Day 155: True Happiness

"As you get older you find out that true happiness is not in how much you make or how many degrees you have or how big your house is or how fancy your car is. It's finding peace and joy and calmness in your life that will soon become the most important thing to you. Your family is what matters to you, love is what matters to you; things that are of quality, not quantity."

Happiness was on my mind this morning and this quote embodies what I was thinking. For so many years I thought I would never be happy again. I thought I would never feel again. I felt like I had nothing and that no one cared. I don't know that I'll ever forget the broken empty person I was and maybe that's a good thing. Today I do feel again and some days the happiness I feel just overflows. Today is one of those days. It's Friday, the end of the work week. The sun is shining and the sky is clear and blue. It's going to be a beautiful day. A far cry from a couple of years ago when just getting out of bed in the morning felt impossible. For a long time my bedroom was my refuge, really the only place I felt safe. Now it's just where I sleep because I don't need that refuge any more. Today I know that people do love and care about me. I feel like I am truly happy. Life has calmed down considerably and I feel like all of the bugs with the house have been worked out. That was a big source of stress this past winter and I'm hopeful it is behind me. 

Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 180 calorie cinnamon roll with caramel vanilla cream coffee. Second cup was toasted coconut. Morning snack was a 155 calorie chocolate shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 4 ounce 200 calorie turkey pot pie melt with raw carrots. Afternoon snack was 3/4 cup yogurt (90 calories) and a snack cup of mandarin oranges (80 calories). This left 493 calories for dinner and an evening snack. Dinner was a 10 ounce 260 calorie chicken enchilada with brussel sprouts. Evening snack was a 1.8 ounce 150 calorie chocolate cupcake. Calories for the day are 1117 and I got all 64 ounces of water in !

Tomorrow is my mom's birthday so some of the family is trekking out to Del Lago casino for a day of gambling and maybe a side trip to the Waterloo outlets ! Nothing better than casino's and shopping ! Full disclosure - I have strayed from my decision to not spend any money in casino's this year. I guess this is a good example of an unreasonable goal. The good news is I don't go very often and I don't spend anywhere near what I used to. Weather is supposed to be beautiful tomorrow too, so I think it'll be a great day !

With only 3 weeks until the office closes (and vacation starts !) I've started cleaning out my desk and bringing personal items home. I don't have a lot of "stuff" because we had a bed bug infestation last summer so I got rid of everything I possibly could back then. Thankfully there have been no further signs of the little critters since ! I've worked in this office since the building was built in 1991 and it's hard to believe it's been 28 years ! At one time we filled the 3rd and 4th floors and a separate space on the first floor. Today we don't even fill half of the 4th floor and soon we won't be here at all. It's very sad for most of us. Life will go on though, and I'm hopeful it will turn out to be a positive experience for all. I'm glad I spent the money to get a nice comfy chair and a spacious desk for my home office. Working from home again is like a dream come true for me, so I hope it works out that way.

Weather was perfect today ! Blue skies and sunshine all day long and it was a sunroof open evening commute ! I still have the heat on in the house as nights are still a bit cool. Losing some of my "natural insulation" means I tend to get chilled more easily ! I got my workout in tonight but it was one heck of a fight to first get off the couch and then actually make it to the end. I honestly did not think I could do it, but I did. Pretty proud of that ! Next up is a hot shower and my comfy bed.