Day 112: Smile
“If you smile through your fear and sorrow, smile and maybe tomorrow you’ll see the sun shining through for you.” ~Nat King Cole~
A perfect sentiment for this bright and sunny day ! During the dark moments of life I know how hard it is to believe the sun will ever shine again, but it usually does. Today’s sun came with a price though … it was 30 degrees when I left for work this morning !!! WT actual F !! I guess I should be grateful it wasn’t snowing .. although snow showers are in the forecast for this weekend ! O M G !!!! Despite the cold I was happy to see the sun again. 112 days into Nutrisystem, down nearly 50 pounds, wearing jeans 2 sizes smaller and feeling amazing … what more could I ask for ? Last night I actually ordered a hoodie in the smallest size the website offered .. it’s a duplicate of one I just bought and I like it so much I want to be able to continue wearing it once the one I have is too big ! I have NEVER ordered a size 14/16 of anything for myself so that was a big leap of faith. My finger hesitated over the submit button for a long time, because there is always that little bit of doubt. The optimist and the pessimist inside my head had a little argument and the optimist won ! I also ordered 4 pairs of jeans because they were on sale for $25 ! So very soon I’ll be able to retire my baggy jeans and wear some that fit properly. Something to look forward to … buying clothes that don’t have an X in the size and don’t start with a 2 !! Let’s face it .. I’ll never be an XS or XXS but I can get past needing an XL or larger or a size 20+ ! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to buy some item of clothing but the sizes only went up to XL. I’ve never been one to go shopping for clothes very often so hopefully I won’t become a clothes horse. One thing I really love about the Boscov’s store in New Hartford is their clothing line by Rafaella. They have styles in the regular and plus sizes … so I can buy things as nice as those my fit and trim older sister buys ! I would like to think that one day we’ll be able to shop in the same department .. although she is more of a petite (5’2”) and I’m an average (5’6”). That would be a first ! So today the sun is shining for me in every sense of the word. I know that isn’t true for everyone but I can’t change that and I can’t feel guilty about being happy.
Breakfast was a rerun of yesterday … a 2.1 ounce 160 calorie cherry cheese roll with hazelnut coffee. 2nd cup was vanilla caramel cream. I don’t know what it is but I enjoy my coffee so much more these days. It just tastes so good. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder, which I didn’t have until after lunch. Lunch was a 4 ounce 230 calorie meatball parmesan melt. Afternoon snack was the usual Sargento Balanced Breaks but today’s variety only had 170 calories vs the usual 180. Dinner was a 210 calorie 5 ounce broccoli and cheese stuffed chicken breast, which was delicious ! I had some broccoli with it. Since my calories were only at 927 (I skipped my breakfast power fuel) I was able to have another 3.4 ounce 190 calorie chocolate brownie sundae for my evening snack ! Mmm Mmm Good ! Total calories for the day are 1117.
I was at work super early today so I took a new profile picture. For the first time in years I’m happy with what I see. I also discovered the Instagram app takes much nicer pictures than Android. Not sure why that is .. since it’s the same camera. Must be the Instagram interface is better than the stock Android one. Today I took a look through the photos on my phone, starting with the ones that were taken on Christmas. Painful. Horrifying. Shameful. I also looked at a couple I took on January 1st. Same feelings – painful, horrifying, shameful. February 10th … struggled to see a difference. I still have a long way to go but the full length photos I took on Easter are really the first time I felt good about the way I look. The pain wasn’t there. Nor was the horror. Shame was replaced with pride. Back in 2017, after the fire, I had started trying to lose weight and was doing good until I broke my wrist. I never really got back on track after that and once I moved back into my house I was busy settling things and I didn’t have a treadmill for a few months. During that time my eating habits reverted back to junk and my addiction to sweets fired up again. So anything I had lost was gained back, along with some extra pounds for good measure ! So these past 112 days I’ve lost those pounds again, along with some extra pounds for good measure !! LOL ! Today my clothing is 3 sizes smaller than it was in August 2017. I don’t know what size I’ll end up .. because I’ve been heavy as long as I can remember. It’s going to be a fun journey !
Got my workout in tonight but about 16 minutes in I really wanted to stop ! I pushed past that and was done before I knew it. I’m glad tomorrow is Friday. I’m already thinking about being able to sleep in on Saturday ! Speaking of which, time for a hot shower and a warm comfy bed !
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