Day 386: Fears vs Dreams
"Don't be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart." ~Roy T. Bennett~
I spent years being pushed around in more ways than I care to remember and fear, both real and imagined, was part of my daily life. When life changed and things started to get better that fear didn't just magically go away. The smallest bump in the road would send me right back to those awful days. I finally turned a corner in 2019 and can pretty much face anything that comes my way now, so I don't live with fear anymore. There are still things that can trigger a reaction but they're typically short lived. I think spending the past year focusing on losing weight and getting fit has made the most impact. It's given me something important to focus on: ME ! The progress I've made with my financial fitness has also helped, since my job still feels tenuous. Today I'm working on fulfilling the dreams in my heart and that is so satisfying. When I started this journey I didn't really have any dreams. I didn't believe in myself. I didn't think I could stick with a diet of any kind. I didn't think I could stick with an exercise program. At some point over the past year I started to believe and fear did creep in ... fear that I would get too confident and not "finish the job" - meaning reach my goal weight. I could be happy at my current weight but I'd still be considered overweight and that is not an option. I've put in nearly 13 months of work and I'll be darned if I'm going to take the easy way out and stop now. For once in my life I will finish something that I started. I will reach 150 pounds and then I plan to blast past that to the 140's. Nothing and no one will stop me.
Breakfast was a 1.2 ounce 160 calorie cherry cheese roll with a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit creme brulee yogurt for my power fuel. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 3.7 ounce 200 calorie grilled chicken sandwich and a chef salad. Dressing added 30 calories. Afternoon snack was 1/2 of an almond, cranberry & oat bar (90 calories) and an ounce of cheese (110 calories). This left 375 calories for dinner and an evening snack. Dinner was an 8 ounce 180 calorie creamy chicken broccoli pasta that I served over air fried broccoli. Let me just tell you ... the crispy brown parts of the broccoli were delicious ! Evening snack was a 1.8 ounce 140 calorie s'mores pie with a cup of cinnamon roll coffee. Total calories for the day are 1145 and I got 64 ounces of water in.
Today was a work at home day so I got a workout in during lunch. It may have only been 22 minutes but I worked up quite a sweat ! The majority of this hike in Oregon was at 3 mph, which isn't super fast but there was also a lot of max incline to go with that speed. The two combined made it tough for me because I haven't done max incline at that speed ! Every time I thought I couldn't finish there would be a bit of a decline or a slight decrease in speed - just enough to keep me going to the very end ! I will be doing this workout again because it's short but intense ! The trainer was new to me, Zac Marion, and he was pretty engaging. I wasn't sure about workout #2 for today. It was a 40 minute "cultural walk" in Istanbul, Turkey with pretty much no incline and a steady speed of 2.5 mph. I was afraid it was too long and that I wouldn't be able to walk that long. In the end I decided I had to try because it would help build endurance. At the beginning I was concerned because the guide, Salih Batkin, had quite an accent and I was thinking I'm not going to understand anything he says. In the end all my fears were unfounded because I was able to walk that long and understood most of what he said. It was an interesting glimpse of Istanbul ! He's actually a professional tour guide who specializes in English language tours of Istanbul. What's ironic is that each workout today burned about 180 calories ! That really illustrates the benefit of short high intensity vs long low intensity workouts. Today I logged 2.7 miles, 62 minutes and 363 calories. After my evening workout I did some Total Gym exercises while my dinner was cooking. I did leg pulls, arm pulls, bicep curls, 4 different kinds of squats and a few crunches. Total Gym recommends 2 sets of each exercise you do with 15-25 reps but I've been sticking at 15 reps on each exercise. With the exception of the squats, by the time I hit 15 reps I am struggling anyways. I haven't had any muscle pain over the past couple of days so I must be doing something right ! Right now I'm not following any particular routine. I'm giving myself 2 weeks to do the 2 "starter" exercises with some freestyle thrown in and then I'll move on to the "beginner" workout, which consists of 7 exercises, for 2 weeks.
It was a quiet weather day and temps made it up into the mid 40's. Rain is coming tomorrow followed by the possibility of snow on Sunday so I'm hoping to get outside tomorrow morning and clean up any snow left in the driveway. I'm putting in a couple hours of overtime in the afternoon so I'm not planning on going anywhere. Sunday we may have snow but I'm hoping to still get out for a Walmart run.
Time for a hot shower and my warm bed !
Breakfast was a 1.2 ounce 160 calorie cherry cheese roll with a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit creme brulee yogurt for my power fuel. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 3.7 ounce 200 calorie grilled chicken sandwich and a chef salad. Dressing added 30 calories. Afternoon snack was 1/2 of an almond, cranberry & oat bar (90 calories) and an ounce of cheese (110 calories). This left 375 calories for dinner and an evening snack. Dinner was an 8 ounce 180 calorie creamy chicken broccoli pasta that I served over air fried broccoli. Let me just tell you ... the crispy brown parts of the broccoli were delicious ! Evening snack was a 1.8 ounce 140 calorie s'mores pie with a cup of cinnamon roll coffee. Total calories for the day are 1145 and I got 64 ounces of water in.
Today was a work at home day so I got a workout in during lunch. It may have only been 22 minutes but I worked up quite a sweat ! The majority of this hike in Oregon was at 3 mph, which isn't super fast but there was also a lot of max incline to go with that speed. The two combined made it tough for me because I haven't done max incline at that speed ! Every time I thought I couldn't finish there would be a bit of a decline or a slight decrease in speed - just enough to keep me going to the very end ! I will be doing this workout again because it's short but intense ! The trainer was new to me, Zac Marion, and he was pretty engaging. I wasn't sure about workout #2 for today. It was a 40 minute "cultural walk" in Istanbul, Turkey with pretty much no incline and a steady speed of 2.5 mph. I was afraid it was too long and that I wouldn't be able to walk that long. In the end I decided I had to try because it would help build endurance. At the beginning I was concerned because the guide, Salih Batkin, had quite an accent and I was thinking I'm not going to understand anything he says. In the end all my fears were unfounded because I was able to walk that long and understood most of what he said. It was an interesting glimpse of Istanbul ! He's actually a professional tour guide who specializes in English language tours of Istanbul. What's ironic is that each workout today burned about 180 calories ! That really illustrates the benefit of short high intensity vs long low intensity workouts. Today I logged 2.7 miles, 62 minutes and 363 calories. After my evening workout I did some Total Gym exercises while my dinner was cooking. I did leg pulls, arm pulls, bicep curls, 4 different kinds of squats and a few crunches. Total Gym recommends 2 sets of each exercise you do with 15-25 reps but I've been sticking at 15 reps on each exercise. With the exception of the squats, by the time I hit 15 reps I am struggling anyways. I haven't had any muscle pain over the past couple of days so I must be doing something right ! Right now I'm not following any particular routine. I'm giving myself 2 weeks to do the 2 "starter" exercises with some freestyle thrown in and then I'll move on to the "beginner" workout, which consists of 7 exercises, for 2 weeks.
It was a quiet weather day and temps made it up into the mid 40's. Rain is coming tomorrow followed by the possibility of snow on Sunday so I'm hoping to get outside tomorrow morning and clean up any snow left in the driveway. I'm putting in a couple hours of overtime in the afternoon so I'm not planning on going anywhere. Sunday we may have snow but I'm hoping to still get out for a Walmart run.
Time for a hot shower and my warm bed !
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