Day 625: Live Your Dreams
🖤 Get well soon Tommy ! #teamrivs #RageOn 🖤It's day 625 of Nutrisystem. This was the perfect quote for today because I was facing the scale this morning. Even though I had been sticking to the Nutrisystem program and exercising every day I was still worried about the number that would pop up on the display. In this case the fear was absolutely not such a big threat.
*^*^*^*^*^*^* 161.2 !! *^*^*^*^*^*^*
That's a loss of 4 pounds since I last weighed myself on September 5 !! I've lost 142.8 pounds and have 11.2 to go in order to reach my goal weight of 150. I'm excited !
During the past 625 days there were some weeks that I weighed myself multiple times because I was so intent on seeing the numbers drop. When the number went down I was elated ... when the number went up I was deflated. At some point I decided I didn't want the scale to become an obsession and I didn't want the way I felt about myself to be tied to a number on a machine. I'm to a point where I can feel the difference in my clothes. If those jeans are a little snug that's a warning. If they're a little loose that's a reminder that I'm headed in the right direction. Last week I chose not to weigh myself because I had been on vacation for a week and I'd eaten out a few times. I didn't face that fear and for me it was the right decision. Had I shown a loss I might not have worked quite so hard this week ! Motivation is a big part of losing weight and getting fit and I wanted to prove to myself that even if I didn't lose weight (or gained) one week I could put myself back on track quickly. I went into this week believing I had probably not lost any weight or that I had possibly gained. I avoided the temptation to get on the scale all week so this morning was a very pleasant surprise. Did I lose those 4 pounds this week or did I lose some of them the previous week ? I'll never know, but maybe the next time I'm on vacation I won't be so afraid of facing the scale.
Update on Tommy Rivs indicates he was vertical again ! Baby steps towards getting him up and walking ! Chemo is coming again in a couple of days and although we know that will beat him back down for a while, we also know he will fight his way back. Chemo is like a slow descent into an abyss and once you reach the bottom you have no choice but to start the climb out. Blood donors helped save my life and they're helping save Tommy's too. My biggest regret is that I can no longer donate blood. Tommy is actively engaged with planning his care and that's an indication the drug induced fog is clearing. His dad described him as "clear-eyed and preparing for next steps" today. As far as I know he is still attached to ECMO and still on a ventilator but he is stable and the settings are low. He went on ECMO when the ventilator was at max and not helping, so having the settings lowered is progress. I think we're all wishing for the day he is free of both and able to breathe comfortably on his own. Today his wife declared "he will live". That's pretty brave because the outcome is not certain. I know she wants it to be true and maybe saying it helps, who am I to judge ? The odds are against him but people beat the odds every day. He is still very sick and still has a long road ahead of him. More chemo .. a bone marrow transplant .. getting off the ventilator and ECMO. If love and grit and strength can heal then Tommy will most certainly live to run again. Rage on !
Breakfast was a 2 ounce 180 calorie cinnamon roll and a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit toasted coconut vanilla yogurt. Morning snack was a 120 calorie chocolate shake with peanut butter powder. After that I was out for the day. My lunch/afternoon snack/dinner was a veggie burger with an arugula salad and a side order of honey roasted brussel sprouts with goat cheese and bacon at Upstate Tavern in Turning Stone Casino. I absolutely devoured this meal and everything was delicious. The brussel sprouts sound decadent but there was just a couple dabs of goat cheese and a sprinkle of bacon pieces. The salad was just arugula and thinly sliced celery & radish with a simple vinaigrette dressing. I only ate half the bun with the burger so minimize my carb intake. I also had a cocktail - they called it 607 Lemonade. It was made with a craft lemon vodka from Waterman's Distillery and was quite good ! It's about 2 hours from me so it might be a road trip next summer ! My evening snack was a large Cafe Mocha and a cranberry scone at the casino. That was my treat for the week. Can't really put a number on my calories today so we'll go with 1200+. I only got about 40 ounces of water in.
This morning's weigh in motivated me to get a workout in before I went out. I started the day with 28 minutes of studio intervals with iFit trainer Betina Gozo. The intervals gradually increased in length (2 min, 3 min, 4 min, 5 min) and were separated by 2 minute recoveries. The programmed speed was 2.9 mph for the pushes and 2.3 for the recoveries but I wanted to work harder so I set the speed at 3.4 for the pushes and 3 mph for the recoveries. I want to keep the endurance gains I'm making. I'm not big on studio workouts but they're part of the Antarctica series that I'm working on so I'm suffering through it. I was too tired to workout when I got home tonight so I logged 28 minutes, 1.4 miles and 123 calories. I did do a lot of walking at the casino and Fitbit says I did over 12,000 steps today so I'm good with that.
This morning I got an email alert that the Fancy Feast Savory Centers canned cat food was back in stock at Walmart ! It's been unavailable for about 2 months and I didn't think I'd get my cats to eat anything else. Well, it turns out I needn't have worried about that. They seem to like the regular Fancy Feast seafood variety better ! That's a win-win for me because it's cheaper. The Savory Centers is almost $13 for 12 cans and the seafood stuff I'm buying now is $19 for 30 cans ! Since they seem to be happy with it I'm not going to change back.
I took a comparison photo today and it was eye opening. I remember thinking I looked pretty good a year ago but when I looked at a picture of me today vs. a picture of me on the same day a year ago I still looked "fat" back then. I was still fat a year ago ! I'll be interested to see what I think a year from now. Will I look at today's photo and see a "fat" person ? I posted the photo in a couple of group's I belong to, in hopes of inspiring others not to give up on their goals and dreams. I figure if I can do this anyone can ! Today's photo made me happy. I've talked about body image before and I've talked about not really seeing yourself as you are when you look in the mirror. These comparison photo's really illustrated that today. I was at 210 pounds a year ago and when I looked at my 210 pound self vs my 304 pound self I saw a thin person vs a fat person. I felt the same way today. I looked at my 161.2 pound self vs my 210 pound self and saw a thin person vs a fat person. This is why I have a hard time "believing" what I see in the mirror. I was still fat a year ago but I'm not sure I saw myself that way. I don't look at myself as fat today but now I wonder if what I see is reality. That's why I'll be interested to see the difference another year makes. Statistically speaking I'll be considered overweight until I hit 154 pounds. At that point I'll be at the high end of the "normal" BMI range for my height. 150 will bring me lower in the range and 145 will get me to a comfortable place in the range.
Today was a good day. The scale cooperated, I got a workout in, I got to see both of my sisters, I spent the day with my mom and had a great time at the casino. I also got my hair colored so I'm back to my normal color. I've always been blonde but my hair has darkened as I've gotten older. There is also some silver and gray sprinkled in and I'm not ready to embrace that ! I didn't win at the casino but I stayed within my budget. I ate for free and got a new ring from the jewelry store pretty much free too. It matches the dress I'm wearing to my brothers wedding and I was able to get a size 6 ! I used to wear a size 8 ring so I've dropped 2 sizes there. Mom and I talked about Red Lobster today because we're both craving a good seafood dinner, so that may be our outing next weekend !
I didn't get to the grocery store today so I'll have to do that tomorrow. I really only need fresh veggies so it'll be a quick trip. On that note it is long past time for a shower and bed !
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