Day 420: We All Struggle

 "When you're struggling with 

something, look at all the people 

around you and realize that every 

single person you see is struggling with 

something, and to them, it's just as 

hard as what you're going through."  


 ~Nicholas Sparks~

I remind myself of this all the time, because it's something that helped me get through some of the hardest times of my life. Even when my bank account was at zero and bills were piling up I knew another paycheck was coming. I would always tell myself I was lucky to have a great job with a steady paycheck. When I had leukemia I thought about people who didn't have insurance or had inadequate coverage. I also thought about people who wouldn't have an income during the fight of their life. I was fortunate to have great insurance and receive my full salary the entire time I was ill. The lesson is that despite some hard times I had a lot of blessings in my life too. My struggles were nothing compared to the struggles of some, but that doesn't mean I didn't suffer. I did. So I know there are plenty of people out there suffering just as much as I did. I think about that when people are hateful. I figure they just have a miserable life and it makes them feel better to take it out on someone else. For years I let the hard times make my life miserable when it didn't need to be. Food was a big part of that. The more miserable I was, the more I ate and the more unhappy I was .. and the more I ate. It was a vicious cycle and had I not decided to join Nutrisystem I would probably be well on my way to 400 pounds by now. That frightens me ! At my heaviest I think I weighed around 330 pounds. If I didn't work full time I probably would have weighed even more, since most of my eating was done at home. My stash of chips, cookies, ice cream and candy was always there waiting for me. What's ironic is how much food I had that I never ate. I just had to have it in the house. Until I threw it all away I didn't realize just how much I had "stockpiled". I still tend to stockpile but at least it's healthier foods ! I make sure I always have enough veggies, salad items, yogurt and, of course, Nutrisystem meals & snacks. I pretty much like to have a spare for everything in the house and some of that is because of the tough times I went through. I never had 2 of  anything in the house because I was basically living paycheck to paycheck. It's nice not to run out of toothpaste or shampoo or deodorant or cat food. I went a little crazy with clothes last summer and learned a lesson, because most of what I bought is too big now ! After so many years of being plus sized I was a little bit like that kid in the candy store. I've reined myself in and although I browse online all the time I've refrained from buying any clothing. Facebook ads have been tantalizing me with a Michael Kors bag that I love. It's $157 (which is a great price for MK) but I have a hard time justifying spending that on a purse. I may give in but I'm trying my hardest not to ! The struggle is real.

Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 160 calorie cherry cheese roll with coffee. Power fuel was a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie creme brulee yogurt. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 3.8 ounce 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt with a chef salad. Dressing added 30 calories. Afternoon snack was a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit toasted coconut vanilla yogurt with 12 reduced fat wheat thins (90 calories). Dinner was a 5 ounce 210 calorie broccoli & cheese stuffed chicken breast with roasted veggies. Evening snack was a 2.2 ounce 140 calorie lemon zest cake. Total calories for the day are 1165 and I got 64 ounces of water in. 

I was awake around 3:30 am and at that time it was pouring rain. By the time I woke up again at 7 am it was snowing heavily, as expected. It snowed all morning and into the afternoon. I have no idea how much we got as I haven't been outside. I don't think there is more than a foot out there but the blizzard warning is in effect until 4 pm tomorrow so that could change. Seems like the worst of the snow was north of me, as I had hoped. Since it was a work at home day I got a workout in during lunch. It was a 21 minute "cultural walk" along Niagara Parkway in Ontario, Canada with Mackenzie Putici. He owns New World Wine Tours in Toronto. It was kind of nice to "walk" someplace that I've actually been ! The cultural walks are nice because the pace is usually pretty sedate, and this one was an easy 2.5 mph. I wanted to work a little harder so I put the speed up to 3 mph. After work I completed a 27 minute interval workout in Shanghai, China with Zac Marion. This is the only way I'll ever see any of China ! The workout was short but intense. The pace was 3 mph right off the bat and had four 3 minute intervals of 3.5 to 3.7 mph with only a 1 minute recovery between each interval. When it got to 3.7 mph for 30 seconds I opted to jog. I worked up quite a sweat and this one definitely boosted my heart rate ! I logged 48 minutes, 2.5 miles and 243 calories. After dinner I hopped on the Total Gym for about a half hour. 

The wind is howling outside and it looks like we may get some snow overnight. I'm glad tomorrow is a work at home day so I'll be able to sleep peacefully tonight. On that note, it's time for a shower and bed !