My Nutrisystem Journey

“You need to see that life is not always perfect. We will not always get what we want. And though it hurts a lot, what should’ve happened, happened. Who should’ve left, left and whatever’s thrown you off course will always bring you to where it is you need to be.” I’ve always said things happen for a reason. You often don’t know WHY something happened until much later. I believe the changes in my life started when Alex passed away in 2014. That set off a chain of events that have, little by little, made my life easier, for lack of a better word. I lost 3 dogs and 4 cats after Alex. Although I loved my pets they were a lot of work and quite honestly it was too much for me and I couldn’t keep up. Each loss was devastating and I hope they left me because it was their time - not because someone was trying to make my life “easier”. The fire was also a blessing in disguise because all of the work that needed to be done in my home was done via my homeowner’s insurance. Never in a million ...

“Its’s not about perfect. It’s about effort. And when you bring that effort every single day, that’s where transformation happens. That’s how change occurs.” ~Jillian Michaels~ I found a couple versions of this quote but most attribute it to Jillian, so I’ll go with that. She’s so right that it’s not about perfect. In the beginning of this journey I was setting unrealistic goals and expecting perfection from myself. I’ve come to realize that life will interfere with even the tiniest goal and if all your goals leave no room for that you will quickly lose hope and give up. Having unreachable goals is just as bad as having no goals at all. I’m not too worried about reaching specific numbers on the scale as long as it keeps moving in the right direction. Do I want it to happen faster ? Of course - who wouldn’t ? I focus on eating the way the program is teaching me and getting as much exercise as I possibly can. Yes, I’m upset that cold #2 has derailed my treadmill exercise bu...

“The beautiful spring came; and when nature resumes her loveliness, the human soul is apt to revive also.” ~Harriet Ann Jacobs~ Spring really does renew my soul. Winter just drags me to a dark place because it lasts so long and I hate driving in the snow. If I could just stay home all winter I wouldn’t mind the snow at all. I guess they call that retirement ! Although memories of the past sometimes sneak in I am usually able to chase them away and focus on the here and now. I have so much to be grateful for and life is good so there is no point in continuing to wring my hands over the past. I’m looking forward to green grass, leaves on the trees, open windows and summer breezes. I’m also looking forward to locally grown produce, pool days and barbecues ! Change is coming on the professional front but I’ve had enough time to process all of that and I’m ready for the next step, whatever it may be. One month from today I’ll be celebrating 34 years with AT&T. God willing I’ll be he...

“Avoiding your triggers isn’t healing. Healing happens when you’re triggered and you’re able to move through the pain, the pattern, and the story and walk your way to a different ending.” I happened to stumble across this article today, but maybe it was put in front of me for a reason. I was diagnosed with this disorder back in 1996 and it still affects my life today. https://www.learning-mind.com/avoidant-personality-disorder/ EDIT: this article seeks to put the blame for this disorder on extreme criticism and bullying by one’s parents. This was NOT the case in my life - my parents have never been anything but loving and supportive. It doesn’t interfere with my ability to live my life and it’s not as bad today as it was back then, so I’m not actively seeking treatment. I did see a therapist back then and I took anti-depressants for a while and it did help. I’m pretty happy with my life as it is today and I’m not as closed off as I used to be. I think being aware of these ten...

“Life is an untraveled road, It has twists and turns, It has potholes and bumps, If you accelerate too fast while moving ahead, you will miss the scenario besides the road, If you didn’t move ahead you will miss the beautiful experience … Make your journey worth traveling. ~Maitree Tailor~ I’m not sure if this cold is a twist, a turn, a pothole or a bump (all of the above ?) … but I do know it is only a temporary obstacle. I decided to get better before I try to resume my treadmill exercise. It’s pretty frustrating that every time I start making progress something happens. I’ve doubled up on vitamins for a few days to give my immune system a little boost and I have the bottle right next to the couch now so I won’t be forgetting to take them after dinner each night ! With any luck I’ll be back on the treadmill by the weekend with a new goal. iFit released some new workout videos recently so I will take some time to go through the library and see if there is anything I can add ...

