Day 757: It's About You
🖤 Get well soon Tommy ! #teamrivs #RageOn 🖤
Today is day 757 of Nutrisystem. Goals, goals, goals. And growth. Some days I just want to forget about goals and growth and just live a "normal" life. Other days I think about what new goals I could set for myself. How else can I grow ? I haven't really come up with any new goals. Let's face it, goals are hard. Growth is hard ! For years I set goals but never really put in any work toward achieving them. As a result I didn't meet any of them and quickly abandoned them. Paying off my credit card debt is the first measurable goal I've ever stuck with and actually completed. It might have taken 2 years but I did it. Physical fitness was a goal too but how do you measure that ? I could rely on my resting heart rate, which now sits in the "athlete" zone. I consider myself to be physically fitter than I was 2 years ago, but there will always be room to improve. So I might call this goal complete but ongoing. Then we get to reaching my goal weight. This is the big one. This is the one I'm struggling with. This is the one causing the most angst in my life. Credit card debt was easy .. schedule a payment every month and watch the balances drop. I wouldn't say physical fitness was easy but progressing from walking to power walking happened gradually and the more I challenged myself the easier it got. Losing the weight isn't quite so simple. I don't really know why my weight ping pongs by pounds from one day to the next. This is why I've worked hard not to become a daily weigher. Sometimes weighing yourself once a week is hard enough and it can be demoralizing. You stick to the plan all week. You exercise all week. You get on the scale and ... nothing. Not one ounce gone. How can that be ? Then you start reading. Too much exercise can be just as bad as not enough. So how do you figure out what is enough ? Eat before you exercise .. eat after you exercise. What's the difference ? Eat more carbs .. eat less carbs. Eat more, period. How do you know if you're walking the line between weight loss and starvation ? How much does the loose skin that is left behind weigh ? Does that even matter ? Should I be able to feel my ribs and my hip bones ? How do you know what "normal" is when you've been fat all your life ? All this stuff swirls around in my brain and some days it drives me crazy. I definitely set all of my goals for me. That is a 100% without-a-doubt certainty. My goals are going to get me something I want. 100%. I want financial security. I want to be a "normal" weight. I want to be physically fit. The question is this: what really is a "normal" weight for me ? The BMI charts say max of 154 pounds for my height, which is why I set my goal at 150. I still think it's doable and I'm not giving up. Today is just one of those days where I'm tired of thinking about it. I've been doing this for 757 days and really, I had hoped to be "done" by now. Being done is a double-edged sword because being done means maintaining the loss. Being done means there is no reason not to set new goals for something, anything ! Who would ever think coming up with a goal in life could be stressful ? Do you even need goals ? It's not like I'm tired of the Nutrisystem program, because I'm not. I truly enjoy the food and I love the structure of it. I can see myself eating their food at least for the rest of 2021. At the rate I'm going it may take that long to reach my goal ! I also enjoy using the treadmill and Total Gym so I will continue to use both for years to come. Tomorrow is another day. Another 24 hours to "get it right".
Breakfast was a 2 ounce 180 calorie cinnamon roll and a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit strawberry cheesecake yogurt. Morning snack was a 120 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 3.8 ounce 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt and a chef salad. Afternoon snack was 1/2 cup cottage cheese (80 calories) and 2 Alyssa's oatmeal cookies (90 calories). Dinner was an 8 ounce 240 calorie chicken alfredo with roasted veggies. Evening snack was a 2.2 ounce 140 calorie lemon zest cake. Total calories for the day are 1150 and I got 80 ounces of water in.
My lunchtime workout was in Aruba with iFit trainer Chris Clark. After work was Costa Rica with iFit trainer John Peel. After dinner was a 14 minute TED talk. I logged almost 77 minutes, 4.3 miles and 522 calories. I'm tired tonight so I did not use the Total Gym. Fitbit says I did over 12,000 steps.
Weather was quiet but super cold today ! Tomorrow is going to be just as cold but I'm planning a casino day with mom anyways ! Warmer weather will arrive on Sunday and I'll be glad to see the deep freeze go. It seems like no matter how many layers I have on I am still cold. Last night my heating pad was my best friend .. lol ! I really do need to get an electric blanket so I'm going to do a little online browsing for that this weekend. On that note I am heading for a shower and my nice warm bed.
Comments
Post a Comment