My Nutrisystem Journey

"Remind yourself every day: I am in  charge of my happiness. I will not let  anything outside of myself control me. I  am creating a life that feels good on the  inside and it will turn into experiences  that are good on the outside."                          It's Day 565 of Nutrisystem. I wasn't in charge of my happiness, or even my life, for many years so this quote hit the target this morning ! I've finally come to the point in my life where my own happiness is a priority and I'll never let anyone or anything change that. I do not miss the chaos and the constant anxiety. I was reminded of the anxiety when I checked my bank account tonight to ensure my payroll deposit had posted. I felt that old fear. That old sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. The fear that there would not be enough there to cover the bills. The fear that I experienced on an almost daily basis for too many years. Accessin...

"Gratitude turns what we have into  enough, and more. It turns denial into  acceptance, chaos into order, confusion  into clarity ... it makes sense of our  past, brings peace for today, and creates  a vision for tomorrow."  ~Melody Beattie~                          It's Day 564 of Nutrisystem. Gratitude was on my mind today starting with my dental visit. The dentist recommended significant restoration work and it's not cheap. With my insurance and other benefits the cost to me is less than 8% of the total. So I walked out of the office excited about completing the work on my teeth, instead of worrying about the cost. The flurry of appointments begins on August 5th ! Later in the day I was thinking about addiction for no particular reason and my thought was I am grateful my addiction was food rather than drugs or alcohol. I've seen how drugs and alcohol can ruin lives and for me personally, th...

                                                                        A little snow and ice isn't so bad when it's 95 degrees ! "Looking after my health today gives  me a better hope for tomorrow ."  ~Anne Wilson Schaef~                          It's Day 563 of Nutrisystem. Prior to starting the program my health wasn't really a priority. I ignored all the distress signals my body was sending. Sore hip, swollen feet & ankles, fatigue, aching back. Blood sugar highs and lows. I'm sure my blood pressure was high or headed in that direction. I was constantly exhausted. No matter the symptom, I just kept eating and gaining weight. The bag of chips and large tub of onion dip were always the "last time". Eating the whole pint of Haagen...

  "Live life to the fullest, because you  only get to live it once." It's Day 562  of Nutrisystem. Summer weekends are my chance to live life to the fullest. My life may seem boring and mundane but it makes me happy and that is all that matters. I don't need exotic locales or fanciness to be happy. That's never been me but there was a time when I thought I wanted that. Once life changed and I started to feel happy again I realized I didn't really want any of the things I had longed for .. sometimes for years. All I ever really wanted was to be happy and I've got that now. Once that happened none of that other stuff mattered. Today I can leave a store empty handed because I didn't find anything I loved .. instead of it being about a lack of funds. Today I can be happy for people who are enjoying nice vacations or other exciting adventures, because they're doing their version of living life to the fullest ! Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 160 calorie cherr...

"You achieve more when you believe in  yourself and your abilities." It's Day 561 of Nutrisystem. Today I was awake before 6 and actually up before the alarm went off. I guess there is hope for me yet ! Believing in yourself and your abilities is easier said than done. I still have days where I wonder if I'll accomplish all the goals I've set for myself. I still worry about some disaster coming along and destroying all the progress I've made. My scale died and I think I'm consciously avoiding buying a new one because my weight loss has slowed. But then I have days where I feel like I can achieve anything and I'm confident in my ability to reach all of my goals. I have yet to gain weight on this program and I have no reason to believe I've gained any since my scale bit the dust. The Renpho brand of scale has been recommended to me and Amazon has one for $35 that I may try. It has over 44,000 reviews and 79% are 5 stars. So my next micro goal is actu...

"The more mornings I roll out of bed  early,  the closer I am to my goals." It's Day 560 of Nutrisystem. Today was another good day because I was awake before 6 and got up around 6:15. I think part of the reason I was struggling was I was trying to cram multiple intense workouts into the same day. I rolled back the difficulty just slightly for now, so we'll see if that helps.  Breakfast was a 2.5 ounce 160 calorie package of buttermilk waffles with a drizzle of syrup and a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit toasted coconut vanilla yogurt. I never had my morning snack. Lunch was a 4 ounce 240 calorie four cheese melt with a chef salad. Dressing added 30 calories. Afternoon snack was a 1.42 ounce 200 calorie Nature Valley salted caramel nut protein bar. Dinner was a rare treat, a 9.5 ounce 260 calorie roasted turkey medallions with mashed potatoes and gravy. I say rare because I don't often have enough calories left for a high calorie dinner. I also had roasted ve...

