Day 818: Bad Days

 

 Get well soon Tommy ! #teamrivs #RageOn 🖤

"We don't have a choice in how or

 when our bad days will blindside us.

 But what we choose is how we allow

 them to leave us once they're gone. You

 can use those moments as a catalyst to

 spur you on to greater things or you

 can let it be the event that breaks you

 and leaves you shattered and forever

 lost in darkness." 

Today is day 818 of Nutrisystem. I didn't blog yesterday because I had a complete and total meltdown, one that actually started on Friday. I've been having trouble with my heating system on and off since it went out on me Super Bowl Sunday. I tried to work through it on my own but yesterday was the end when I woke up to no heat. I can't even tell you how many times this has happened over the past couple of months. Yesterday I could not fix the problem. Everything was running but nothing was circulating. I didn't panic at first because I knew it was going to be 70 degrees, so I wasn't going to freeze. Panic set in when I found out there was a winter storm watch for my area and that temps were going to fall to 32 or less tonight and stay there for a couple days. My only real worry was my pipes freezing. I finally called the heating contractor and he said he might not be able to get to me for a "couple days". Uh .. hello .. I can't go without heat. I spent the day going back and forth to the basement shutting down and restarting the equipment in hopes something would work. I reviewed the manual for troubleshooting tips. I watched youtube videos. I played with all the settings. If not for the fact that it runs on natural gas I'd have taken it apart. I couldn't let it go and I'd had enough and I just couldn't cope with it. I crashed. I burned. I melted down completely. I hadn't felt this alone in quite some time. I also hadn't felt this defeated in a long time. I couldn't eat. I couldn't exercise. I barely made it through the work day and I didn't accomplish much. At 5 pm I hit the front porch with a glass of wine, a couple cookies and a couple pieces of chocolate candy. Then I went to bed. Needless to say, I didn't sleep. I watched Dr Pol reruns on the DVR and played slot machine games on my tablet. At 2 am I was in the basement again .. trying yet again to get the heat functioning. I called the heating contractor again first thing this morning and also sent a lengthy text message. Then came a ray of hope at 9:31 am ... " I can try to make it later today " was the reply to my text. Just like that my day got better. I ate breakfast .. I exercised at lunchtime .. I felt better. I was sure help was coming and it did ! They showed up just after 4 pm and were out the door before 5. Turns out a valve that replenishes the water in the system was stuck so there wasn't enough water to circulate for heat. As a result there was also too much air in the system. I guess you'd call that an air lock or a vapor lock. Once the valve was released they bled the lines to purge as much air as possible and allowed the system to refill. There is no sweeter sound than the sound of hot water racing through the pipes bringing glorious heat throughout the house ! My heat is actually operating 100 times better than it has in a long, long time. The lesson here is I didn't reach out for help sooner. I didn't want to complain. Yet again I tried to get by on my own and it only made things worse. It shows me I still have some work to do in that area. My reaction to it all also shows me that I am not 100% healed from the traumas of the past. Needless to say my stress level went from 10,000 to about 1,000 and now I'm about back to normal. Warm registers and clouds of steam drifting past the kitchen window make me smile because it means all is well. This may sound overly dramatic but I feel like I have been to hell and back. I'm not shattered and I'm not forever lost in darkness, but I clearly still have some healing to do. Tonight I am just plain worn out but I am also happy. It's 72 degrees in my house and it hasn't been this warm in weeks. Let. It. Snow. 

Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 160 calorie cherry cheese roll and a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit creme brulee yogurt. Morning snack was a 120 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 3.8 ounce 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt with roasted veggies. Afternoon snack was 1/2 cup cottage cheese (80 calories) and 2 Alyssa's oatmeal cookies (90 calories). Dinner was a 9 ounce roasted turkey medallions. Evening snack was a 1.8 ounce 140 calorie chocolate cupcake. Total calories for the day are 1150 and I got 64 ounces of water in.

My only workout today was a beautiful walk in Connecticut with iFit trainer Casey Gilbert. I worked late tonight because I took time out to deal with the heating issue and I am just plain exhausted. Too exhausted to work out any more. I logged 35 minutes, 2 miles and 239 calories. Fitbit says I did over 10,000 steps so the day wasn't a total loss.

I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge my amazing boss .. who was completely understanding when I bailed on her in the midst of a working session today because the heating guys had arrived. I opted to work late and finish up a few things (with her help) but she was more than willing to take them on herself so that I could go and enjoy my evening. I couldn't do that (she already does too much !) so we worked through them together. I'm so lucky to have her. I am going to bed early again tonight but that is only because I have an incredible headache and I am incredibly tired. I can't promise I won't get out of bed a few times to make sure the radiators are still warm ... but I'm hoping to get a better nights sleep !