Day 293: I Am

"Believe in yourself, push your limits, experience life, conquer your goals and be happy."

Sounds pretty easy, doesn't it ? It should be, but the reality is I didn't believe in myself for many years. I never pushed my limits because I was in survival mode for so long. So I didn't experience life, I endured it. I didn't have any goals, so there were none to conquer. And I certainly wasn't happy for a long time. The good news is that has all changed ! I DO believe in myself. I AM pushing my limits. I AM experiencing life and enjoying every minute of it. I AM conquering goals and I AM happy ! When I started Nutrisystem I was hoping for a miracle. I was hoping I'd finally be able to conquer my weight. That tiny spark of hope has turned into a flame that is burning bright. It's a fire that keeps me motivated and moving forward. When I made the decision to try Nutrisystem I didn't think about what life would be like once I lost the weight. I really don't think I expected to have the success I've had. I've been heavy as long as I can remember, so being "thin" was something I couldn't really visualize. I'm not striving to be "thin". I just don't want to be considered overweight, and I have a ways to go yet before I get there. My BMI used to be in the Morbidly Obese range. Today I'm in the Obese range but I'm closing in on being considered "overweight". My ultimate goal is a normal BMI and at that point I will be satisfied with my weight. Obese is such an ugly word and I hate seeing it applied to me or anyone else. There is too much emphasis on statistical labels these days. Does anyone really think telling someone they're Morbidly Obese has any impact ? Do you really think they don't already know that ? I don't focus on these labels and I don't obsess about my BMI. I used the chart to give me a goal weight because you need to have something to work towards. That's all the power I gave to that statistic. As I get closer to my goal I'll reassess where I am and go from there.

Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 180 calorie cinnamon roll with what else, cinnamon roll coffee ! Second cup for the road was hazelnut. Power Fuel was 100 calorie string cheese. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 4.25 ounce 200 calorie turkey pot pie melt with raw carrots. Afternoon snack was 2.5 cups of Skinny Pop popcorn (100 calories) and a 5.3 ounce Light & Fit strawberry cheesecake yogurt. This left 385 calories for dinner and an evening snack. Dinner was an 8.5 ounce 250 calorie chicken and vegetable stir fry with steamed broccoli. Evening snack was a 1.6 ounce 130 calorie red velvet cupcake. Total calories for the day are 1195 and I got 64 ounces of water in.

I was thinking about life after Nutrisystem today because a few people in the Facebook group have recently reached their goal weight and said goodbye to Nutrisystem products. I have mixed feelings about that because I really like quite a lot of  the food. I do want to eat less processed food, so my plan is to cook up some of my own individual meals for the freezer, using the Nutrisystem guidelines for portion and protein/fiber content. I have a better handle on appropriate portions, so that is going to be the key to success when it comes to going it alone. We'll see how that goes as I've never been fond of cooking. I suspect I will continue to eat some of the Nutrisystem products for years to come, so I'm not going to back myself into a corner and say I'm going to "eat clean" all the time. For me that would just be adding a source of stress and fear of failure.

Today was an office day so by the time I got home, fed the cats, got in a workout, fed myself and got things ready for tomorrow's lunch it was 7:30. So I didn't have much of a relaxing evening ! Tonight's workout was from a new Alaska hiking series. Scenery was lush and green and we learned a bit about the gold rush there. This workout was an endurance hike, so the speed was a steady 3 mph unless the incline was super steep, then it dropped back to 2.6 or 2.7 mph. It lasted about 33 minutes and had plenty of incline. It definitely challenged me but in a good way ! I'm trying to alternate between endurance, intervals and incline so that I don't get bored with the workouts.

In exciting news, they're starting my new driveway tomorrow ! It's long overdue so I can't wait until it's done !  I didn't get much sleep last night thanks to that cup of coffee I had after dinner, so tonight will be an early night. I guess there will be no coffee on Tuesday and Wednesday nights ! Time for a shower and my warm cozy bed !