"Life will always have it's ups and  downs, but the idea is to never let your  light be dulled.  ~Jon De La Rosa~ It's Day 559 of Nutrisystem. Today was a better day because I was awake before 6 and actually up before 6:10 ! I guess that was my subconscious saying "hold my beer" .. lol ! Whatever it was, I'm glad to have finally had a successful day. I know it may not happen every day but I'm never going to stop trying. I used to let the ups and downs in life derail anything I was trying to accomplish. I gave up so easily and that was the easy way out of everything. I blamed people, I blamed circumstances, nothing was ever my fault. The world was just against me ! Until I actually started trying I had an excuse for everything. Once I started Nutrisystem my success or failure was 100% on me. I couldn't blame anyone else if I failed. Once I started exercising my success or failure was 100% on me too. I struggled with it a lot and I fell back on excuses ...

“Of all the judgments we pass in life,  none is more important than the  judgment we pass on ourselves.” ~Nathaniel Branden~ It's Day 558 of Nutrisystem. Today was a better day but I didn't get up early enough to get a workout in. I actually woke up at 1 am, wide awake like it was morning ! It took hours to get back to sleep so my butt was dragging when the alarm went off ! I'm so frustrated with my inability to get up at 6:30 am. It's not that early. The problem is I know I don't have to get up. When I had to go to the office every day I was up at 5:30 like clockwork. Now I've become a slacker ! So I've changed my alarm time to 6 am in hopes I can be up by 6:30 even if I hit the snooze once or twice. Sounds crazy but it might work. I chose this quote today because I'm trying to judge myself fairly. I could beat myself up all day long about that missed opportunity but what purpose would it serve ? Why kick yourself when you're down ? Is it the end of...

"When you think you're off track,  refocus on where you've come from and  what it's taken to get to where you are  today. Focus on the great achievements  you've made, the milestones and reach  within and feel those successes. All that  matters is getting back on track and  turning that dream into your reality." It's Day 557 of Nutrisystem. Today was all about refocusing after slacking off all weekend. I've accomplished a lot in 557 days but there is plenty more work to be done ! I can't sit back and say "this is enough" because it's not. Those last 14 pounds still need to go and if I can get under 150 that would be a bonus. I feel like lately I've been falling back a little and using sketchy excuses not to exercise. Sure, I didn't feel my best yesterday morning but I didn't try as hard as I maybe could have to work out more. Saturday I was just plain lazy - there is nothing to justify the lack of effort. I made more of an...

"Don't ever give up. Don't let  frustration knock you down. Don't let  fear stand in your way. Don't let time  get in your head. Who cares how long it  takes or how many times you try. Your  only competition is yourself. And when  you finally succeed, the struggle will  all be worth it." It's Day 556 of Nutrisystem. Not giving up was on my mind today because I had a rough morning. It pretty much derailed the plans I had for this day and that was frustrating. So I had to take a step back and think about everything I've already overcome. I've hit plenty of roadblocks over the past 556 days and though they may have slowed me down, none of them stopped me. So I wasn't going to let this stop me either. I was willing to roll back my plans for the day but I wasn't willing to just sit on the couch all day. I may be my only competition but I compete pretty hard most of the time. I know I will get these last 14 pounds off. It may not happen as fast a...

"There are moments that mark life,  moments when you realize nothing will  ever be the same and time is divided into  two parts, before this and after this." It's Day 555 of Nutrisystem. Change was on my mind this morning because of a Facebook memory from my sister's wedding in 2017. I was at my heaviest and I hated the way I looked in her wedding photos. It was incredibly hot that day and when you weigh over 300 pounds the heat is not your friend. While getting dressed for the wedding I discovered my size 7X stockings were about 7 times too small, so I had to go bare legged. I used gargantuan effort to squeeze into the largest "panty girdle" I'd been able to find at Walmart. That too was about 7 times too small. Who needs to breathe when it's 90 degrees ? Then I squeezed my swollen feet into too tight shoes with a low heel. My dress was the only non-issue that day because it was a wrap dress with room to spare. Wrap it around your fat ass, tie it an...

"Being happy doesn't mean everything  is  perfect. It means you've decided to  see  beyond the imperfections." It's Day 554 of Nutrisystem. Happiness. I think it's something we all chase and for a lot of years it was always just out of reach for me. That doesn't mean life was always bad, it just means I never really thought about being happy. I sort of drifted along taking whatever came my way, not striving for anything. I went to work every day, paid my bills and just took life as it came. That also doesn't mean I don't have any happy memories, because I do. The difference today is that my own personal happiness is front and center. I spend more time focused on my own well being than I ever have. On occasion I worry about being thought of as self-absorbed but I'm making up for lost time. I have to tell you, happiness is a good feeling ! It's something I didn't think I would ever have. I think that realization that life (and I) will nev...