Day 80: I Have It Within Me

“When feeling overwhelmed by a far away goal, repeat the following: I have it within me right now, to get me where I want to be later.”
~Karen Salmansohn~

I can relate to this quote because my ultimate goal is quite far away. To keep from being discouraged or overwhelmed I’ve been setting smaller goals as time goes on. My journey to my final goal would be very boring if I was just going from Point A to Point B with nothing to look forward to in between. One of those goals was the exercise component. Losing weight is great but fitness needs to be part of my life as well. So I achieved the exercise goal and my current goal is to gradually increase the intensity of my workouts. I’m taking that slow for a lot of reasons. If I get too ambitious and can’t keep up I’ll get discouraged. I’m also not 20 years old so it’s not going to happen overnight. I’ve abused my body for a long time and undoing the damage will not be easy, so I’m being careful not to inflict further injury. I applaud anyone who can jog on a treadmill (or anywhere) because I know that is something I will never be able to do. Right now the short bursts of walking at 3 mph are the limit for me. The next workout I want to try has 90 second bursts at 3 mph and that scares me a little, because some days the 30 second bursts are a monumental effort. I’ll get there. I’m just not sure when. I do have it within me to get where I want to be. The day will come when I can walk into a store and not have to look for the “plus size” clothes. I say that but if I’m being honest I can tell you I’m not 100% sure it will happen. When you’ve failed so many times it is hard to believe this time will be different.

I lost 1.6 pounds this week, which brings my total to an even 41 !

Breakfast today was a 3.8 ounce 90 calorie turkey ham and cheese omelet with some pineapple (about 80 calories). I had a cup of hazelnut coffee with it. After breakfast was over my day went off the tracks. I didn’t eat again until about 3 pm when I had lunch - a 220 calorie cup of white cheddar mac & cheese. The cooked weight is about 7 or 8 ounces. I had some low fat plain greek yogurt with it (80 calories) along with some broccoli. Dinner was a 10 ounce 280 calorie salisbury steak with mac & cheese. I went with a higher calorie entree since I have quite a calorie deficit today. My evening snack was a 1.9 ounce 120 calorie tiramisu. My calories for the day are at 860. I may have another snack when I go to bed if I feel hungry.

My day was off the tracks because I was out most of the afternoon. The car needed an oil change and I’d been putting if off. I also needed to get gas for the week and have it washed, so I got all of that done. I also stopped at Wegman’s to stock up on fresh veggies. I bought some romaine lettuce and shredded carrots so I can start having a salad with my dinner. I bought some “Simply 60” salad dressing too. There are 60 calories in 2 tablespoons and this would be considered an extra so I’ll try to get away with only using 1 tablespoon. I also bought a bag of “broccoli slaw” to try. Seems to be a mix of shredded broccoli, cabbage and carrots. I thought it would be something different to have ! I stopped at Walmart as well because I needed a few other things. I picked up a couple of new things to have for my snacks since I was getting bored with the same thing day after day. I actually thought ahead before I went out and brought my water and a Nutrisystem snack, but I never ate the snack. I was able to get 2 workouts in today - one after lunch and one after dinner. I expect I will sleep like a rock tonight !

I’ve noticed that I scrutinize what other people are buying in the grocery store now. I never used to pay any attention to what anyone else bought because I was usually self conscious of what I was buying. I don’t judge anyone for what they buy. Seeing what others buy reminds me why I am on Nutrisystem. I don’t plan to ever have a shopping cart full of cookies, ice cream and chips again.

I’m sad to see this weekend end. I had a wonderful day yesterday with family and I had a productive yet relaxing day today. It was so nice to see the sun and be able to go out without bundling up ! I even detailed the car in the driveway since melting snow = road spray, so my freshly washed car needed a touch up by the time I got home. I can’t wait to be able to drive with the sunroof open !