Day 357: Your Year
"If you want 2020 to be your year; Don't sit on the couch and wait for it. Go out. Make a change. Smile more. Be excited. Do new things. Throw away what you've been cluttering. Unfollow negative people on social media. Go to bed early. Wake up early. Be fierce. Don't gossip. Show more gratitude. Do things that challenge you. Be brave.
I'm spending the rest of December reflecting on the year I've had, but this morning I was thinking back to 2017, before the fire. A few weeks ago I came across a couple of old non-public blog posts I wrote back in April 2017. I was clearly deeply depressed and so unhappy with my life but I was trying to change that. I had bought some new clothes for the first time in many, many years and that made me happy. Ironically enough I mentioned my financial struggles in that blog too, and I was ready to start addressing that. Christmas was also mentioned but at the time I was still struggling to get some Christmas spirit. I was still living in the wreckage of my life and I guess maybe somebody was listening, because just over 3 months later the fire happened and my life finally began to change for the better. The 9 months I spent away from my house allowed me to be there for my mom during her very scary health struggles. Living in closer proximity to my family also allowed me to get the help I needed when I broke my wrist. I also experienced life a bit differently during that time. I was renting a clean well-maintained home instead of living in the wreckage of mine. The transformation of my home allowed me to finally focus on transforming other area's of my life. I was finally able to let go of the trauma of my abusive relationship and begin the healing process. Letting go of all of that hurt freed me to start making other changes but my weight was not the priority at that time. As always, I was still last on the list. It took those Christmas photo's a year and a half later to wake me up. Something clicked and I pushed everything else to the side and decided I had to do something about my weight. I think December 29, 2018 was the first time in my life that I put my own needs ahead of everything else. I did commit to improving my financial status too, but that was a secondary goal. 2019 was going to be all about me and for the most part it has been exactly that. I never hesitated over the money I've spent for Nutrisystem, though I did think about it a lot when I heard our center was closing and I might be out of a job. Fortunately for me that worked out and I was able to continue with the program.
Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 180 calorie cinnamon roll with peppermint bark coffee. Power Fuel was a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit toasted coconut vanilla yogurt with a cup of butter cookie coffee. I didn't have a morning snack or an afternoon snack. Lunch was a 3.7 ounce 200 calorie grilled chicken sandwich that I dressed with buffalo sauce and served with a chef salad. Dressing added 30 calories. Dinner was going to be a Nutrisystem entree but my shipment came today and my freezer is full, so I could not freeze the lasagna and artichokes I brought home yesterday. So I had the lasagna and some of the artichokes for dinner. I can't really assign an accurate calorie count to this meal. Evening snack was a 1.9 ounce 120 calorie tiramisu. Total countable calories for the day are 610 so I'm assigning the remaining 590 to my dinner. I got 64 ounces of water in today so I was happy about that.
I gave myself the latitude to pretty much eat what I wanted on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and I don't regret that decision. If I want long term success I can't deny myself everything for the rest of my life. At some point resentment would start building up and eventually I'd go off the plan and never go back. Today I was perfectly fine going back to eating per the Nutrisystem plan. It helps that I really do enjoy the food. When I was cooking for myself I was eating the same things every day and most of it was basically highly processed junk. Sure, I'm eating what you would consider processed food now but it is healthier and I add a lot of fresh or frozen vegetables. I also drink a lot of water, where I never did before. I also exercise more than I ever have. Once I reach my goal weight I will start cooking more of my own meals and slowly wean myself off the processed Nutrisystem foods.
I could easily have spent the entire day sitting on the couch watching tv. It was SO hard to motivate myself to get OFF the couch and get ON the treadmill, but I did ! After a 6 day hiatus I logged 3.2 miles, 64 minutes and 365 calories during 2 workouts today. This afternoon I did workout #2 in the Bolivia series with Hannah Eden. It was an intervals workout and I had trouble when the pace accelerated to 3.8 mph. It's just too fast for me so I had to hold on during the 2 minute interval at that speed. Later in the workout she expected you to maintain that pace for another 5 minutes. I knew I couldn't do it, I opted to lower the speed to 3.6 mph so I didn't have to hold on. As it is I could feel it in my hips when it came time for my second workout of the day. I chose an intervals workout with Jonnie Gale. The pace here was only 3.2 mph and there was no real incline so I was able to keep up without putting further stress on my hips. I plan to continue with the Bolivia series but I will have to swallow my pride and lower the speed at times. Hannah is quite tall and very athletic so it's likely very easy for her to "speed walk" at these speeds. I can do 3.8 mph for a minute or so but anything more than that is just too much for me.
