Day 174: It'll Be Okay

"Sometimes you just have to remind yourself that it'll all be okay, maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but one day. Say it enough that one day you'll actually believe it. Remind yourself that things have changed, it changed for a reason, people change for a reason. You just have to let go and move on. It's going to be hard and you're going to feel lonely but just hold on, because who's to say tomorrow won't be the best day of your life ?"

Emotions ran high today and many tears were shed for those who departed the office. The next 2 days are going to be incredibly difficult for all. I'm not looking forward to coming back from vacation on July 8 to find an empty office .. one that used to bustle with well over 100 top-notch employees. Local employers are going to experience a bonanza of amazing potential employees and I hope everyone who wants or needs to continue working is able to find a job that they love and that supports their lifestyle. Things like this only inspire and motivate me to continue on the path I set for myself back in December. The path to lose the weight, the path to lose the baggage of the past, the path to financial fitness, the path to career changes. I feel like all of these things are on track and I'm pretty grateful for all the blessings in my life.

While I was getting ready for work this morning the birds were chirping away outside the bathroom window and I was thinking how different my life is today. I still remember the days when I had nothing to feel good about. Prior to the fire I might have had some clinical depression going on but whatever it was, that black cloud has lifted. Losing weight and exercising has a good deal to do with my well being. I think exercise really does release those "feel good" endorphins and losing 70 pounds has made me feel better physically. I also feel better about the way I look. I still have a lot of weight to lose so the journey is nowhere near over, but I've got a good start and I have great hope for the future. 

Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 160 calorie cherry cheese roll with caramel vanilla cream coffee. Second cup was French vanilla. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. The Fresh Start shakes from Nutrisystem are pretty expensive ($80 for a 28 day supply) but I really like them and I feel like they are helping. They just had a rare 40% off sale so I bought 5 of them. I shouldn't have to buy them again until November or December. Lunch was a 4 ounce 220 calorie chicken fajita melt with salsa and raw carrots. Afternoon snack was 1/2 cup of cottage cheese and a 0.65 ounce bag of Skinny Pop popcorn. This left 485 calories for dinner and an evening snack. Dinner was a 9.5 ounce 260 calorie roasted turkey medallions with mashed potatoes and gravy. I also had a big bowl of steamed broccoli with a sprinkle of ranch seasoning. Evening snack was a 2.2 ounce 140 calorie lemon zest cake. This is one of my favorite desserts ! It's like a tiny lemon bundt cake with icing. Total calories for the day are 1115 and I got all 64 ounces of water in.

Last night the workout seemed pretty effortless but tonight was a different story. To be honest, I really did not want to workout tonight. I forced myself off the couch and onto the treadmill and spent the whole 42 minutes having an internal dialogue. Something along the lines of I can't do it followed by reaching the first quarter mark .. and then some more "I can't do it". Occasionally the trainer would catch my attention and I'd listen to him and watch the scenery and the time would pass without needing the internal dialogue to keep me moving. The 3 minute warm up and the 3 minute cool down are fine .. it's the 36 minutes in between that get me ! It's a bit warmer now so I need to put the fan on a higher setting in that room while I'm working out. I think being a little cooler might help. Needless to say I got the workout done and as always I felt great afterwards. 

Weather today was pretty nice. Sunshine and scattered clouds and it was up in the 80's. We didn't get any rain but it seems like folks north and south of Syracuse did. Looks like tomorrow is going to be nice as well. Could it be that summer is actually here ???? I sure hope so !

Next up is a warm shower and my comfy bed. I am tired so I don't think I'll have any trouble sleeping tonight !