Day 203: Another Day

"Give yourself another day, another chance. You will find your courage eventually. Don't give up on yourself just yet."

Although my Nutrisystem journey has been easier than I expected it to be, I can't say it hasn't had its challenges. There are days I want to just chuck it all and eat whatever I want. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have those urges. The good thing is I haven't acted on them ! Reminders of the things I used to enjoy eating are everywhere and I certainly don't expect those around me to alter their eating habits just because I have altered mine. I fully expect people to order whatever they want in a restaurant or to eat whatever they want at an event. I can certainly eat anything I want provided the portion is appropriate but I haven't yet reached a point where I feel completely comfortable with that. Life after Nutrisystem will require that I am comfortable eating "real" food in appropriate portions, so I have to learn it eventually. I've been pretty successful with restaurant eating but most of the time I have no concept of the calories I'm consuming and that's a little scary. On some occasions I've eaten more than I intended to but it hasn't impacted my ability to lose weight each week. That is a little scary too because I don't want to start thinking I can overindulge and not pay a price at some point. I've said this before .. one splurge can become two and two can become three and before you know it you're out of control. I suppose the fact that I even think about that and about calories is a start ! Exercise is another tough one. There are just some days that exercise is not in the cards and I have to find a way to accept that. The problem is I don't have enough confidence in my ability to stay consistent when it comes to exercise, so I put a lot of pressure on myself about it. It's still new even after all this time. I've also said you can't change a lifetime of habits overnight. I do give myself credit for what I have achieved but I still have to push myself. When I look back at yesterday the whole day just seemed out of whack. Although I was at work at my normal time of 7 am I left at 5 feeling like I didn't accomplish anything. That's mostly because everything I touched was a royal disaster that required a lot of time and effort to unravel. Then I had to stop for gas so that got me home later than usual. Apparently half of Onondaga County needed gas last night and they were ALL at Delta Sonic ! It was nearly 7 pm by the time I had taken care of the cats and had dinner and I know from past experience exercising on a full stomach is not fun. Then the treadmill and Ifit were fighting and I had to mediate that dispute. I also contributed to the delay .. watching the rabbits outside. Then once I finally got the treadmill going my toe issue arose. That was really the straw that broke this camel's back. Pun intended - it was Hump Day ! How many more signs did I need ? Today is another day and I fully expected to be back on the treadmill tonight - but I've also learned some things. I can cook veggies in advance and just reheat them. That will save time. I can also rinse out my lunch containers while I'm at work, rather than bringing them home dirty. A couple of small tweaks to my routine will be a big help for the next 5 weeks. After that I'll be on vacation for a week and then working from home a few days a week. Working from home will be a huge bonus because I don't have to get up quite so early, I won't have to run out of the house at 6:15 am and I don't have to pack all my food for the day. I'll also be "home" from work at 5 instead of 6. So I'm definitely not giving up on myself yet. I'm an imperfect work in progress and I suspect this will always be the case. The difference I see in myself now is I can take the time to think about things, come up with a solution and take action. The old me procrastinated so much that I never accomplished anything and always felt overwhelmed.

Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 180 calorie cinnamon roll with French vanilla coffee. Second cup was triple chocolate. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 3.8 ounce 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt with raw carrots. Afternoon snack was 3/4 cup of yogurt (90 calories) and a 0.65 ounce 100 calorie bag of Skinny Pop popcorn. This left 455 calories for dinner and an evening snack. Dinner was a 5 ounce 210 calorie broccoli and cheese stuffed chicken breast. I cooked some brussel sprouts to have with it but they didn't look or taste right so I threw them away. They were yellow like an overripe vegetable would be. Evening snack was a 1.8 ounce 150 calorie chocolate cupcake. Total calories for the day are 1105. I got about 80 ounces of water in today.

While my dinner was cooking last night I took a few minutes to reorganize the Nutrisystem foods in the freezer. I have about 10 of the stuffed chicken breasts hanging around from prior shipments so I'll be eating those until they're gone. I skip over them all the time so they're clearly not a favorite and I've removed them from my next order. I may add them back somewhere down the road because they are a good low calorie entrée. I also found I have a lot of the grilled chicken sandwiches, which are a lunch item. I don't bring those to work because I prefer to toast the bun and cook the chicken separately ... plus I like to dress it with fresh lettuce and buffalo wing sauce ! So I need to start eating them on the weekends and use them up. My next order was going to ship 7 more of them but I reduced that to 2 for now. The melts are just easier to cook at work. I also still have some non-frozen items to use up for all meals. My next shipment won't process until 8-8 so by the time that is delivered I'll have freed up a lot of space in my freezer. I have 5 months worth of shake mix coming too but I have plenty of room in the pantry to store stuff like that. I got 40% off on that during a rare sale so I took full advantage of the price break !

Over time I've learned that Nutrisytem is pretty effortless but you do need to put in some time to make the program work best for you. You have to try the foods and decide what you like. You can't rely on other peoples opinions, because we all have different tastes. You also have to figure out what Power Fuel's and Smart Carb's work best for you. Some people consume a lot of eggs or meats to meet their Power Fuel requirements. I prefer to use things like yogurt, cheese, peanut butter or cottage cheese for that. Some people consume a lot of fruit for their Smart Carb but I prefer things like popcorn, bread, crackers or granola. Even before Nutrisystem I wasn't one to eat a lot of fruit and I feel like fruit stirs up my old friend Sugar Cravings. I'll admit I floundered a little at first but I put in the time and effort to figure things out and customize the plan to work for me. Since I'm approaching 80 pounds gone I guess I'm doing all right ! Nutrisystem is the framework I needed to get started with losing weight and I've been building on it ever since.

Today was another beautiful summer day. It was chilly again last night (56 when I left for work) but since it was 81 degrees in my bedroom at bedtime I did need the air conditioning. Once the air cooled down I don't think the compressor had to do much work to generate cold air. I ended up turning it off at some point during the night because I was freezing. I was able to get my workout in with no hiccups tonight ! I didn't look out the window for bunnies but I did take the time to examine my toes a little more closely and realized a sharp nail is the reason I ended up with a toe injury. So I gave myself a mini pedicure, wrapped the toe and had no problem getting through the entire workout. Toe is fine today but I didn't want to take any chances. It really felt good to be back on track !

I'm glad tomorrow is Friday. I'm looking forward to sleeping in Saturday morning ! I'm going out for dinner with one of my nieces, my younger sister and my brother's girlfriend. We're going out to Skaneateles to Rosalie's Cucina, which is someplace I've never been. Bill Clinton and Joe Biden have been there so they must be Democrats. 😜 It looks pretty fancy (and expensive) so I hope I don't feel out of place. I don't really care about the prices as long as the food is good. And really, if anyone wants to look down their nose at me .... F  'em !

On that note, it's about time to close the windows and head upstairs for a warm shower and my comfy bed. I am a bit tired tonight.