Day 392: Bad Things
"Sometimes really, really bad things
happen to people, and there is no
explanation and no reason
whatsoever." ~Sarah Dessen~
I was thinking about the Kobe Bryant tragedy this morning and I couldn't really wrap my "everything happens for a reason" philosophy around this event. There can't possibly be a reason for the lives of 5 families to change so drastically in an instant. There can't possibly be a reason for 9 people to suddenly be gone. Same goes for all of the other tragedies that occur every single day all over the world. I can't even accept that it was "their time to go". What are the odds of 9 people being together in one place on that day ? So this quote about bad things happening with no explanation and no reason made sense. I think we retrofit what happens in our life so that it fits into the "everything happens for a reason" or "God's will" mold. Maybe that's just a way of coping and finding acceptance. I don't know that Vanessa Bryant will ever agree that her husband and daughter died for a reason or that it was their time, or even God's will. It will always be a bad thing that happened for no reason and without explanation. Maybe my faith isn't strong enough to believe it was their time or that it happened for a reason. If anything in your life could shake your faith to its foundations, this is it. In reality, everything doesn't happen for a reason. Perhaps some things do, but not everything. I look back on my life and many events in my life sent me in the direction of better things, but not everything. Why did I get Leukemia ? I can't put a reason on that. It just happened. Why did the husbands of my 2 colleagues die from their Leukemia ? It just happened. Why was I spared ? I'll never know. Tragedies like this remind me that life is precious and every day is a gift. It also makes me happy that I decided to start caring for myself so that I can enjoy the time I have left on this earth. I feel like I wasted so many years. I do think some things in our lives happen for a reason, but I also believe some things happen for no reason. I also don't believe your Higher Power controls what happens. What I do believe is they are there to help us get through whatever life brings our way.
Breakfast was a 4.4 ounce 180 calorie turkey sausage & egg sandwich. Power fuel was a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit creme brulee yogurt. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 4 ounce 230 calorie four cheese melt with raw carrots. Afternoon snack was a 2.5 ounce 200 calorie bagel chips & cream cheese dip. This left 355 calories for dinner and an evening snack. Tonight's dinner was the absolute worst Nutrisystem entree I've ever had. It was a 7.1 ounce 210 calorie package of macaroni and cheese. It had zero flavor and an odd aftertaste. It didn't help that I served it over brussel sprouts. Even adding a garlic parmesan seasoning didn't help. I was starving so I ate it, but I really wanted to throw the whole plate in the trash and cook something else. I wish I had. I've been on this program for 13 months now and this will stand out as the most disgusting meal I've ever had. Ironic that I titled this blog "bad things", considering I started it this morning before I went to work - long before this awful dinner ! I didn't order the mac & cheese - they substituted it for something I ordered that was out of stock. I have one more in the freezer and it will be going in the trash. I have one more bag of brussel sprouts too and I'm taking a break from those as well. I couldn't even swallow the last one tonight. The fresh ones taste 1000 times better so I need to get to Wegman's and then roast a big pan of veggies. My evening snack was a delicious 1.6 ounce 130 calorie red velvet cupcake with a cup of hazelnut coffee. That helped wash away the bad taste dinner left. Total calories for the day are 1185 and I got 64 ounces of water in.
It was 3 degrees when I left for work this morning so I certainly appreciated the remote start, heated wheel and heated seats in my car ! Since the sky was so clear I was treated to a spectacular sunrise as I passed over Oneida Lake ! I appreciated the short hop from the car to the office. No more 2 city block walks in the freezing cold ! I went out at lunch to get gas and it was still pretty chilly but at least the sun was out. I had a productive morning but I was a little tired this afternoon so I didn't get as much done as I'd have liked. I'm not used to sitting for hours on end. When I'm at home I tend to get up more frequently just to stretch my legs or grab another cup of coffee. Once the snow is gone I'm going to go out on my lunch hour and take a walk on office days.
I'm glad I got my main workout in before that crappy dinner. Today was 26 minutes of intervals with Jonnie Gale in India. It was seven 90 second pushes at 3.2 mph with 90 second recoveries at 2.7 mph. There was no incline to speak of and the time flew right by. I logged 1.2 miles, 26 minutes and 123 calories. Since I was starving I decided to have dinner before getting on the Total Gym. Bad move. After having such an awful dinner I really wanted to just sulk on the couch but I pulled myself back from that .. reminding myself that I was reaching for an "excuse" mostly because I was a bit tired and maybe just a little lazy. It really had nothing to do with the fact that my dinner sucked. So I got my butt on the Total Gym and spent a good half hour doing various exercises. I don't have muscles popping out all over but I can definitely feel a difference in my strength. The most exciting change is being able to lift my left foot and rotate the hip enough to bend and pull off my sock. A couple weeks ago I could not physically do that and even trying caused pretty significant pain. It still causes some discomfort and I take it slowly because the leg muscle tries to throw a charley horse at me, but I can do it ! I've done it 4 days in a row. Unless you've been physically unable to do something for years, you probably can't relate to how exciting this is. I'm so happy I got the Total Gym !
