cat food. It's more expensive than Friskies but I am throwing the Friskies away twice a day because they don't eat much of it. If they like the BB better I'd rather buy that for them. If they don't like that I'm going to go to a pet store and get some small cans of some other brands. I tried Fancy Feast and they didn't really like that either. I even bought them new bowls to see if that was part of the problem. It didn't help so we'll see if the new food does anything for them. I also picked up a new coffee flavor ! Gloria Jean's Butter Toffee !  It's sounds sooooo delicious ! I threw 2 k-cups in my purse so I can give it a try tomorrow morning.

There was no exercise tonight because I didn't get home until after 7:30. By the time I fed the cats and fed myself it was after 8. Getting home late is about the only excuse I'll allow myself. I did do a whole lot of laps around Walmart so it's not like I sat in a chair waiting. Store security was probably tracking me through the store since I was all over the place for so long ! I'm glad to have the tire issue resolved so I don't have to worry about it anymore. Next up is a long overdue oil change. I'm going to try and get that done this weekend. 

This was another crazy weather day. It was hot and humid in Syracuse (92 by 1 pm) but a line of thunderstorms rolled in shortly after 1 pm. It was fast and furious and rain was gone by 2 pm and temps dropped to 75 ! We had several more showers but by the time I left work at 5 it was hot and humid again. It was thundering when I left Walmart in Cicero and I ran into some light rain on the way home. From the looks of the radar there are no more storms headed my way so it looks to be a quite night. Although I didn't exercise I'm a bit tired so I hope to get a good nights sleep ! 

Right now I'm watching a little "Close Encounters" on TCM. Hard to believe this movie is 42 years old !!! Next up is a shower and my comfy bed.