Day 106: Be Thankful

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” ~Oprah Winfrey~

I’ve never been a huge Oprah fan but if she actually said this I have to say I completely agree with her. Since the fire I have been grateful for everything I have. I can’t say I felt that way before the fire. Before the fire I was consumed by everything I didn’t have. Life was a 24/7 pity party although I pasted a smile on my face every day. Looking back, I’d say I was depressed and had pretty much decided my life was never going to get better. Today is a good day to reflect on that, being that it’s Good Friday. Was there some divine intervention ? Did someone see my need and decide I was worthy of a second chance ? I don’t know .. but whatever it was I am eternally grateful and I think the whole experience has made me a better person. I’m not perfect and if your opinion of me before the fire was negative it probably still is. I’m ok with that though, because I am happy and I’ll never let anyone take that away from me. Whether you observe Easter or not, I hope you take a moment today to be grateful for what you have, whether it be family, friends or things. I’m personally grateful for my family, who was there to help me pick up the pieces when I was ready to accept help and continue to offer their support as I work on my weight. I’m grateful for my friends far and wide who have been incredibly supportive as I’ve rebuilt my life and embarked on a quest to lose weight and get healthy. I’m grateful to have a job, home and car that I love. There’s nothing I need anymore. Funny story – my sister has a nice Michael Kors bag that I liked, so the last time I went shopping I looked at some MK bags. I didn’t find them to be anything more spectacular than the Walmart bag I currently carry, unless you consider the ridiculous price tags. $20 in materials and a $300 price tag ? When I pick up a Coach bag I can feel the luxury … not so with the MK’s I looked at. Needless to say I’m over it. I don’t need “things” to make me happy anymore. Yes, I did spend some money on a tennis bracelet at the casino jewelry store recently but I try to buy myself something nice with part of my annual bonus. I work hard all year so I acknowledge that with a gift to myself. For many years that extra cash was desperately needed and always went towards bills, so trust me – I don’t have a jewelry box full of bling ! I’m happy that I’m focusing on me and getting my weight down. I’m happy to be embracing exercise and an overall healthier lifestyle.

Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 180 calorie cinnamon roll with vanilla caramel cream coffee. 2nd cup was French vanilla today. Breakfast power fuel was an 80 calorie Sargento colby jack cheese stick. Lunch was a 4 ounce 200 calorie turkey pot pie melt with raw carrots. I skipped the morning snack so I had a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder in between lunch and afternoon snack. Afternoon snack was a Sargento Balanced Breaks. I had 403 calories left for dinner and an evening snack because I paired a lower calorie lunch item with a higher calorie breakfast item ! Glad I did that as I went to my mom’s for pizza night again ! I had 2 small strips of pizza and counted it as 300 calories. My evening snack was a 3.4 ounce 100 calorie frozen chocolate fudge bar. My calories for the day are at 1197 so I just made it !

Despite the temptations that will be in front of me, I’m looking forward to Easter dinner because it means being with all of my family. I will indulge in a glass of wine but otherwise stick pretty close to Nutrisystem’s guidelines, so I’m not worried about the food aspect of the holiday. I will have breakfast and my morning snack at home and combine my lunch, afternoon snack and dinner while I’m out. That gives me 4 Power Fuels and 3 Smart Carbs to work with. I also plan to bring my own salad dressing and a Nutrisystem dessert. So I can have some ham, a tiny piece of lasagna, veggies and salad. I’m making deviled eggs to bring so I will probably have one of those too. If I get up super early Sunday and need to have lunch at home I’ll still have 3 Power Fuels and 2 Smart Carbs for a combined afternoon snack and dinner.

No blue skies and sunshine to enjoy today but it was 62 degrees when I got up and hit the 70’s before lunch, so I’ll take it ! It was a relatively peaceful work day as our office was technically closed, so there was only a few managers around. The atmosphere was a preview of what it will be like when everyone leaves at the end of June .. pretty sad and empty. I put my headphones on and listened to music all day but I was glad when 5 pm rolled around. As I mentioned above, I went to my mom’s for pizza tonight. My brother makes the pizza and it was delicious. It’s homemade so it wasn’t dripping in grease. Although I enjoyed the evening, the drive home was not fun. It was raining pretty hard the entire way so I stuck to the right lane on the highway and kept my speed down since there was a lot of water on the road and visibility was pretty bad. The worst part of the ride is the stretch between Parish and Mexico - the road is SO dark ! Needless to say me and MZMAYHEM made it home safely. She is drip drying in her garage and I’m comfy on the couch. I wanted to exercise tonight but I’m really just too tired. To be honest, the drive home was stressful and exhausting. I don’t like dark rainy nights in the car !