My Nutrisystem Journey

"Faith means living with uncertainty - feeling your way through life, letting your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark."    ~Dan Millman~ There is so much truth in this quote. I've been living with uncertainty in my professional life all year and there is no end to that in sight, as more changes and more layoffs are coming. It feels like a runaway train that isn't stopping, so I just have to keep doing what I've been doing and hope for the best, while preparing for the worst. The fact that my personal life is under control ensures that the professional uncertainty doesn't become overwhelming. All I can do is have faith in myself and my abilities and keep working on my financial fitness. I have no doubt I could find another job but the fact is I don't want to. When I leave AT&T I'd like it to be because I chose to retire, not because they decided I had no value after nearly 35 years and booted me out the door. I have no doubt I could fi...

"Today is my tomorrow. It's up to me to shape it, to take control and seize every opportunity. The power is in the choices I make each day. I eat well, I live well. I shape me." Today's quote is so true. Most everything in my life is up to me when it comes to my health and fitness. I have to eat the right things and drink enough water and exercise. No one can do that for me, I have to make the right choices. If I succeed I can thank myself, if I fail I have to ask myself why and what can I do better. Losing weight is not easy. I knew for many years that my weight was out of control, but I chose not to address it. I know the fact that every other aspect of my life was out of control contributed to the problem, but it was my choice to use food to cope. That's not uncommon but it's something I've had to actively work at overcoming. It's a good thing I made the decision to change my personal life before my professional life was turned upside down. If...

"Life is all about balance. You don't always need to be getting stuff done. Sometimes it's perfectly okay, and absolutely necessary, to shut down, kick back, and do nothing. ~Lori Deschene~ When I woke up this morning (at almost 10 am !) I could tell it was going to be a "stay at home on the couch" kind of day, unless I made a concerted effort not to let the "on the couch" part happen. To get myself moving I spent a little extra time sweeping the floor in the laundry room (the cats room) and got the litter boxes cleaned and refilled after feeding them and getting some fresh water. Then I settled down for breakfast. Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 160 calorie cherry cheese roll with cinnamon roll coffee. Since I'm forcing myself to have a Power Fuel with breakfast (as per the Nutrisystem program) I opted for 1/2 cup of cottage cheese (80 calories) today. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 4 ounce ...

"It's okay to fail. Consistent doesn't mean perfect. The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried."  I like this quote because I have a tendency to expect perfection from myself. The problem with that is I'm not perfect and never will be, so I'm never happy with anything I accomplish. Historically, every time I failed (or felt like a failure) I just let it drive me into the ground and eventually I stopped trying. I think it's common to set higher standards for yourself than you expect from others, but some of us take it to extremes. All my life I've let everyone else slide but there was never an acceptable excuse when it came to my own own acti ons. So that's a little bit of learning for today. It's not an easy perception to change. It's one of those things you have to work at over time, so it won't be an overnight fix. Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 180 calorie cinnamon roll with french vanilla coffee. Second cu...

"Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the success you seek." ~Mario Andretti~ I'm motivated. I'm determined. I'm committed. I just can't seem to get all 3 in sync with their elusive step-sister, "consistent". I also don't think my pursuit of my goal is "unrelenting". I don't even know if I have it in me to be unrelenting about anything in my life. I did better yesterday, but yesterday needs to be every day. I know I can't get 2 workouts a day every day, but 1 per day is possible most of the time. Life happens and there will be days I don't have time to exercise or get home too late or don't feel well. The problem is I've used far too many excuses already. So I'll continue to focus on improving that particular aspect of this journey. It's really been 266 days of learn...

"Life will only change when you become more committed to your dreams than you are to your comfort zone." ~Billy Cox~ This is so true. I truly need to just buckle down when it comes to exercise and that means a higher level of commitment than I'm giving it right now. I don't think there's any secret to that. I just have to DO IT ! That means stop being lazy and stop making excuses. This is not hard. I got a little bored with the workout I was doing and I let that become an excuse. There are endless choices in the Ifit app but I pass by a lot of workouts because the speed is too high or there is too much incline for my current fitness level. That's totally an excuse because the app allows you to change both settings. If the pace is too fast you slow it down. If the incline is too high or too long an interval you can drop it down. It's my mindset - if I can't do it the way the app lays it out, I don't do it at all. I joined an Ifit group on Face...

"Cut yourself some slack, be patient, and trust the process. This isn't a quick fix, but a permanent lifestyle change. Give results time to happen." Easy to say .. hard to do some days ! There's a fine line between cutting yourself some slack and just allowing yourself to be lazy. Lazy every once in a while is okay but when it starts to become habit it becomes a problem. I didn't exercise tonight and although I'm not happy about that, I'll try again tomorrow. Patience is easier said than done when it comes to weight loss. I think we all look for fast results and when you have a lot of weight to lose it can be excruciatingly slow. I try to remind myself how long it took to put all this weight on when I think about how long it's taking to get it off. In reality it's happening pretty quickly, so I do try to be patient and focus on all that I've achieved to date. Losing 96 pounds is pretty amazing and I'm still amazed when I look in the mi...

