My Nutrisystem Journey

" I choose to feel good about myself each day. Every morning I remind myself that I can make the choice to feel good. This is a new habit for me to cultivate." ~Louise Hay~ When you spent so much time worrying about everyone else, it's a new experience when you focus on caring for yourself first. When you start caring for yourself it's easier to feel good about yourself. Losing the weight is doing that for me. It's not just about liking the way I look, it's also about liking the way I feel. Every day that goes by I spend less time thinking about the past because I have so many more positive things to think about. The good memories are replacing the bad memories. I'm content with simple things such as dinner with my mom on this special day. That's enough. It's not about gifts or cake or parties. I thought those things would replace the emptiness I felt but I know now that it wouldn't have made a difference. Nutrisystem has really helped ...

A lot of people resist transition and therefore never allow themselves to enjoy who they are. Embrace the change, no matter what it is. Once you do, you can learn about the new world you're in and take advantage of it."  ~Nikki Giovanni~ Today was a big day of change and transition. Today I walked out of the office I've called home for 27 or 28 years, for the last time. I've been with AT&T for over 34 years and before we moved to 250 S Clinton we were at 1 Park Place on State St. I can't remember exactly when we moved, but 250 S Clinton was completed in 1991 and we moved in when the building was still new. My office was nothing special but it was my space and I brought a lot of good memories home with me today. For many years it was the only place I felt safe. I'm blessed to be able to continue in my job, working from home 3 days a week and commuting to a shared space the other 2. I knew 2019 was going to be a year of change but until January 7, w...

 "You will never always be motivated, so you must learn to be disciplined." Truer words have never been spoken ! Some days it is so hard to peel myself off the couch and get on the treadmill. Over the past 8 months I've gained a lot of respect for people who've exercised every day for years and years. I know I'm doing a lot better when it comes to exercise but I can't say I look forward to it. Honestly, I don't know how to change my mindset. It's not like there is a switch you can flip to suddenly crave exercise. In the absence of that I have no choice but to use discipline to keep the exercise going. I haven't quite mastered that either, as I still sometimes give up too easily if the conditions aren't perfect. I'm doing better, considering I didn't let my heel become an excuse. It's taken 5 days but it is healing nicely and I actually left it un-bandaged after my shower last night. Keeping it covered and applying antibioti...

"Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there's no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most, and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic." ~Laini Taylor~ There are those who would disagree hope is a powerful force. They say hope isn't a plan. Hope isn't a strategy. But you know, if you don't have hope, what do you have ? What do you do if your "plan" or "strategy" doesn't work out ? Failure is failure, whether you had hope, a plan or a strategy. Maybe hope gives you an easier out, but I think we all have different ways of working toward our goals. Me, I "hope" to lose enough weight to attain a "normal" BMI. This is a tall order, but just because I say "I hope" doesn't mean I don't have a plan or a strategy, because I do ! The fact that is, I'm heading into unknown territory because my BMI hasn't been normal for probably 30 years...

"Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome." I think staying motivated is the hardest part of trying to lose weight and become more fit. Let's face it, I just do not like exercising. I'd rather spend that time doing anything else. Same goes for "dieting". I'd rather just eat whatever I want, when I want. Unfortunately, not exercising and eating whatever I want made me one unhealthy and unhappy person so I had to make a choice. In all honesty, before 12-25-18 I thought I was happy. I had moved back into my home and I loved everything about it. Life was good ! Seeing the photos of myself from Christmas shattered that illusion. Yeah, I was so happy I was eating myself to death. Today I can look back and realize I was headed right back down the same road. The road that led to unhappiness and depre...

"It's a new day, fresh start, fresh energy, new opportunities. Get your mind right, be thankful, be positive and start your day right." This is exactly how I felt when I woke up this morning. Saturday was a necessary day of rest. Truth is, I enjoyed the trip to the Fair, I enjoyed relaxing all day Saturday and I enjoyed being out with my mom yesterday. I've said before that my goal to exercise every single day is unrealistic, but I guess I still aspire to do that and it bothers me when I don't. That's an example of pressure I put on myself. Last night the thought of not using the treadmill while I wait for my heel to get better made me a little panicky. I know myself too well and I didn't want to lose the momentum I have, so I improvised by cutting the back off one sneaker. That may seem a bit drastic and perhaps wasteful but the shoes are old and were a very cheap Walmart buy. I have a brand new pair with more support so I'll start wearing thos...

"Sometimes we miss a workout or eat something that isn't ideal, but if you had a flat tire on your car, would you get out and puncture the other three ? Of course not ! If you slip, shake it off and do better the next day."  ~Jillian Michaels~ I might have used this quote before, but today was that next day for me .. again ! So today my mission was to shake it off and do better. Well, waking up at 10 am didn't really say "motivation" to me ! I went to bed after midnight so when I woke up the first time at 7 am I wasn't really ready to give up the warmth of my bed. For one thing, it was cold this morning ! 65 degrees in my bedroom when I finally got up at 10 ! It's only August 25th and I'm already thinking about turning the heat on ! Instead of continuing to wring my hands over missing my workout 2 days in a row and pretty much just sitting on the couch all day yesterday, I was looking ahead and I was confident I would be back on track tod...

