Day 87: Life is Not Always Perfect

“You need to see that life is not always perfect. We will not always get what we want. And though it hurts a lot, what should’ve happened, happened. Who should’ve left, left and whatever’s thrown you off course will always bring you to where it is you need to be.”

I’ve always said things happen for a reason. You often don’t know WHY something happened until much later. I believe the changes in my life started when Alex passed away in 2014. That set off a chain of events that have, little by little, made my life easier, for lack of a better word. I lost 3 dogs and 4 cats after Alex. Although I loved my pets they were a lot of work and quite honestly it was too much for me and I couldn’t keep up. Each loss was devastating and I hope they left me because it was their time - not because someone was trying to make my life “easier”. The fire was also a blessing in disguise because all of the work that needed to be done in my home was done via my homeowner’s insurance. Never in a million years did I expect to come out of that the way I did and I will be forever grateful. So many things have brought me to my knees over the past 5 years but I’m still standing. Sure, there are many things in life I wanted that I didn’t get and there are still things I want that I may never have. But so what - I think that is true for most of us ! So it’s true - life is NOT always perfect and what threw you off course was actually bringing you where you need to be. I finally reached a point where I could focus on myself and my gift to myself was signing up for Nutrisystem. This is where I need to be.

Breakfast today was a 2.8 ounce 160 calorie package of pancakes. I added some peanut butter (about 90 calories) for my Power Fuel. I goofed and later had some yogurt (80 calories) so I had to skip my lunch Power Fuel. I forgot that the peanut butter counted as my breakfast Power Fuel. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder and a 90 calorie veggie cake. Lunch was a 2 ounce 220 calorie cup of loaded baked potatoes. You add 5 ounces of water to this item so the cooked weight is closer to 7 or 8 ounces. This is one of the non-frozen items that I’m trying to use up. Although the flavor is good, mashed potatoes isn’t really a meal to me. I had some raw carrots with it. No power fuel since I goofed earlier today. My afternoon snack was 3 wedges of Laughing Cow cheese (90 calories) and some Good Thins crackers (90 calories). Tonight’s dinner was a 7.2 ounce 270 calorie chicken parmesan. You won’t be seeing this entree again as I don’t care for it. The breaded chicken is always a soggy mush and there are plenty of other entrees with fewer calories that are 10 times better. I had a bowl of freshly roasted brussel sprouts and carrots with it. My evening snack is going to be a 140 calorie 1.8 ounce butterscotch cake. I haven’t had this before but it smells delicious.

As the scale continues it’s slow and steady decline ( down 1.5 pounds this week for a total of 42.5 ! ) I’ve noticed some subtle changes. When I’m lying in bed I can actually feel my hip bones. Today I noticed my upper abdomen is noticeably flatter. I still have a great deal of weight to lose so these little changes give me huge amounts of motivation to continue this journey. Anyone who reads these notes needs to understand I write these to document my journey, not to brag about my achievements. Once I reach my goal I want to be able to go back and see where I was and what got me to my goal. I think that will help keep me on the right path for years to come. I don’t ever want to have to “go on a diet” again.

I am feeling MUCH better today ! Got the laundry done and the house has been tidied up. Watched Twilight movies the first half of the day and Harry Potter the 2nd half. My kind of Sunday ! As expected, after yesterday’s 60+ temps, today we were in the 30’s ! We had some snow flurries this morning and could see some tomorrow too ! Should be back in the 50’s to stay by Tuesday ! I roasted a sheet pan of brussel sprouts and carrots for the week ahead. I’m finding that green beans and broccoli are really not my thing so I’m going with the veggies I like. I also have a head of cabbage to cook. I’m going to try slicing and roasting it - they call it cabbage “steaks”. I bought a smaller head of cabbage so I’m hoping I’ll have enough strength to cut through it. It not I’ll just cut it up the best I can and roast it.

Since I am feeling better I am hoping to restart my treadmill exercise tomorrow. All of my exercise wear has been freshly washed so I’m ready to go ! I also wiped down all the treadmill surfaces I touch with Clorox wipes ! Since I blew my last iFit goal (6 workouts per week for 4 weeks) I deleted that and set a new one, which is 4 workouts per week for 6 weeks.