Day 55: Choices vs. Decisions

“Choice determines direction … Decision determines destiny.”

On this 5 degree morning I was treated to a beautiful sunrise as I passed over Oneida Lake on the way to work. That blazing ball of fire was just above the horizon as I went over the bridge. It’s cloudy so the sun was only there for a moment. It would have made a spectacular photo but they frown on stopping on highway bridges .. LOL ! Even before I got on the highway I could see a brilliant pink sky over the tree line. It was incredibly beautiful too but remember the old rhyme .. red sky at night, sailors delight; red sky in the morning, sailors take warning. So that beautiful sky was a warning of things to come. Snow moved in and the drive home was not so beautiful ! My 40 minute commute took 105 minutes but I made it home safe. Regardless, considering yesterday’s note theme was shining bright I’d like to think the beautiful morning was an affirmation of my resolve to shine bright no matter what.

Today I was thinking about choices and decisions I’ve made in my life. Isn’t a choice the same as a decision ? I wasn’t really sure so I did a little reading and found they really are different. A choice indicates you are free to choose the path you want to take, with no limits. A decision typically means you have a finite set of options in front of you and must choose one of them. I feel pretty fortunate to be able to sit back now and reflect on the past 20 or so years and come to terms with what I did right and what I did wrong. I made a lot of good choices and decisions but I also made a good deal of bad ones. I’ve referred to my “decision” to pursue weight loss via Nutrisystem and I guess that’s accurate since there aren’t many programs with the structure and convenience of Nutrisystem, so it was a matter of comparing available plans (ie Jenny Craig vs Nutrisystem) and deciding which one would work best for me. I feel like Nutrisystem was the best decision for me ! Not really having to “cook” makes a world of difference ! The “choice” I made was to invest in myself, lose weight and get healthier and that was a good choice ! So we all have choices and it’s up to us to make the right ones. We’re also human so we’re going to make mistakes and some of those choices will turn out to be bad ones. I am the poster child for that ! The key is to learn from those bad choices and try not to repeat them. Decisions are different though. If you have a decision to make it means you have limited options and have to have faith that the decision you make turns out to the best one for you. So ask questions and then listen ! Some of my bad decisions could have been avoided if I had done that. Nothing is foolproof though .. so we’re going to make bad decisions despite our best efforts. Again, learn from them and try not to repeat them. This is what I tell myself every day now. I’ve let the past go and turned my focus to writing a better story for me. I’m trying my best to live a life of positivity instead of dwelling on the negativity of the past. It’s not easy because life has its ups and downs and sometimes it’s a struggle to be positive. The good news is life has more ups than downs and I’m finding it easier to bounce back from the downs these days !

Breakfast today was a 4.4 ounce 180 calorie turkey sausage and egg muffin. I had triple chocolate coffee with it. I could smell the hint of chocolate in the coffee but I still can’t really taste anything. Considering the breakfast sandwich I had is pretty tasteless I guess that was a good thing ! I’m building a list of things I need to buy in order to jazz up some of the Nutrisystem products. A low fat, low sodium cheese is on the list. Later in the morning I had 2 string cheese (100 calories) which counts as my breakfast Power Fuel. My morning snack was a 155 calorie chocolate shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 4.3 ounce 240 calorie southwest fiesta melt and some raw carrots. If carrots help your vision mine should be 20/20 any day now ! I never had an afternoon snack and dinner was a 7.5 ounce 220 calorie chicken fettucine alfredo. I added some cooked broccoli and romano cheese. Tasted like nothing ... I really hope my taste comes back soon. I’m only at 977 calories for the day so I will definitely have a snack before bed.

I’ve been slacking on water and veggies for the past week so I need to put some more effort into that, especially the water. I’ve done some reading on high protein diets and it seems drinking a lot of water is pretty important. One article I read stated the following:

“When athletes consume more protein without increasing water or other fluid intake, their BUN -- or blood urea nitrogen level, which measures kidney function -- rises, Janice Palmer explains in the University of Connecticut's April 29, 2002, issue of "Advance." This occurs because of the extra stress placed on the kidney while eliminating the breakdown by-products of protein, which isn't used as efficiently by your body as carbohydrate for energy. High protein intake causes the kidneys to produce more concentrated urine, a sign of dehydration caused by the extra fluid needed to eliminate the waste products.”

So when I don’t drink enough water I’m stressing my kidneys and making them work harder than necessary. I think this also explains why I’ve felt thirstier than usual. I blamed it on sodium and then on the cold meds .. but it’s really my own fault for not drinking enough. The water bottle should have a picture of a happy kidney on it ! It sounds like our diets are carb heavy because our bodies are designed to run on them, but there are good carbs and bad carbs and it’s the bad carbs that pile on the pounds. It’s all about balance. Get your carbs, get your protein, get your veggies and drink all the water you can hold ! Nutrisystem doesn’t provide massive quantities of protein so I’m not worried about long term effects of increased protein consumption. Truth be told I wasn’t getting enough protein for years. One recommendation I found says 0.8 grams of protein per kg of body weight. I’m at about 92 grams of protein for the day so I’m under the “recommended” amount of protein for my body weight. I will say that when I added up the protein for the day I was surprised it was so high !

Weather looks to be quiet for the next 2 days so I’m happy about that. Winter doesn’t appear to be going away anytime soon. I will warn you now ... do not complain about the heat when summer finally finds us ! I can’t wait for 90 degree days !