Day 525: Keep It Real

"Never apologize for saying what you

 feel. That's like saying sorry for

 being real."

It's Day 525 of Nutrisystem. I definitely try to keep it real and I talk about how I feel all the time. I don't share everything and I stay away from controversial subjects because the written word is weaponized so often these days. I stick to my own life experiences and the twists and turns of the journey I'm on today. Losing weight has been quite a roller coaster ride. Along the way I've examined a lot of the reasons my life went so wrong for so long. I remember someone asked me long ago why I stayed with an abusive husband. Unless you've been in that situation you can't even imagine the depths of despair you can reach. It's hard to act when you feel helpless, hopeless and alone. I give a lot of credit to anyone who has the courage to walk away. There were actually lots of reasons but I choose not to share most of them. It's not relevant anymore and I learned a lot of valuable lessons. I never thought of myself as an emotional eater but when I examined the past 20 years I realized I was absolutely an emotional eater. Over time food became my coping mechanism and as long as I had that I guess I didn't much care what was happening in my life. Whatever was hurting me felt better when I was eating. Over the past 525 days I've taken major steps towards healing from that past. It's nice to get up every day and feel good mentally and physically. Losing the weight has done that but losing the emotional baggage has helped as well. Improving my financial fitness has helped ease my mind too. Paying off debt and not having to worry about how I'm going to pay my bills is a huge weight off my shoulders. I spent so many years worrying about money and living paycheck to paycheck. Paying the bills was  a juggling act that never seemed to end and I spent many sleepless nights worrying. Credit cards were used to bridge the gap and that's how it got out of control. I've spent a lot of time browsing online since the stores closed but for the most part I've resisted the temptation to order a bunch of stuff. I refuse to fall back into the credit card trap and I no longer feel the need to surround myself with "stuff". I've talked before about wanting "things" for years. I never knew exactly what "things" I wanted ... and that's because I didn't really want things. I just wanted a less chaotic life and I have that now. I didn't realize that until life actually got better ! I feel very, very fortunate to be where I am today. I suspect the day I reach my weight loss goal will be the happiest of my life. The second happiest will be the day my last credit card is paid in full. Both of these events are on track to occur in 2020 so all my memories of this year won't be bad !!

Breakfast was a 2 ounce 180 calorie cinnamon roll and a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit creme brulee yogurt. Morning snack was a 155 calorie chocolate shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 4 ounce 230 calorie four cheese melt with a chef salad. Dressing added 30 calories. Afternoon snack was a 1.3 ounce 180 calorie Jif Power Ups chewy granola bar. Dinner was a 4 ounce 190 calorie artichoke & spinach stuffed chicken breast with roasted veggies. Evening snack was a 2.2 ounce 140 calorie lemon zest cake. Total calories for the day are 1185 and I got 64 ounces of water in. 

I got up a little earlier today and got a quick 20 minute workout in. It was a repeat of a Zion National Park hike with iFit guide Rachel Ross. I just did this one the other day but it somehow ended up on today's schedule. It was a lot of incline but I set the pace at 3 mph for the duration. My lunchtime workout was a 24 minute hike in Red Rock, Southern Utah with iFit trainer Jonnie Gale. This was another repeat but it's been a while. This was a "recovery" hike in his HIIT series but with a pace of 3 or 3.2 mph it was no recovery for me ! There was little incline so the speed was no problem. Three for three, my pre-dinner workout was another repeat. This time a 30 minute hike on the Denver Glacier in Skagway Alaska with iFit trainer Ben Seale. This one had a 10 minute stretch at max incline that really tested my limits. The pace ranged from 2.5 to 3 mph. I last did this one on February 29th and I didn't write a thing about how tough it was. There is no way I didn't struggle with it back then ! Today I was about ready to give up at the 27 minute mark and just then the incline moved from 10 to zero. That allowed me to finish strong ! I logged 74 minutes, 3.5 miles and 487 calories. After dinner I got in the usual 40 minutes on the Total Gym. It helped that it was much cooler today !

As I mentioned, I did get up earlier today. It was shortly after 7 and that gave me enough time to make my bed, feed the cats, work out and have breakfast before it was time to work ! I'd like to get to the point where I get up at 6:30 during the week so I'll keep working at it. It was cloudy and breezy when I got up and we had a quick rain shower. I had already opened all the windows in the house so I was glad it didn't last long ! We had sun and clouds and wind until late afternoon but temps were in the low 70's so it was comfortable. It's quiet out there now and tomorrow is going to be cooler, only in the 60's. We're expecting lows in the 40's Friday and Saturday !! In spite of the breeze I spent the entire day working on the front porch. I got a lot of work done so it was a productive day. I spent half the day thinking it was Wednesday so it was a pleasant surprise to realize it's Thursday ! It's going to be a long weekend because I have Monday off to get the crown process started on my tooth.

Tuesday I'll be starting a John Peel triple play for my workouts. I'm repeating his Lake Tahoe, Costa Rica and Grand Canyon series. He's one of my favorite iFit trainers and I've done all of these series before, but never all 3 at once. This is just another way to challenge myself. I'm actually looking forward to it !

On that note it's time to close all the windows and head for a shower and bed.