Day 270: Faith



"Faith means living with uncertainty - feeling your way through life, letting your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark."    ~Dan Millman~


There is so much truth in this quote. I've been living with uncertainty in my professional life all year and there is no end to that in sight, as more changes and more layoffs are coming. It feels like a runaway train that isn't stopping, so I just have to keep doing what I've been doing and hope for the best, while preparing for the worst. The fact that my personal life is under control ensures that the professional uncertainty doesn't become overwhelming. All I can do is have faith in myself and my abilities and keep working on my financial fitness. I have no doubt I could find another job but the fact is I don't want to. When I leave AT&T I'd like it to be because I chose to retire, not because they decided I had no value after nearly 35 years and booted me out the door. I have no doubt I could find another job and who knows, I might find one that I enjoy more, but I like what I do now and I really want to keep doing it. I've known plenty of hardship so I'm not afraid of that, but I'm really tired of the ups and downs. I suspect I won't really find 100% peace until I can comfortably retire, which isn't happening before age 65 - so I have a few years to go ! I'm not complaining as I know there are many people in much more dire circumstances, but constantly having to worry about being axed wears on you. Sadly, in the world we live in today we're all expendable. 

 Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 180 calorie cinnamon roll with (what else!) cinnamon roll coffee. Second cup was triple chocolate. Breakfast Power Fuel was a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit tiramisu yogurt. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 3.7 ounce 200 calorie grilled chicken sandwich dressed with buffalo sauce and served with a chef salad. Dressing added 30 calories. In between lunch and my afternoon snack I had some raw carrots. Afternoon snack was a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit caramel apple pie yogurt and 2.5 cups of Skinny Pop popcorn (100 calories). This left 375 calories for dinner and an evening snack, Dinner was a 7.5 ounce 220 calorie chicken fettuccine alfredo that I served over riced cauliflower. Evening snack was a 1.8 ounce 150 calorie chocolate cupcake. Total calories for the day are 1195 and I got 64 ounces of water in. 

 I had such an amazing day today. I got a short workout in during lunch and then another this evening. I also spent some time after dinner figuring out the features of the iFit program. I've had the service since March but it took me until today to figure out how to schedule a series of workouts from the website library into the calendar. By doing this I can then access the workouts via the calendar in the app on my tablet. I joined the iFit Facebook group recently and saw many mentions of different workout series that I wasn't able to find when I searched through the library in the app on my tablet. I could find them on the website via my laptop but never figured out how to get them from the website to the app. Lots of people complain about the synergy between the app and the website and their equipment and I have to say, you sometimes just need to try different things and figure it out yourself ! Now that I put in the time and effort to figure it out I'm no longer frustrated with the selection of true "beginner" workouts, because I suddenly have access to a boatload of them ... that have been there all along ! So I'm looking forward to doing some new workouts each day, instead of repeating the same one day after day. It's clear to me that part of my problem with exercise is boredom so I'm hoping this will help !

 Today was a typical fall day, cool and gray. Tomorrow we're supposed to make it into the 80's but that's only because thunderstorms are predicted. We'll be back to the 60's by Wednesday and it's supposed to stay rainy. The good news is Saturday looks to be a nice sunny day and I'm planning some shopping with my mom and my older sister. Boscov's is calling our name !

 I was awake until very late last night because I got interested in an episode of "My 600 Pound Life". For once the subjects (a married couple) were likable ! For the most part they didn't blame their situation on anyone but themselves and they did what they needed to do in order to begin losing the weight. I really hope they stay on track and end up having an amazing life together ! Next up for me is a shower and my bed !

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