The Journey Back: Day 6

 Things always seem a lot more

difficult than they actually are. 

Thankfully, we can always 

change our mind. 

When I went out the door today I wasn't sure I'd be happy with myself when I came home. The day started off great. I slept in and woke refreshed. I did all the usual things to get ready for a day out with mom .. breakfast, shower, feed the cats etc. Then it came time to get dressed. Well, the jeans have been pretty tight lately and I was hoping and praying I'd be able to breathe in them today. My prayers were answered and they went on pretty easily ! I did take a photo and I'm a little "hippier" than I had been, so it's clear that any weight I gain goes directly to my hips and thighs ! In spite of that I feel like I started the new year off on a good note and my goal is to keep the positive vibes flowing all year long ! I tend to agree with today's quotes as I've often found that things are not as difficult as I imagine. Sometimes you just have to push ahead and not let self doubt keep you from at least trying. Even if you fail, you can at least say you tried. There's also nothing to prevent you from continuing to try until you do succeed. In the early part of this journey I had many starts and stops and if I had let self doubt stop me, I would not be where I am today. Has the journey been perfect ? Nope. I've made lots of mistakes. Did I expect it to be perfect ? Nope. I knew it was going to be long and I knew it was going to be a challenge. Did I let that stop me ? Nope. I kept pushing ahead. Yes, there were days I thought I would never succeed and there were days I just wanted to give up. There were days I didn't really try. There were days I tried too hard. There were days I wondered why I bothered, because life didn't magically change. Well, real life doesn't come with magic. You have to make your own and that does mean changing your mind. I'm still working on getting my mind on board, because it can still make me doubt myself.

Today is Day 1094 of Nutrisystem. 162 days since I reached my goal weight. I maintained it for a while but as you know I've gained some weight and I'm working to get it back off, so it's Day 6 of that effort. As I mentioned, today was a day out with mom and, as is our habit, we went to Turning Stone Casino for the day. I always stop at Dunkin to get a coffee for the drive, so that was my splurge for the day. I get a large coffee with cream and caramel swirl flavoring .. it's basically a modified caramel macchiato with fewer calories ! We had dinner at Emerald's restaurant and I had chicken fajitas. I felt like that was a relatively healthy choice since they're skimpy with the cheese and sour cream and I don't eat guacamole. No cocktails and no dessert, in spite of the fact that they have peanut butter sundaes on Saturday ! I also didn't go near Opals .. scene of many decadent pastries and delicious caramel macchiato coffees ! I had pancakes with sugar free syrup for breakfast and that's all I ate until I came home. I had some fresh fruit left over so that was my "dessert" tonight. I proved to myself that I can exercise a little discipline when I really put my mind to it. I didn't die without that cookie or pastry or that sweet coffee. Would I have liked it ? Well, I don't know because to be honest with you I never gave it a thought ! My dinner filled me up and since I've reduced the carbs I had been taking in I don't feel hungry quite so often. I've always known that carbs feed my hunger and that's why the Nutrisystem program works for me: it's low in carbs and high in protein. So today was a win. I came out ahead at the casino too so that was another win !