Day 60: The Vehicle For My Soul

“My body is a work in progress. It is the vehicle for my soul. It is as beautiful today as it was yesterday, and will be tomorrow.”

I don’t know who wrote that quote but I can tell you that body image is so important. For most of my life I’ve judged myself based on what I see in the mirror and I’ve allowed others to judge me the same way. Why do we do that ? Why do we judge people based on looks alone ? It’s so sad because there are so many amazing people out there that no one ever gives a chance because they don’t conform to society’s definition of a worthy person. Sad to say a lot of the people that DO live up to those definitions are not worthy of the opportunities their looks afford them. I know a lot of amazing women who don’t have movie star looks or fashion model bodies. Of course, hating on someone because they are beautiful is just as bad as hating on someone who is not. Why can’t we just accept people as they are and spend time getting to know what’s on the inside before we pass judgement ? Women are 100% judged based on looks in our society and that is sad. At this point in my life I could care less what anyone else thinks, but I would like to love my body more than I do today. My only concern is what *I* think about myself right now. It may sound selfish but I’ve spent most of my life putting everyone else’s needs ahead of my own. This is my time and I’m putting all of my energy into improving myself for ME. I won’t apologize for that. I’ve only lost 34.8 pounds and there are many, many more to go – so I’m not seeing any dramatic changes yet. I still don’t like what I see in the mirror but instead of avoiding the mirror I’m committed to working on improving what I see in it. I stand there and squint at myself in the mirror, trying to see the difference. I do feel it in my clothes and I see some subtle changes so I’m encouraged. Will I ever be 100% happy with what I see ? Probably not .. but the day I can say “Damn, I look good!” will be enough.

Today marks 2 months on Nutrisystem ! I can honestly say it has been effortless ! I wasn’t sure what to expect when I signed up but I am so glad I did. I’ve tweaked the program several times to make it work the best for me and that’s the beauty of Nutrisystem – the ability to customize the program to fit your tastes, your needs and your lifestyle. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I feel so much better physically and mentally. I have more energy than I’ve ever had and I actually look forward to exercise ! I couldn’t wait to get home tonight and jump on the treadmill. If you’ve been following this journey you know I struggled to incorporate exercise. I knew that once I did it I would be fine but geez, I don’t know why it was so hard to do. Maybe just a lack of confidence. I’ve also come to the conclusion that I need to take some steps to tighten up my abdominal muscles so I’m exploring beginner exercises to target that area. The beauty of the internet is there are plenty of free resources available !

Breakfast today was a 3.8 ounce 90 calorie turkey ham and cheese omelet with Green Mountain Breakfast Blend coffee. The omelet packaging advises you to have it with a serving of fruit, so I had ½ cup of pineapple. It was chilly in the office so I also had a second cup of coffee, French vanilla. Almost missed the morning snack but I was able to sneak in a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Missed out on the Smart Carb but there’s a method to my madness. Lunch was a 4.3 ounce 240 calorie southwest fiesta melt. This is a vegetarian offering, basically a hot pocket with brown rice, black beans, corn and cheese. This item would be better with a little bit of fat free sour cream and some salsa ! I also had the usual raw carrots. My lunch Power Fuel was ½ cup plain yogurt (60 calories) so I grabbed that Smart Carb leftover from my morning snack and used it to add 2 tablespoons of granola to the yogurt ! I don’t know if you’ve eaten plain unsweetened fat free Greek yogurt but it’s not very good. I need to buy some more small plastic containers so that I can prep all of my breakfast, lunch and snack items on Sunday’s for the week ahead. I do that now with the carrots using snack size Ziploc bags. Grab and go is definitely the way to go ! My afternoon snack was some Good Thins crackers (120) calories and 2 string cheese (100 calories). Dinner tonight was a 10 ounce 260 calorie chicken alfredo. This is one of the shelf stable entrees and although it tastes pretty good it has 590 mg of sodium .. which is an awful lot ! This is another good reason to ditch the shelf stable products and go strictly frozen. My evening snack is going to be a 1.8 ounce 170 calorie cinnamon coffee cake. This puts my calories at 1243 for the day, well within the 1200 to 1400 range I’m supposed to be in.

We were lucky enough to pretty much dodge the massive storm that impacted the east coast yesterday but my heart is broken for the people who lost their lives or homes in Alabama. Nothing I’ve experienced even comes close to what those folks are dealing with in the aftermath of the storm and the tornados it brought. We may get a lot of snow and cold weather here in Upstate NY but we do not get the destructive weather many other parts of the country experience. Hopefully this terrible weather pattern will end soon. I don’t recall a winter like this before – storm after storm has tracked across the entire country. It can’t end soon enough for me ! It was about 20 degrees when I left for work this morning and the roads were clear thanks to our amazing state and local DOT workers ! The temperature didn’t really move all day and we’re at 18 now ! Had flurries on and off and some heavier snow showers on the way home but nothing major. It was still light out when I got home so that makes the visibility much better !