Day 384: The Problem

"The problem isn't with your body. The problem is what you think of it. And what you think of yourself."

I spent so many years hating the way I looked yet I never really did anything about it. When I look back I can't really blame it all on "circumstances" because I've been heavy my entire adult life. Yes, my weight ballooned out of control while I was in a chaotic marriage but once I was on my own again things didn't really change. In the end I got even bigger - the biggest I think I've ever been (and ever will be!) in my life. So I have come to accept most of the responsibility for that. No matter what, I controlled what I was eating and I controlled my level of activity. You can be thin, active and unhappy just as easily as you can be fat, inactive and unhappy. All fat people aren't unhappy and all thin people aren't happy. So although one can impact the other, in the end it's all about the choices we make. It's all about the direction you go to develop whatever coping mechanism you need. Some people choose drugs or alcohol and some people choose food. During a hike in Bolivia iFit trainer Hannah Eden talked about using exercise to relieve stress and I found her words very inspiring. I'd like to be able to turn to exercise instead of food too, so that is the direction I'm trying to point myself. I'll never be as in shape as she is (check out her IG @hannaheden_fitness if you don't believe me!) but I have a LOT of room for improvement ! Still, I'm determined to change the way I think about myself and my body. I'm liking the changes I'm seeing so I'm encouraged !

Breakfast was a 3 ounce 160 calorie baked banana and chocolate oatmeal. Power fuel was a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit key lime yogurt. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 4 ounce 220 calorie spinach & cheese pretzel melt with raw carrots. Afternoon snack was a 1.8 ounce 200 calorie fudge graham bar. This left 375 calories for dinner and an evening snack. Dinner was a veggie burger with fries at Point Place Casino. Evening snack was a 1.3 ounce 140 calorie lemon cooler cookie. My countable calories are 965. I have no idea what the calories were for dinner so I'm just rounding up to 1200. I likely exceeded that but I'm not going to stress about it. The veggie burger is house made at the Casino and although I was apprehensive it turned out to be amazingly delicious and I ate every bit of it ! I really, really loved it ! I opted not to eat the top half of the bun because it was just too much bread and I was having fries. Mom had the pot roast dinner special and that was delicious too. She ate every bit and that is rare for her !

In a happy surprise I got my car back today ! She's good as new and hopefully will stay that way ! It's hard to describe how good it felt to slide back into that car. It may sound silly but it wraps around me like a warm embrace ! She is sparkling inside and out and I can't say enough about the service I get at Driver's Village ! As I mentioned, mom and I went to Point Place to pick up our gift tonight, which was a plaid travel blanket, mittens, hat and scarf. It's a red/black plaid and really pretty nice stuff ! I lost $20 but I spent quality time with my mom (priceless!), got the free gift, had a free dinner and got $10 in credits I can use for dinner next time ... so did I really lose anything ? In a twist of fate I found a $25 chip someone left at a machine and used that to play with for a while ! Mom had a really lucky night so she was very happy. All in all I had a wonderful day. It was an office day and since I was busy the day flew by ! 

I didn't exercise tonight because I was out late and had to clean up some snow in my driveway when I got home. Since I wasn't feeling well Sunday and Monday I never cleaned up the driveway after it was plowed. Shoveling snow counts as exercise ! Tomorrow is another office day and then I'll be home for 5 days .. I'm liking this schedule ! 

Something I ate made me thirsty so I'm going to be drinking all night and you know what that means .. ugh ! Time for a shower and bed.