“You don’t get rid of yesterday by talking about it all of the time; you get rid of its effect on you by moving forward.” Moving forward is so important. You can’t change what happened in your past but once you process it you have to leave it behind. If you don’t there is no room in your life for all of the new and wonderful things that are out there waiting for you. I dwelled on the past for too long and putting it behind me has been incredibly freeing. I’ve come to realize that moving back into the house was incredibly traumatic and I didn’t expect that. Even though it had been completely redone the memories were still there, so I was forced to deal with them. For a while the house felt strange to me but now it is home again. I don’t want to be defined by the past and I won’t let it hold me back. I don’t want to be the “victim” or the “survivor”. I’m just me now. I am making new memories to look back on. My past is nothing more than a cautionary tale of things NOT to do. I’m happy...

Stop beating yourself up ! You are a work in progress, which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once. Wiser words have never been spoken ! I am an expert at beating myself up – I’ve done it for years ! Since 2019 is a year of change this is one of the things I’m changing. I’ve put much of the past 20 years behind me and my eyes are focused on the road ahead. There’s a difference between keeping yourself accountable and beating yourself up when things don’t go quite as planned. I no longer have a mental list of all the things “I should” have done. It’s been replaced with a list of things I have done and things I will do. I’m still working on setting reasonable goals that have some flexibility. If you’ve been reading these notes then you know I struggled with setting a reasonable exercise goal. Expecting myself to exercise every single day was unreasonable because life is going to get in your way at least once a week and once it does your goal is blown and disappoin...

“When feeling overwhelmed by a far away goal, repeat the following: I have it within me right now, to get me where I want to be later.” ~Karen Salmansohn~ I can relate to this quote because my ultimate goal is quite far away. To keep from being discouraged or overwhelmed I’ve been setting smaller goals as time goes on. My journey to my final goal would be very boring if I was just going from Point A to Point B with nothing to look forward to in between. One of those goals was the exercise component. Losing weight is great but fitness needs to be part of my life as well. So I achieved the exercise goal and my current goal is to gradually increase the intensity of my workouts. I’m taking that slow for a lot of reasons. If I get too ambitious and can’t keep up I’ll get discouraged. I’m also not 20 years old so it’s not going to happen overnight. I’ve abused my body for a long time and undoing the damage will not be easy, so I’m being careful not to...

“Life is all about balance. You don't always need to be getting stuff done. Sometimes it's perfectly okay, and absolutely necessary, to shut down, kick back, and do nothing.” ~Lori Deschene~ Balance is not easy to find ! I’ve finally got some balance in my life and I think that is part of the reason I am so much happier. It’s great to be dedicated to your job but it shouldn’t consume you. It’s great to be dedicated to your family, but that shouldn’t consume you either. If you give your all to either there is nothing left for you ! So while my job is very important to me and I give it my all during the day, I no longer bring work home nor do I think about it outside work hours. My employer actually encourages work/life balance and I applaud them for that. As for my family, they don’t make unreasonable demands on my time so there is no pressure there today. Things were different when Alex was alive. Caring for his needs left no time for my own. Things were also differen...

“When you look in the mirror and see no change, and still keep faith, knowing that in time you will get there if you stay focused and on track, that’s the difference between those who succeed and those who fail.” I don’t know who said this but it’s very true. I see some changes in the mirror but they are subtle and I have to keep reminding myself this is not a sprint and it’s going to take time to get where I want to be. My body decides where it wants to lose the weight first and being a woman, there are plenty of places for it to choose from ! Sometimes I envy the men who only have to worry about losing that beer belly ! I’m not one to spend a lot of time in front of the mirror and it’s probably a good thing because at this point in my journey it wouldn’t be very motivating. Wouldn’t it be nice to have your own “Mirror of Erised” ? For the non-Harry Potter fans that is a mirror which, according to Dumbledore, shows the "deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts." Note ...

