Day 389: The Greatest Challenge

"The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are. The second greatest is being happy with what you find."

How do you know when you've discovered who you are ? Do you ever stop discovering yourself ? Is there ever an "aha" moment ? If you never make that discovery how can you ever be happy ? Exactly how do you describe who you are ? Honestly, I don't know. Famous people describe themselves based on what they're famous for. I'm an actor, I'm an athlete. Professionals describe themselves based on their profession. I'm a lawyer, I'm a doctor. What about the rest of us ? I don't think of myself as anything special, yet I'm happy with that. So maybe the answer is I've discovered I'm nobody and I'm happy anyway. I never wanted to "be somebody". All I ever wanted was the basics: a job, a husband, a family, a home. My job has lasted nearly 35 years and I have a home. The husband part didn't work out and neither did having a family. Yet today I can say I'm happy. Do I have regrets ? Of course, who doesn't ? I wish I'd been able to experience the joy of having children, yet I'm glad none were born into the toxic environment I lived in. Perhaps that was a blessing in disguise. I wish the husband part had turned out better too. Sure, I could marry again but I doubt I could ever trust anyone that much again. Still, I'm happy. I'm focusing on improving me and I'm discovering that I can be a thin person and I can be a fit person. A couple of years ago I wouldn't have believed it. I bought my treadmill in the fall of 2018 and it sat there unused for months. Even after I started Nutrisystem I resisted working exercise into my daily routine. It really was the hardest thing I've ever done. So adding the Total Gym was another leap of faith. It wouldn't have surprised me if it sat here unused for a while. It didn't. I broke off the unhealthy relationship with food. I got into a good routine with the treadmill. I had proven I could do anything I put my mind to. So the Total Gym didn't sit there .. it was unboxed and tried out the same day it was delivered. Over the past year I've discovered part of the reason I didn't accomplish much in my life is because I raised the bar so high for myself and had this "all or nothing" attitude. Breaking down my weight loss goals allowed me to break down my fitness goals and once I saw results I realized I didn't need to focus on losing 154 pounds or being able to jog on the treadmill or walk at max incline. I focused on one day at a time and surprised myself with mini achievements all along the way. That made it easy to incorporate Total Gym. So who am I ? I'm someone who can do whatever I put my mind to and I'm happy about that !

Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 180 calorie cinnamon roll with butter toffee coffee. Power fuel was a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit tiramisu yogurt. Morning snack was a 155 calorie chocolate shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 2 ounce 220 calorie white cheddar mac & cheese. You add water to this item so the cooked weight was more like 7 or 8 ounces. I had a chef salad with it so dressing added 30 calories. Afternoon snack was 1/2 of an almond, cranberry, oat granola bar (90 calories) and 1 ounce of cheese (110 calories). Dinner was a 7.5 ounce shrimp & chicken stir fry that I served over riced cauliflower. I don't particularly care for this entree so you won't be seeing it again. Evening snack was a 1.9 ounce 120 calorie tiramisu. Total calories for the day are 1185 and I got 64 ounces of water in.

First workout of the day was a 21 minute interval walk in India with Jonnie Gale during my lunch. It consisted of 4 one minute intervals at 3.2 mph with 3 minute recoveries at 2.7 mph. Second workout of the day was more of a challenge. It was a 33 minute steady state walk in Hawaii, also with Jonnie Gale. I wasn't sure I could sustain 3 mph for that long but I did ! I logged 2.6 miles, 54 minutes and 263 calories today. After dinner I had a cup of coffee and then hopped on the Total Gym. I almost skipped it because I was pretty comfy on the couch. I put in about 25 minutes doing squats and arm pulls and a rowing type exercise. I'm definitely seeing improvement in the left hip pain ! Tonight it was a tiny bit easier and a little less painful to get that left foot up to pull off my sock ! I'm also not having as much pain when I get up from a sitting position. So the squats are definitely helping the hip flexors. I'm now doing 2 sets of 25 on each exercise and I'm going to stay at that pace for a few weeks. 

So much for the winter storm that was predicted yesterday ! I didn't see any snow until I was going to bed last night and even then we only had a couple of inches. There's a chance of flurries in the morning but the rest of the week looks to be pretty quiet so I'm happy about that ! Time for a shower and bed because I'm kind of tired.