"The hardest thing about exercise is to start. Once you're exercising regularly, the hardest thing to do is stop." I chose this quote today because this is where I want to be. I want to get back to exercising regularly and looking forward to it. Some days are easier than others and the exercise is effortless. Then there are days when it is a monumental struggle. The only constant is that I always, always, always feel great after a workout. I don't really know why that knowledge doesn't inspire me to be consistent. Why would you not eagerly jump back into something you know is going to leave you feeling amazing ? I gave up the Farmville game on Facebook because I felt like that was taking too much of my time and holding me back. For a while I felt like that was the right decision and an easy fix, but the effects didn't last. I still feel like it was the right decision and I don't miss it at all, but now I find myself just plain wasting time that I cou...

"What if I told you that the only person holding you back was you ? What if I told you nobody great ever said, "I can't"? What if I told you that nobody ever succeeded, that didn't try?" Today was about getting motivated to exercise. I could have spent the entire day sitting on the couch doing nothing ... and then hating myself for doing that. So there I sat at 11 am, listening to the internal debate. I didn't want to exercise, I wanted to sit on the couch and drink more coffee. At the same time, I wanted to keep my weight loss moving forward. I know that without exercise progress will be slow and without exercise I won't get the health benefits I'm looking for. Still, zero motivation. I just don't enjoy working out. I don't think it would matter what type of exercise I tried. Yet I'm not content being in a size 16 bottom or size Large top. I want to be out of the "teens" and I want to be in a medium or small top. Exer...

"Pause and remember - slow and steady will get you where you want to go. If you put too much pressure on yourself for results too quickly, you will quickly give up." ~Jennifer Young~ This quote could have been written for me, about me. I put so much pressure on myself about everything that it sometimes gets in the way. When it comes to weight loss, I keep telling myself "slow and steady" but I'm often disappointed when I weigh myself. So I'm saying slow and steady but always expecting more. Or maybe just wanting more and wanting it to happen faster.  I'm down 2 more pounds this week, for a total loss of 96 pounds. In reality this is an amazing loss in less than 9 months, but instead of giving myself credit for all I've achieved to date, I'm looking ahead to hitting the 100 pound mark. I suppose it's good to have a goal but I also need to step back and give myself some credit !! Breakfast was a 2 ounce 160 calorie honey wheat bagel wit...

"A little more persistence, a little more effort, and what seemed like hopeless failure may turn to glorious success." Losing weight is a daily struggle. I have days where I'm right on point: eating only what I'm supposed to, drinking at least 64 ounces of water and getting at least 30 minutes of exercise. For the most part I've got the eating part down. It's the water and exercise that I continue to struggle with. I can't really pin it down to anything in particular, there is nothing stopping me from drinking the water and there is nothing stopping me from exercising. I've been letting the water slip, typically not even starting to drink it until noon. Today I got about 10 ounces in before lunch, which is better but this is an easy goal to reach and I just need to put more effort in to get it done. Since it was a chilly morning I didn't put any ice in the bottle - room temperature was fine. I finished the first 32 ounces by 1 pm and refilled ...

The road might be long. The terrain might be precarious. You might need to sit and rest awhile. But don't turn away from your dreams and your heart's longing. Your very next step could be a moment of greatness. Your very next step may hold all you desire. Keep walking, warrior !" The road has certainly been long and the end is nowhere in sight. Some days it's super easy to keep walking and then I have days where I just want to reach my goal weight and be done with it. The terrain has definitely had its twists and turns. In the early days I dealt with being sick several times. I dealt with injuries several times once I added exercise. I deal with lack of motivation frequently. So I've had my share of days where I indeed sat and rested awhile. But I always get back up and keep going, so I haven't turned away from my dreams. I don't think I've quite accepted that I can never go back to my old eating habits. I'd be lying if I said I don't somet...

"You will always be too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you lose your edge. Apologize for mistakes. Apologize for unintentionally hurting someone - profusely. But don't apologize for being who you are." I've never been one to try and fit in a mold and I'll never apologize for being who I am. I figure if someone doesn't like me that's their issue. You have to live your life in a way that makes you happy. As an adult, you don't have to live by someone else's rules or traditions. At the same time, we shouldn't judge others for the way they choose to live their life. If what I'm doing or what someone else is doing isn't hurting anyone, then you have to respect that. You don't have to agree with my choices and I don't have to agree with yours. This is what makes each of us different, the freedom to live our lives the way we see fit. I've made plenty of mista...

"Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." ~Melody Beattie~ Gratitude is something I think about every single day. I'm grateful to have a good job. I'm grateful to have a nice home. I'm grateful to have a nice car. I'm grateful to have a wonderful family. I'm grateful to have my health. These are in no particular order but I can tell you family does come first. We actually had a bit of a scare tonight as one of my nieces was unaccounted for this afternoon. Turns out she was perfectly fine and we had our days mixed up. She was right at work where she was supposed to be and wondering why the family was blowing up her phone ! So we were worrying for no reason. Still, I'm grateful it was just a mix up, because those girls are so loved ! Despite the negatives I've experienced in life I choose to focus on all of the positives and I give thanks every day for the blessings that have been bestowed o...