“Don’t think about what can happen in a month. Don’t think about what can happen in a year. Just focus on the 24 hours in front of you and do what you can to get closer to where you want to be.” ~unknown~ This is pretty much how I’m handling my weight loss. It’s truly a day to day process and that’s why I write these notes. When I think about where I want to be it is overwhelming because the goal is still pretty far out. When your goal is far away it’s easy to get discouraged if you spend all your time thinking about that. Instead I focus on what I need to achieve today . I need to eat the food, drink the water and get some exercise. When you look at it that way weight loss becomes simple. Once I’ve eaten all the food, drank all the water and had that workout my day is done and I can say “Mission accomplished ! I am one day closer to my goal!”. My goal has no timeline so I don’t know when I will reach it. I expect it will be a year or more before I’m there … so you can see why I n...

“Life has a way of meeting your expectations. If you feel less than, you will settle for a life that’s less than what you really want. Expect the best from yourself: dream, stretch and grow, and watch life rise up and meet your expectations.” ~Catherine L. Taylor~ This is the sad truth for me. I’ve settled so many times in life and I’m determined never to do that again. I know sometimes you have to compromise, but most of the time you have a choice. That choice might be walking away but that could be a good alternative to settling for something that is not in your best interests. I can see now that having a higher opinion of yourself leads to expecting more from yourself and others. The days of letting people walk all over me and putting everyone else’s needs ahead of my own are over. So are the days of feeling like my life was an out of control train wreck. Sometimes I worry that I’ve gone a little too far but in reality I haven’t. I’ve come to understand that I have to tak...

“People have to realize that dieting is not a sprint, it’s a marathon. If you celebrate the small victories, you will eventually win the war.” ~Ian K. Smith~ Ironic to come across this quote today as this is exactly what I’m doing. Considering how much weight I need to lose I knew going in this was going to be a long process, so I needed to focus on the small victories. My goal weight is a good distance away and if I spend all my time focusing on that I think I will get very discouraged. At the same time, I use that goal weight to keep myself on track. I don’t even consider “cheating” because in my mind that just puts the goal farther away. This is why I don’t understand people who have “cheat days”. Why not just stay on track and get it done ? As it is I’m already considering lowering my goal weight by another 10 pounds. Statistics say this would bring my weight into a “normal” BMI range. Rather than making that change now and basically erasing 10 pounds of achievement I decided to...

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." ~Albert Schweitzer~ Truer words have never been spoken. I’ve tried dieting in the past and while I had some success it never stuck and I can’t say I ever loved what I was doing. That is what is different about Nutrisystem for me. I absolutely love what I am doing and I’m seeing the results. Same goes for exercise. I’ve had success in the past using a treadmill but I can’t say I ever enjoyed it as much as I do today. I certainly NEVER looked forward to it ! iFit is making the difference because it gives me a specific targeted workout instead of just walking endlessly. I enjoy the scenery and the trainer talking to you through the whole session. It’s amazing how fast it goes when you’re not focused on the timer ! I know Nutrisystem isn’t for everyone. I’ve seen plenty of people in the FB group that don’t like the food and are not successful. Many ...

“How noble and good everyone could be if, every evening before falling asleep, they were to recall to their minds the events of the whole day and consider exactly what has been good and bad. Then without realizing it, you try to improve yourself at the start of each new day.” ~Anne Frank~ How can you not be inspired by the words of Anne Frank ? Life dealt her an incredibly bad hand but she made the most of it and refused to give up. It’s only fitting that she live on forever in history. It’s sad that we still have so much hate based on ethnicity or religion in this world today, 74 years after Anne died in a concentration camp. These notes are my way of examining each day and there is little I don’t share, whether it’s good or bad. For me it’s a way of acknowledging what is working and coming up with a new plan for anything that isn’t. It keeps me accountable as well. I’m doing something right because I lost another 2 pounds this week ! That’s a total of 39.4 pounds ! It feels ...