Day 812: Be Yourself

 

🖤 Get well soon Tommy ! #teamrivs #RageOn 🖤

"Be yourself no matter what. Some 

will adore you and some will hate

 everything about you. But who cares ?

 It's your life. Make the most out of it." 

Today is day 812 of Nutrisystem. I'd like to think there isn't anyone who hates everything about me, but I'm sure there is. For many years that would have bothered me but I'm over it now. I don't worry about "fitting in" and being like everyone else or being someone I am not. Guess what ? Trying to fit in didn't work, because I never did. It didn't matter how hard I tried and I wasted so much time on people who were not worth the effort. It didn't matter what I did, they were never going to accept me. Why should I be unhappy because someone doesn't like me or accept me the way I am ? I'll be honest - I faced a great deal of name-calling and ridicule because of my weight. Kids didn't want to be my friend and men didn't want to date me. So really the issues with my weight and self esteem started at a pretty young age. People laughed at me .. pointed at me .. made fun of me. That's the reality fat people face every day and unfortunately that is not unique to me. Until recently if anyone laughed in my vicinity I automatically assumed they were laughing at me because of my weight. Why should anyone be unhappy because of the opinions of others ? You shouldn't. My experience was also not unique to just fat people. Anyone who was different was a target. If you had braces. Wore glasses. Had a physical disability. If nothing else I'm more sympathetic to those who are still struggling with their weight and social acceptance. I envy people who have lifelong friendships. I hope they realize how lucky they are to have them. I may be smaller now but I still don't fit in and I'm ok with that. I've reached a point in my life where I'm doing what makes me happy and I am definitely making the most out of my life, despite the restrictions we are all currently living with. That's really all that matters. I may still carry the scars of the past but I do my best not to let them continue to impact my life. I adore me. It's my life and I will always be myself.

Breakfast was a 2.5 ounce 160 calorie package of buttermilk waffles with sugar free syrup and a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit creme brulee yogurt. Morning snack was a 120 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 3.8 ounce 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt with a chef salad. Afternoon snack was 1/2 cup cottage cheese (80 calories) and 2 Alyssa's oatmeal cookies (90 calories). Dinner was an 8 ounce 210 calorie teriyaki chicken with roasted veggies. Evening snack was a 1.8 ounce 140 calorie chocolate cupcake. Total calories for the day are 1100 and I got 80 ounces of water in.

First workout of the day was another rainy walk in Maine with iFit trainer Casey Gilbert. Well, he did some jogging but I walked ! Second workout was in Vietnam with iFit trainer John Peel and #3 was a return to the Abandoned Deep South series with iFit guide Dalen Spratt for a walk around the abandoned Central State Hospital in Georgia. I logged 93 minutes, 5.3 miles and 636 calories. I also got 20 minutes of lower body workout on the Total Gym. Fitbit says I did over 15,000 steps.

It was cool this morning so I didn't venture out onto the front porch until lunchtime. By then it was around 66 degrees but the sun made it feel much warmer. I can't wait until it's warm enough to start opening windows ! It's supposed to be around 64 tomorrow but high winds are going to roll in and bring cooler temps for the next few days. Let's hope my power and internet stay intact for the work day ! I was awake at 3 am this morning and not long after that a brief thunderstorm rolled through, so it took a while to get back to sleep. I'm hoping to get a better nights sleep tonight. On that note it's about time for a shower and bed.