Day 753: Doubt
🖤 Get well soon Tommy ! #teamrivs #RageOn 🖤
Today is day 753 of Nutrisystem. Doubt definitely kills a lot of dreams because we are so sure we will fail that we don't even try. At least I do. Or did. Sometimes. Ok, most of the time. Let's face it - I still let doubt get in my way. Too often I am so sure I will fail and if I get up the courage to try, most of the time I am successful. The problem is I let every failure send me back to the starting line, instead of just trying again from where I am. Right now I'm avoiding the scale because I know I gained a couple pounds during Christmas. For all I know I've already lost those pounds but I'm afraid the scale will do nothing but add more doubt to my ability to reach my goal, so I avoid it. Part of my problem is I keep trying to put a timeframe on reaching my goal weight. It's a lot of unnecessary pressure because there is no hurry. I was just reading a story yesterday about our tendency to rush through life. In reality there is no hurry and it's really just my own impatience. I want to be "done" with this journey but at the same time I'm a little afraid of what comes next. I've said this before - maintaining the loss is a big responsibility and here we are .... doubt is holding me back because I'm not confident enough in my ability to keep the weight off. The longer it takes to reach my goal .... the longer I can avoid that responsibility. So that was my food for thought today and I'm not really sure what I'm going to do about it. Right now I don't have a timeframe on reaching my goal weight but I'm not giving up and today was a good start on the road back. I will not allow doubt to kill this dream.
Breakfast was a 2.5 ounce package of buttermilk waffles with sugar free syrup and a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit key lime yogurt. Morning snack was a 120 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 3.8 ounce 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt and a chef salad. Afternoon snack was 1/2 cup cottage cheese (80 calories) and 2 Alyssa's oatmeal cookies (90 calories). Dinner was a 4.7 ounce 250 calorie meatloaf sandwich and roasted veggies. Evening snack was a 2.2 ounce 140 calorie lemon zest cake. Total calories for the day are 1140 and I got 80 ounces of water in.
I didn't get up early enough for a morning workout but I made up for it after work. My lunchtime workout was in Costa Rica with iFit trainer John Peel and after work was Turks & Caicos with iFit trainer Stacie Clark. After dinner was a quick TED talk. I logged almost 69 minutes, 3.9 miles and 464 calories. I also put in 45 minutes on the Total Gym. My back is nearly perfect today so I was able to return to my normal treadmill speed & incline (3.1 to 3.7 mph and 4% or 3% incline). I also completed all of my usual Total Gym exercises, though I was very careful with the one that relies on the back muscles. I think taking a break from exercise yesterday was the right thing to do. I'm not going to overthink the morning workout. If I don't get up, then I'll be doing it in the evening.
I had some extra time during lunch so I finally took down the Christmas lights on the front porch. I haven't lit them for several weeks but I hadn't taken them down. Today was a beautiful sunny day so it wasn't quite so cold on the porch. I'm glad to have that task done ! Despite the rough start I had a good day. I'm hoping things go smoother tomorrow ! We have a winter weather warning for snow tomorrow and Wednesday so I'm glad I don't have to be out in it. Thursday the deep freeze is coming and the low for Saturday night is a big fat zero ! Seems like winter has definitely arrived and isn't going anywhere anytime soon ! On that note it's time for a hot shower and my warm bed.
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