Tomorrow is a work at home day and I'm actually not going back to the office until next Thursday. I'm only working a half day on Wednesday 2/5 because I'm going to the Charity Preview of the Syracuse Auto Expo and need time to get all dolled up ! I'm going shopping for a dress on Saturday, so wish me luck. My personal stylist will be with me ... in the form of my older sister ! The last time I bought a dress was 2017 when my younger sister got married and that was a nightmare because I was so heavy. This time around I'm excited about getting dressed up and I'm not dreading putting on stockings and heels !
Even though I don't have to get up quite so early I am kind of tired so I'm heading up for a shower and bed. There's nothing on tv so it looks like I'll be watching the Science channel tonight !
Breakfast was a 4.4 ounce 180 calorie turkey sausage & egg sandwich. Power fuel was a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit creme brulee yogurt. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 4 ounce 230 calorie four cheese melt with raw carrots. Afternoon snack was a 2.5 ounce 200 calorie bagel chips & cream cheese dip. This left 355 calories for dinner and an evening snack. Tonight's dinner was the absolute worst Nutrisystem entree I've ever had. It was a 7.1 ounce 210 calorie package of macaroni and cheese. It had zero flavor and an odd aftertaste. It didn't help that I served it over brussel sprouts. Even adding a garlic parmesan seasoning didn't help. I was starving so I ate it, but I really wanted to throw the whole plate in the trash and cook something else. I wish I had. I've been on this program for 13 months now and this will stand out as the most disgusting meal I've ever had. Ironic that I titled this blog "bad things", considering I started it this morning before I went to work - long before this awful dinner ! I didn't order the mac & cheese - they substituted it for something I ordered that was out of stock. I have one more in the freezer and it will be going in the trash. I have one more bag of brussel sprouts too and I'm taking a break from those as well. I couldn't even swallow the last one tonight. The fresh ones taste 1000 times better so I need to get to Wegman's and then roast a big pan of veggies. My evening snack was a delicious 1.6 ounce 130 calorie red velvet cupcake with a cup of hazelnut coffee. That helped wash away the bad taste dinner left. Total calories for the day are 1185 and I got 64 ounces of water in.
It was 3 degrees when I left for work this morning so I certainly appreciated the remote start, heated wheel and heated seats in my car ! Since the sky was so clear I was treated to a spectacular sunrise as I passed over Oneida Lake ! I appreciated the short hop from the car to the office. No more 2 city block walks in the freezing cold ! I went out at lunch to get gas and it was still pretty chilly but at least the sun was out. I had a productive morning but I was a little tired this afternoon so I didn't get as much done as I'd have liked. I'm not used to sitting for hours on end. When I'm at home I tend to get up more frequently just to stretch my legs or grab another cup of coffee. Once the snow is gone I'm going to go out on my lunch hour and take a walk on office days.
I'm glad I got my main workout in before that crappy dinner. Today was 26 minutes of intervals with Jonnie Gale in India. It was seven 90 second pushes at 3.2 mph with 90 second recoveries at 2.7 mph. There was no incline to speak of and the time flew right by. I logged 1.2 miles, 26 minutes and 123 calories. Since I was starving I decided to have dinner before getting on the Total Gym. Bad move. After having such an awful dinner I really wanted to just sulk on the couch but I pulled myself back from that .. reminding myself that I was reaching for an "excuse" mostly because I was a bit tired and maybe just a little lazy. It really had nothing to do with the fact that my dinner sucked. So I got my butt on the Total Gym and spent a good half hour doing various exercises. I don't have muscles popping out all over but I can definitely feel a difference in my strength. The most exciting change is being able to lift my left foot and rotate the hip enough to bend and pull off my sock. A couple weeks ago I could not physically do that and even trying caused pretty significant pain. It still causes some discomfort and I take it slowly because the leg muscle tries to throw a charley horse at me, but I can do it ! I've done it 4 days in a row. Unless you've been physically unable to do something for years, you probably can't relate to how exciting this is. I'm so happy I got the Total Gym !
Tomorrow is a work at home day and I'm actually not going back to the office until next Thursday. I'm only working a half day on Wednesday 2/5 because I'm going to the Charity Preview of the Syracuse Auto Expo and need time to get all dolled up ! I'm going shopping for a dress on Saturday, so wish me luck. My personal stylist will be with me ... in the form of my older sister ! The last time I bought a dress was 2017 when my younger sister got married and that was a nightmare because I was so heavy. This time around I'm excited about getting dressed up and I'm not dreading putting on stockings and heels !
Even though I don't have to get up quite so early I am kind of tired so I'm heading up for a shower and bed. There's nothing on tv so it looks like I'll be watching the Science channel tonight !
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