Day 362: Goodbye 2019

"Another year is almost over and I just want to thank the special people in my life who have listened without judgement, helped without conditions, understood with empathy and loved me no matter what."

2019 has certainly been quite a year. It started off with such hope because I finally decided to do something about my weight, my physical fitness and my financial fitness. Then, 7 days into the year, life changed. That was the day they announced the office I've worked in for over 34 years was closing. Was I surprised ? Not really, though I didn't expect the news to come so soon. After the initial shock wore off I took stock of my life and realized I would be fine. I was entitled to 6 months of severance pay. I was retirement eligible, so I could begin collecting my pension. I also had a healthy 401k. Still, the thought of trying to find a new job inside or outside of the company was daunting. I haven't interviewed for a job since 1985 ! Regardless, I immediately started looking for new opportunities. Fortunately for me I received word several weeks later that I would still have a job, so I was able to put that crisis aside and devote all of my attention to losing weight and getting fit. January was the worst month of the year. I thought I would lose my job, I was sick a lot, then had to deal with frozen pipes and no heat twice. December brought a close encounter of the bad kind with a deer to cap off the year ! It seems like the year got off to a rough start and ended with rough patch, but there's really nothing negative in between that stands out. It was hard to say goodbye to most of my colleagues, but that was infinitely harder on them. The job changes for me have been nothing but positive, so I cannot complain. When I look at the big picture, 2019 was an amazing year. I've lost 118 pounds, I'm working hard on improving my physical fitness and I've paid off all but 1 credit card and lived a mostly cash life. So my goals are on track going into the new year. For pretty much the first time in my life I actually made and stuck to some New Year's Resolutions and my weight is back to where it was in 1997, before life went so wrong ! The same goals will follow me into 2020 and when December 31, 2020 rolls around I hope to be at or below my goal weight, have that last credit card paid off or close to it and be rocking my exercise program. More a wish than a goal, I also hope to still have my job. 

Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 180 calorie cinnamon roll with peppermint bark coffee. Second cup was butter cookie and my power fuel was a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit strawberry cheesecake yogurt. Morning snack was a 155 calorie chocolate shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 4 ounce 230 calorie meatball parmesan melt with a chef salad. Dressing added 30 calories. After last weeks fiasco with the Serrano peppers and my burning hands I ground the rest of them up in the food processor with a little olive oil (without touching them!) and now I just add a spoonful of the puree to my salad. Afternoon snack was a 90 calorie veggie cake (11 to go!) and a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit key lime yogurt. This left 355 calories for dinner and an evening snack. Dinner was a 4 ounce 180 calorie artichoke & spinach stuffed chicken breast served with a bowl of my roasted veggies. I microwaved the chicken just long enough to partially thaw it and then popped it in my new air fryer. All I can say is WOW !!! Total game changer ! These chicken breasts are good but tend to get rubbery in the microwave. By air frying, the outside was crisp and the inside was tender.  Evening snack was a 2 ounce 140 calorie pumpkin cake. Total calories for the day are 1165 and I got 64 ounces of water in.

I mentioned yesterday that I've learned a lot about myself this year. One thing I've learned is that I'm capable of so much more than I ever thought. Old dogs CAN learn new tricks ! Meaning, no matter how old you are ... you can change. Maybe it's gotten easier for me to change because the depression I had felt for so long seems to have lifted. Maybe it's gotten easier for me because I'm no longer carrying so much excess weight, which is exhausting. Maybe it's because exercise has chased away my back and joint pain and increased my endurance and stamina. I think it's a combination of all of that. The fact that I no longer commute 5 days a week makes a huge difference as well. I used to run out the door shortly after 6 am and not get back home until nearly 6 pm. Now I only go to the office twice a week and I don't have to leave until 7 am. Most mornings I can do things around the house before work and I can also accomplish things during my lunch hour, whether I'm at home or at the office. I'm also "home" from work at 5 pm on work at home days, instead of 6 pm. Life has changed so much and quite a bit of the change has been a blessing for me. How long will it last ? Hard to say, but I will continue to be grateful for every day. I was thinking about this today when the garbage men came. Over the summer I had allowed the styrofoam coolers from Nutrisystem to accumulate on the front porch, along with some large cardboard boxes and other assorted junk. I didn't like to put large, lightweight or loose stuff out with the trash at night because you never know when it's going to get windy and blow away, so it always piled up and became overwhelming to me. I had this "all or nothing" mentality so I couldn't bring myself to just address it bit by bit, for whatever reason. Now that I'm at home on garbage day I've been able to get rid of everything except a few coolers. I put a couple out when the weather cooperates and now it's so nice to walk out on the front porch and not be confronted by a garbage pile. The "all or nothing" mentality kept me from doing so much. If the house was a mess I'd just keep ignoring it because it was too overwhelming, instead of just starting somewhere and chipping away at whatever needed to be done. Today I can walk through a room and spend a couple minutes doing whatever needs to be done and move on. I no longer feel like I have to run through the entire house and do everything all at the same time. I think I looked at my weight the same way. The thought of losing half of my body weight was completely overwhelming so I did nothing about it. When I started this journey I was addressing my physical health but it has resulted in incredible changes to my emotional health as well. I can't say when it happened, but I can feel again. I had suppressed my feelings and emotions for so many years and one day I realized that I actually felt "happy". I could look in the mirror and smile again. I could go on and on and on about this, because for me it is a monumental life-changing development. Unless you've experienced it for yourself you can't even imagine what it feels like to suddenly have your emotions turned back to the "on" position. It's pretty overwhelming. 2019 was probably the first year of my life that was all about me. Everything I did was to make my life better and I'm looking forward to continuing the journey in 2020.

During lunch today I did workout #19 of 24 in the Alps series with John Peel. This 23 minute workout was at max incline pretty much the whole way. I'm already wondering what I'll do when this series is complete ! My evening workout was another in the Bolivia series with Hannah Eden. This workout was 39 minutes of one minute intervals with 30 second recoveries. It started with a round of 10 at 3.2 mph followed by a round of 10 at 3.4 mph. It was a good way to end the year ! Today I logged 2.7 miles, 62 minutes and 372 calories. My stats for 2019 are pretty amazing: 411 miles, over 160 hours and 65,207 calories burned !

About 2:45 pm today I nearly fell out of my chair when an Emergency alert sounded on my phone, warning of a severe fast moving snow squall headed my way. It didn't amount to much in my area .. a little blast of snow (not white out conditions as predicted) and that was that. The snow barely covered the grass, let alone the roads. So much for 8-15 inches of snow !

Since the weather was going to be bad I opted to spend my New Year's Eve at home alone. I intend to sit on my couch in the dark at midnight to admire my Christmas tree and reflect on the year I've had. With a glass of wine in hand and maybe some popcorn for a treat, I'll toast the end of an amazing year and make a wish for an even better 2020 .. for all of us !

Tomorrow I'm starting 2020 off by doing 2 workouts I was unable to complete when I started using my treadmill back on 02-10-19. Even though they might be "easy" to do now, it will still feel good to start the new year off by doing something I physically could not  do almost 11 months ago. There was a 3rd workout I tried and failed at back then and it's still beyond my capabilities, but that's okay. I'm just not ever going to be a jogger, which is fine with me.