Day 43: Peace Is A Journey

“Peace is a journey of a thousand miles and it must be taken one step at a time.” ~Lyndon B. Johnson~

Wise words from LBJ. I find the “one step at a time” approach works best for me in almost every aspect of my life. If I try to focus on too many things at once I get overwhelmed and it paralyzes me. As I’ve said before, the fire forced me to deal with a lot I hadn’t wanted to face, but I think I was able to do that only because my home was in someone else’s hands for 9 months and the house I got back was completely redone. For the first time in my adult life I felt like someone else was taking care of me. For those 9 months I only had to worry about myself – not a house that was falling down around me. I’m not sure where I’d be today if not for that fire. How many people can look at a fire as something that changed their life for the better ? I’m still pretty sure Tigger caused the fire but I also think there was some Divine Intervention. I personally think it saved my life and I feel more peaceful now than I ever have, despite the turmoil in my professional life. I believe things will work out there eventually, whether I remain in my present job, move to a new one within AT&T or move on to some other company. When I signed up for Nutrisystem I wasn’t sure I would be successful but I knew I had to give it a try. I knew in my heart I could not do it on my own – I needed a structured program. I’m only 43 days in but I feel like I’ve learned an awful lot about appropriate portions and healthier choices, so one day I will be able to manage on my own. Some people jump off the Nutrisystem program after a couple of months and prepare their own meals using the NS philosophy but I’m not really big on cooking and I get bored easily .. so it’s best for me to stick with the NS foods for at least a year. I think it will take that long for lifelong habits to change and stay changed ! I have moments where I think I could do this on my own but then I look back at my life and realize I can’t. There have been too many starts and stops and this needs to be a permanent change. My older sister is a role model – she lost the weight in her teens and has kept it off ever since. She indulges herself here and there but it’s the exception rather than the rule and she exercises regularly. My only concern with the Nutrisystem food is the fact that it’s all processed food .. but that is what I was eating anyway. The goal when I’m ready to jump off Nutrisystem is to NOT eat processed foods. Some things are unavoidable but my plan is to avoid processed as much as possible.

Breakfast today was a 3.6 ounce 150 calorie Canadian style turkey bacon, egg and cheese. Sad to say it had zero flavor – probably because it wasn’t loaded with salt and fat. I think I could make a better and just as healthy breakfast sandwich using veggie sausage. I’ll give it a try some weekend since I have it in the freezer ! I had french vanilla coffee with the sandwich. I am still amazed I was able to give up the cream and sugar in my coffee. I honestly didn’t think I could because I wasn’t willing to compromise by using non-fat creamer and an artificial sweetener. It was all or nothing so I opted for nothing and am now used to drinking it black. I never had my morning snack so I went right to lunch, which was a 7.5 ounce 180 calorie tub of white bean chicken chili. If your sinuses are clogged and you’re constipated …. have some of this. It will solve both problems. Holy Mother of God it was spicy ! I had raw carrots and a hard boiled egg with it and that put out the fire in my mouth. I ended up having my vanilla shake (155 calories) for my afternoon snack. Hopefully the spices in the chili didn’t kill all the little probiotics ! I also had a 90 calorie veggie cake in the afternoon. Got my 64 ounces of water in so whatever I drink this evening is a bonus ! Dinner tonight was a 4.4 ounce 260 calorie italian sausage and turkey pepperoni pizza. I had a bowl of brussel sprouts with it. The pizza was ok but I just don’t like their sauce because it’s sweet. I have never liked sweet tomato sauces. I think I could make a flatbread pizza with much better flavor. My evening snack was a 1.3 ounce 140 calorie stuffed apple pie. I really like the pies because they’re not super sweet. I had a cup of triple chocolate coffee with it. My calorie total for the day is 1155 of the 1400 allotted. I haven’t felt hungry so it’s not like I’m starving myself.

I have to tell you – I slept amazingly well last night and I think the exercise makes all the difference. I don’t typically have trouble sleeping but I went to sleep maybe 10 minutes after I laid down and stayed asleep until about 5. TCM had the original Father of the Bride movie on (Elizabeth Taylor and Spencer Tracy !) at 10 last night and I only saw a few minutes so I’m glad I DVR’d it ! I think having an incredibly comfy bed helps the most. I used to toss and turn all night but now I pretty much stay in the same position all night. It also helps that I don’t have all that turmoil spinning around in my brain anymore. I had a sense of dread when I heard the plow go by this morning but it turns out they were just cleaning up the streets. The morning commute was a breeze and I got to work before 7. Temps climbed up into the 40’s but they’re going to drop into the 20’s tonight and pretty much stay there. The wind has picked up and we had a dusting of snow after I got home. We may get a bit more during the night but it doesn’t sound like anything to worry about.