Day 391: What It's Not About

"It's not about how fast or how far you 

have to go. It's about digging deep and 

pushing yourself to keep moving 

forward."

When this journey first started I had many days where I had to dig really, really deep to keep going. A lifetime of bad habits don't disappear overnight and it's a daily struggle to make the changes required to get the weight off, keep the weight off and continue to lose more weight. Same goes for fitness. Until I lost a good bit of weight I was still tired every day after work and on weekends I just wanted to sit on the couch. Some days I didn't get on the treadmill at all and I had 100 excuses why and I justified it every which way in my mind. But in the end a lot of it was just laziness and not putting in the effort needed to change that habit. Exercise didn't have the priority it needed to have. I'm not perfect today and I don't think I will ever be able to claim perfection, but I'm getting better ! I took a slight step back and I focus more on one day at a time now. When I look at it that way, there are a lot more positives and that is motivating to me. Yes, I will have the occasional day when I don't exercise or eat off plan but I call that life. I've said this before - if I can adhere to the guidelines for 5-6 days a week I'm not going to worry about that one day I might have lived a little. A handful of french fries or an extra snack here and there is not going to change the fact that I've lost 123 pounds ! I've proven to myself that I can get back on track. I let myself indulge a bit at Christmas even though I worried it might make me feel deprived later on or could lead to overeating again. In the end I got right back on the program and never looked back. I think I learned my lesson when I overdid it at Red Lobster for my birthday. I seriously overate and did not feel well after. It reminded me that I used to feel that way all the time. It's nice to wake up without aches and pains and it's nice to be able to exercise and not feel like I'm going to die. My feet and back used to hurt all the time and I can't tell you the last time I had any pain in either. Today I can look in the mirror and smile. Today I feel good about what I see, even though I'm not quite where I want to be just yet. Seeing the progress I've made is just more motivation to dig deep and keep pushing forward because the goal is in sight and I know I can get there. It really isn't about getting there fast and I think more about today than the end of the journey, because I don't think the journey will ever truly end. I will have to be vigilant about my weight for the rest of my life. I will also have to keep up with my exercise program for the rest of my life. So it won't end when I reach my goal weight. The focus will change from losing weight to maintaining the loss and I think that will be just as hard ! I'm not sure how (or if) I'll adjust my exercise program. I may just keep going at the same pace.

Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 160 calorie cherry cheese roll with caramel creme coffee. Power fuel was a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit key lime yogurt. Morning snack was a 155 calorie chocolate shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 4 ounce 220 calorie spinach & cheese pretzel melt with raw carrots. I bring more carrots to the office now and it's helped keep the afternoon hungries away ! Afternoon snack was a 1.8 ounce 200 calorie fudge graham bar. This left 385 calories for dinner and an evening snack. Dinner was a 7.5 ounce 230 calorie chicken marsala that I served over riced cauliflower. Evening snack was a 2.1 ounce 130 calorie strawberry shortcake cupcake. Total calories for the day are 1175 and I got 64 ounces of water in. 

Today was an office day and it was nice to get out of the house ! Although I'm loving being able to work from home I do miss the social interaction of a large office. I worked with so many great people and I really miss them ! Weather was quiet today and it looks like tomorrow will be more of the same. It's dipping down to 10 degrees tonight so it's going to be a chilly commute ! After next week I won't have to go to the office again for 2-3 weeks as a special project will be under way and they're using the space we usually use. Considering how unsettled the weather can be in February I am pretty happy about this !

I got on the treadmill as soon as I got home for what I thought was going to be a challenging workout. I thought it was 22 minutes at 3.3 mph but it turned out to be only 15 minutes followed by off machine stretching. I was just hitting my stride when the workout pretty much ended ! Since I don't do the off machine stuff I just bumped the speed back up to about 2.8 mph and stayed on the machine. I logged 1.1 miles, almost 23 minutes and 123 calories. After my workout I threw the frozen cauliflower in the microwave and hopped on the Total Gym to do some arm pulls. I was able to do 2 sets of 25 in that 5 minute period. After dinner I got back on and did 3 different types of squats (2 sets of 25 each) and a couple of other exercises. I'm feeling pretty comfortable with the Total Gym but I'm still taking it slow and easy. I have the height set at 4 (highest is 8) and I expect to keep it there for a while longer. I do put it up to 8 for the squats but I don't have enough strength to do anything using my arms at that height. I'm going to be out most of the day Saturday but on Sunday I'm going to put a beginner video on and see if I can follow along better.

Since tomorrow is an office day it's time for a shower and bed !