Day 159: Take Another Shot

"Life is like a camera.... Focus on what's important, Capture the good times, Develop from the negatives, And if things don't work out, Take another shot."

This is exactly how I try to live my life now. What's important to me right now is losing weight. Being able to get back to exercise last night really gave my spirits a boost, because I was afraid the hip issue was going to linger. If I was already at my goal weight a couple of days without exercise wouldn't concern me, but I'm nowhere near my goal and exercise is critical to my success. So I'm glad to be past this latest bump in the road ! I guess life would be boring if every day was the same. Having to deal with my hip pain gave me a minute to think about other things I can do. I really need to start working on strengthening my muscles and the 5 pound weights I have really aren't going to do the trick. So it's about time to invest in that inexpensive weight bench I saw at Walmart. I may also pick up some 8 and 10 pound weights. I have a lot of loose skin on my upper arms (bat wings!) and building some muscle will help mitigate that. So there is a lot I can do that doesn't involve the treadmill and strengthening my back and leg muscles is important too. I tend to get laser focused on one thing, so maybe these little bumps are someone's way of forcing me to look at other alternatives ? I still try to look for good things every day. For example, how my clothes fit. When I bought new jeans a few weeks back the black jeans fit perfectly but the blue denim were pretty tight, even though they were the same size. I bought them anyway because I knew I would be "growing into" them ! Today those tight jeans are getting baggy and I will soon need to purchase new ones yet again. I will only buy 5 pairs so I have one for each day of the week, since I don't plan to wear them forever. I'll be straying into sizes I haven't worn since I was a teenager ! I still think some manufacturers have increased the base measurements used to make clothing in order to accommodate the expanding waistlines of Americans without pushing them up a size. Why do I think this ? Because I have clothing that is 20+ years old marked with larger sizes than what I'm wearing today .... and a lot of the old stuff doesn't fit ! I still weigh a good deal more than I did in 1996 so I would not expect the old clothing to fit just yet .. so those sizes vs. what I am wearing now puzzle me. Every day I have an "aha" moment or two as I acclimate to my shrinking size. I don't put them all here but they're little differences I notice that really make me happy and further motivate me to continue.

Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce cherry cheese roll with Green Mountain Breakfast Blend coffee. Second cup was triple chocolate. Morning snack was a 155 calorie chocolate shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 4 ounce 220 calorie chicken fajita melt with salsa and raw carrots. Afternoon snack was 1/2 cup cottage cheese (80 calories) and a snack cup of mandarin oranges (80 calories). This left me 505 calories for dinner and an evening snack. Dinner was my favorite entree, 9.5 ounce 260 calorie roast turkey medallions with mashed potatoes and gravy. I had the rest of the riced broccoli with it. Evening snack was a 3.5 ounce 130 calorie ice cream sandwich. Calories for the day are 1087 and I got the full 64 ounces of water in today. If and when I start working from home I'm going to try harder to get my water intake up to 96 ounces.

We're down to 13 working days until our center closes. Every day it inches closer and it makes me so sad. My office feels so bare, because I got rid of everything I don't need and brought the majority of my personal items home. Some folks can't wait for that last day to get here because it's so stressful. Putting on the happy face with customers every day is hard when you know you're losing your job. I just hope this turns out to be a blessing for each and every one of them. I also hope things work out for me and I'm able to work from home. Getting back hours of time every day and not having the expense of fuel and parking will be like getting a raise ! Right now I leave the house around 6:20 am, even though my "official" start time is 8 am. I do this because the traffic is lighter, parking is easier and I like to have my coffee at my desk. I won't miss the long commute ! I will miss the social aspect of working in a large office. I work with some really great people and I will miss them. I think the last few days are going to be quite emotional, so I'm trying to get myself ready for that. I'll be on vacation the week after closure and I think that will give me a chance to really accept things.

I was able to get my workout in but it didn't seem as effortless as it did last night. I was pretty darn comfortable on the couch so it was hard to kick myself off it to get on the treadmill ! I am really happy with the progress I'm making but I'll be honest with you, it would be so easy to revert back to my old ways. Some days I am tired and really don't want to work out but I know it's necessary. Some days I just want to sit down and eat a meal like I used to, but I know I can't do that either. All that food I loved was killing me - I have to keep telling myself that. It's strawberry season right now and my absolute favorite dessert is strawberry shortcake. I won't be having it this year but if I'm at my goal weight this time next year I may just have it .. once ! I won't have it every day for a month and I won't have a gigantic bowl with a mountain of whipped cream. I'll have a sensible portion. So that is something to look forward to. I also keep telling myself I can do this for another year or as long as it takes to get to a good weight. I'll reach the 6 month mark in a couple of weeks and the time seems to have flown by. I've come a long way in a short time !

After a beautiful weekend our weather returned to gray, wet and chilly. I put the heat back on in the downstairs this morning because I didn't want the house to get damp. It was barely 50 degrees when I woke up. Not terribly cold but not exactly summer weather either ! The clouds cleared in the afternoon and the sun came out but the temp only made it up to about 70 and it was pretty windy all day. Tomorrow is supposed to be nicer but the rain returns on Thursday. I'm wondering if this is how the whole summer is going to go ? I'm on vacation 4th of July week and I'm really hoping it's nice enough to have a pool day !

Time for a hot shower and my warm cozy bed. I'm tired !