"I've seen better days, but I've also seen worse. I don't have everything that I want, but I do have all I need. I woke up with some aches and pains, but I woke up. My life may not be perfect, but I am blessed."  I hesitated to get out of bed this morning, afraid I would be getting up to a mass of aching bones and joints. I woke up around 8 but didn't get up until some time after 9. I was surprised to not have any real pain, just a little stiffness ! As I said last night, I would never have been able to get through such a long day at the Fair 91 pounds ago. The morning after wouldn't have been pleasant either. I can remember getting out of bed and wanting to cry because my feet and back hurt so bad. I'd have spent today sitting on the couch popping Tylenol and eating all the junk I brought home. Today I had no junk to consume but I did stay home on the couch. It was cool and cloudy - only 66 degrees, so I had no desire to be outside ! I'm a...

"The real value of setting goals is not the recognition or reward, it's the person we become by finding the discipline, courage and commitment to achieve them." Today I set a goal to stay within the guidelines of Nutrisystem as much as possible, but still allowed myself a little room for a bit of indulgence. Thing is, I couldn't think of any one thing at the Fair that I felt like I really needed to have. I no longer crave sweets and the thought of eating anything fried turns me right off. So I felt like I was going out the door with the right mindset. The Fair was no longer about the food.  I weighed myself this morning and I lost 2.4 pounds this week ! This brings my total loss to exactly 91 pounds ! I do not plan to get on the scale again until next week ! Breakfast was a 4.4 ounce 180 calorie turkey sausage and egg muffin with butter toffee coffee. Second cup was caramel vanilla cream. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter po...

Photo Credit: Deb Sandidge Remember How ...  Your clothes didn't fit. Your body felt sluggish. Your skin didn't glow. You didn't have energy. You wanted to feel beautiful. You regretted what you ate. You wished you worked out. You wanted to change. ... Before making another unhealthy choice. This quote is perfect for today since I'm off to the Fair and all its temptations tomorrow. In years past all I would think about was what I was going to eat. Today is no different, but today I'm thinking about it differently . In the past I was excited about all the food I'd be eating. I'd have a sausage sandwich or pizza and soda and funnel cakes or pizza fritte. I'd go to Tully's and have chicken tenders or maybe Dinosaur for pulled pork. Then there was the strawberry shortcake concession ! I loved their huge portions ! I'd also bring home fudge, sugar waffles and maybe a big bag of cotton candy. Some years I'd go to the bulk candy tent on t...

"It takes a lot more courage to let something go than it does to hang on to it, trying to make it better. Letting go doesn't mean ignoring a situation. Letting go means accepting what it is, exactly as it is, without fear, resistance, or a struggle for control." ~Iyanla Vanzant~ Today's topic was going to be a rant about passive-aggressive statuses, but I decided to just let all that negativity go. So I did my workout and then came back to my laptop. I checked Yahoo News to see what was going on in the world and happened to see the horoscope section, which was set on the wrong one so I updated it. Then I read today's horoscope for me, because the first 3 words caught my eye.  Here's what it said:  " Bite your tongue if you catch yourself about to dish unsolicited advice. Save the oversharing for another day when your mood is lighter. Your candor may be a bit much for others to handle under these combative skies. Soften your stance and be fl...

Photo Credit:   Lars Leber Photography "Behind you are the challenges you've met. Before you lies new possibilities. Today you choose the direction of your life." When I think back, there are plenty of challenges behind me. Sometimes I wonder exactly how I survived them all. I'd like to think there are just as many new possibilities in front of me. I've definitely chosen to look ahead and focus on the future. The near future will bring change as I transition from my office to working from home and commuting 1-2 days a week to a new location. This is not without anxiety as it means unfamiliar surroundings and people I don't know. The good thing is there will also be people I do know and that will offset some of the anxiety. Hard to believe I will walk out that door for the last time next Friday. I have to believe bigger and better things are ahead and the ability to work from home is a dream come true. When I bought my house I was working from home a ...

My dad loved trains .. this photo is for you Dad. "Don't expect every day to be the best day in your life, but do expect the best from life, every day. Never ever give up, and always stay positive." Staying positive sounds easy but it can be a challenge. I had intended a different topic today but seeing as how this would have been my dad's 80th birthday I wanted to keep things .. positive ! In my eyes my dad was a great man. He worked hard his entire life to provide for his family and cancer stole him away from us in 2012. My life was in chaos when dad passed away so I did not see him much in the weeks leading up to his death. I'll always regret that. Alex was ill at the time and working 40 hours and visiting 2 hospitals was nearly impossible for me. I still had dogs back then and they needed to be let out, so I didn't have much time after work. Needless to say it was a very difficult time for me. My dad was suffering so I was glad to see his pain go...

Love and peace of mind do protect us. They allow us to overcome the problems that life hands us. They teach us to survive ... to live now ... to have the courage to confront each day." ~Bernie Siegel~ Peace of mind is something I didn't have for quite a few years. I didn't have the love that I wanted either. Things have changed now, so I did find that elusive peace of mind and I feel more loved. For a long time I felt like no one cared, but in reality I wasn't willing to let anyone care for me. I had built a pretty thick shell around myself. Much of that shell is gone now but there are still times I want to retreat back into it, so I'm continuing to work on that. I want to always be able to face life head on but it takes time to build up to that level of courage. Losing weight and feeling better about the way I look helps because it's given me a new level of confidence. Yesterday I was looking at some pictures of myself from November and December 2018 a...