Once I was off the couch to exercise I got a few other things done around the house. Laundry is complete and gift wrap supplies have been gathered and stored for next year. Since my Nutrisystem shipment came today I took inventory of what I had in the freezer before I packed the new items in there. I also portioned out the pan of stuffing into individual bags and froze that.
Tomorrow I'm off to Turning Stone with mom. We have a bunch of casino credits to use before the end of the month so we'll have a nice dinner there too. Time for me to head for a shower and bed !
Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 180 calorie cinnamon roll with peppermint bark coffee. Power Fuel was a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit toasted coconut vanilla yogurt with a cup of butter cookie coffee. I didn't have a morning snack or an afternoon snack. Lunch was a 3.7 ounce 200 calorie grilled chicken sandwich that I dressed with buffalo sauce and served with a chef salad. Dressing added 30 calories. Dinner was going to be a Nutrisystem entree but my shipment came today and my freezer is full, so I could not freeze the lasagna and artichokes I brought home yesterday. So I had the lasagna and some of the artichokes for dinner. I can't really assign an accurate calorie count to this meal. Evening snack was a 1.9 ounce 120 calorie tiramisu. Total countable calories for the day are 610 so I'm assigning the remaining 590 to my dinner. I got 64 ounces of water in today so I was happy about that.
I gave myself the latitude to pretty much eat what I wanted on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and I don't regret that decision. If I want long term success I can't deny myself everything for the rest of my life. At some point resentment would start building up and eventually I'd go off the plan and never go back. Today I was perfectly fine going back to eating per the Nutrisystem plan. It helps that I really do enjoy the food. When I was cooking for myself I was eating the same things every day and most of it was basically highly processed junk. Sure, I'm eating what you would consider processed food now but it is healthier and I add a lot of fresh or frozen vegetables. I also drink a lot of water, where I never did before. I also exercise more than I ever have. Once I reach my goal weight I will start cooking more of my own meals and slowly wean myself off the processed Nutrisystem foods.
I could easily have spent the entire day sitting on the couch watching tv. It was SO hard to motivate myself to get OFF the couch and get ON the treadmill, but I did ! After a 6 day hiatus I logged 3.2 miles, 64 minutes and 365 calories during 2 workouts today. This afternoon I did workout #2 in the Bolivia series with Hannah Eden. It was an intervals workout and I had trouble when the pace accelerated to 3.8 mph. It's just too fast for me so I had to hold on during the 2 minute interval at that speed. Later in the workout she expected you to maintain that pace for another 5 minutes. I knew I couldn't do it, I opted to lower the speed to 3.6 mph so I didn't have to hold on. As it is I could feel it in my hips when it came time for my second workout of the day. I chose an intervals workout with Jonnie Gale. The pace here was only 3.2 mph and there was no real incline so I was able to keep up without putting further stress on my hips. I plan to continue with the Bolivia series but I will have to swallow my pride and lower the speed at times. Hannah is quite tall and very athletic so it's likely very easy for her to "speed walk" at these speeds. I can do 3.8 mph for a minute or so but anything more than that is just too much for me.
Once I was off the couch to exercise I got a few other things done around the house. Laundry is complete and gift wrap supplies have been gathered and stored for next year. Since my Nutrisystem shipment came today I took inventory of what I had in the freezer before I packed the new items in there. I also portioned out the pan of stuffing into individual bags and froze that.
Tomorrow I'm off to Turning Stone with mom. We have a bunch of casino credits to use before the end of the month so we'll have a nice dinner there too. Time for me to head for a shower and bed !
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