Day 358: Lessons



"Every year should teach you something valuable; whether you get the lesson is up to you. Every year brings you closer to expressing your whole and healed self." ~Oprah Winfrey~


I'm spending the rest of December reflecting on the year I've had. A lot of lessons have presented themselves and while I did "get" most of them I can also see that I still have a lot to learn. I was reminded of that today when I received a heartbreaking email from a friend who, unbeknownst to me, has been struggling to cope with the loss of her dad. On the outside you'd never have known how broken she was, because she hid it so well. Considering her dad passed over a year ago it never occurred to me that the pain could still be so fresh. Yet here I am still missing my dad and he's been gone almost 8 years. The lesson here is not to assume that anyone is okay just because they paste a smile on their face every day. The fact is, we're not all okay. We're broken, we're hurting and we're doing everything we can to hide it. I assumed my friend just didn't have time to bother with me, when in reality she was trying to hold herself and her extended family together. Like me, she withdrew into herself when life threw some pretty awful curve balls. I'm glad to know she is re-emerging but I feel bad that I wasn't really there for her when she really needed it. During one of my crises her husband leaned against the doorway of my home, arms crossed, and asked me a question. Three simple words. "How are you?". Those words have stuck with me and I'm just sorry I never asked his wife, my friend, that same question.

 Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 180 calorie cinnamon roll with peppermint bark coffee. After that I was out for the day. Mom and I shared a grilled cheese with bacon for lunch and dinner was some buffet selections like a slice of pizza, brussel sprouts, a hot dog, a scoop of General Tso's chicken, a scoop of chicken riggies, a small piece of chicken piccata and some fresh strawberries for dessert. I can't really put an accurate calorie count on it so I've recorded my calories as 1200 for the day. 

 As I mentioned, I was out for the day. Mom and I went to Turning Stone casino to use our December casino credits. My older sister and my brother in law met us out there and we had dinner at the buffet. I came home with a few extra dollars so it was a good day for me ! I used my casino credits to get a bottle of my favorite perfume (Inis) and a tube of Beekman 1802 hand lotion. 

 It's after 3 am and I'm off to bed. I made the mistake of watching the "Divergent" marathon on TNT and here I sit. "Insurgent" is on until 4:30 am and then "Allegiant" comes on until 7 am. As much as I hate to tear myself away from Theo James I need some sleep. Can I just say that being that handsome should be illegal !!

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