Day 151: Accepting Change

"Life is not about looking back and wishing that today will be the same as the past. Life is about moving on, accepting change and looking forward to what makes you stronger and more complete, because it's never been too late to have a life and never too late to change one."

The next 20 working days will be the hardest of my career as we count down to the closure of our office. Life is going to change for all of us. Some will happily embark on retirement. Some will take the time to enjoy the summer and then think about what is next. Some will move to Florida and continue their employment. Some may jump right in to finding new employment. Some will continue with the company right here. No matter what we do it will mean change and that can be hard. My only hope is that everyone finds their way to something that makes them happy. I've already accepted that my life is going to change and I firmly believe that, for me, it's going to be a change for the better. At the end of 2018 I decided that 2019 was going to be my year. At the time, I had no idea our office would be closing so I'm glad I made some life changing decisions before that news came. January was very difficult but acceptance came with time. Perhaps I was led in this direction for a reason. Don't forget, I've always believed things happen for a reason ! So 2019 is still going to be my year. It really is never too late to have a life or to change your life ! My life has changed considerably in the past couple of years. Resolution of so many other issues made this latest change much easier to accept.

Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 160 calorie cherry cheese roll with Green Mountain Breakfast Blend coffee. 2nd cup was triple chocolate. Morning snack was a 155 calorie chocolate shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 4 ounce 220 calorie chicken fajita melt with salsa. I forgot my carrots so no veggie for me today ! To keep the afternoon hungries away I had my breakfast Power Fuel, which was 100 calorie string cheese. I've been skipping this item for a while but I still carry it with me just in case I am hungry ! Afternoon snack was 3/4 cup yogurt (90 calories) and a snack cup of mandarin oranges (80 calories). I got my first 32 ounces of water in by noon and finished the second 32 ounces before I came home ! Dinner was a 7.5 ounce 230 calorie chicken marsala. I mixed in the leftover riced cauliflower from yesterday. I've given up the roasted garlic riced cauliflower due to the sodium, so in order to eat the plain variety I have to mix it in to something. Not a cauliflower fan but I'm trying to embrace the riced version. Evening snack was a 1,8 ounce 140 calorie butterscotch cake. This put my calories at 1177. Got a total of 96 ounces of water in today, which is great !

As my weight decreases I'm taking a lot more pictures of myself. Seeing my progress motivates me to keep working hard. I've talked about body image before and sometimes I still don't believe what I see in the mirror. So the pictures help with that too. It all goes back to not realizing just how big I had gotten. What I saw in the mirror was not the same as what I saw in those Christmas photos that shocked me into action. So being able to look at a progression of photos now helps me believe what I am seeing. It also reminds me that the journey has just begun and there is still a long way to go. I could sit back and be happy where I am now ... but I think I will be happier reaching (and exceeding) the goal I set. To be perfectly honest, reaching my goal weight will be the biggest achievement of my life. I have to work hard for something in order to call it an achievement and I'm working hard for this. I do have other goals in life that I'm working towards, but weight loss is most important right now.

Today I noticed I have a lot more energy ! Coming home and cleaning up after the cats, feeding them, gathering and putting out the trash and then feeding myself used to be such a chore because all I wanted to do was hop on the couch, especially on a Monday night. But tonight I did all that in record time, gathered up some extra trash from the garage and then got everything ready for tomorrow morning while my dinner was heating. I also stopped for gas on the way home so I got home later than usual. After all that I got my workout in to start the week off right ! I've said it before but it bears repeating: as your weight creeps up you don't realize the impact it is having on your life. You make subtle changes to your routine to compensate and before you know it you and your weight are out of control.

It was 43 degrees when I woke up this morning but the sun was shining. I put the heat back on last night so at least the house was warm ! With the thermostats fixed, I don't need the space heater in the laundry room anymore either. This will be a huge savings next winter because natural gas is a whole lot cheaper than electricity ! The sun disappeared around 9 am but by late afternoon the clouds were gone and we had blue skies and sunshine. We are going to pay for the clear skies - the low for tonight is 41 ! Will the warm weather ever get here ?! I'm so ready for 90 degrees ! I guess I'll just settle for a hot shower and my warm comfy bed.