Day 594: Only A Thought Away

 

                                                                                             🖤  Get well soon Tommy ! #teamrivs #RageOn 🖤

“Wherever you are, at whatever age,

 you're only a thought away from

 changing your life.” 

~ Wayne Dyer~ 

                        

It's Day 594 of Nutrisystem. A thought on December 25, 2018 started the chain of events that have led to where I am today. Seeing the pictures my mother had taken during our Christmas festivities made me want to cry. I was so huge. So fat. It was horrifying. Many times before this I had told myself I needed to do something about my weight, but I kept putting it off. What I saw in the mirror was not what I saw in those photos. I've talked about this before ... when 304 pounds are standing in front of a mirror it's easy to say you don't look "that bad". However, when those same 304 pounds sit down and spread out it is impossible to fool yourself into thinking you don't look "that bad". Let me tell you something - you DO look that bad ! 304 pounds standing up is the same as 304 pounds sitting down, you can't hide it. I don't know why it took me so long to care enough about myself to do something about my weight. Perhaps enough of the chaos in my life had finally cleared and I could begin to focus on myself again. For years I wanted to get to where I was in 1996, when I lost a fair amount of weight and got down to around 180. Problem is I never did anything to make that happen. How can you want something so bad yet not lift a finger to work for it ? I'm so happy to be at the lowest weight of my adult life now, 24 years later. If I knew the name of the medical professional who told me losing weight "at my age" would be difficult I'd send her a picture ! She has no idea how deeply those words cut. I don't blame her for my weight - that was all me - but I wish she knew how demotivating those words were. I have no doubt she was trying to help, figuring I wouldn't be able to lose any weight and she didn't want me to blame myself for it. I took those words and said "why bother" and kept eating. Again, all on me. I was fat long before I encountered her and it's not her fault I kept piling on the pounds. Those words really bothered me then and they still bother me today. I'm not sure I really understand why they bother me so much. Maybe because it felt patronizing. I think losing weight is hard at any age. Losing the weight in 1996 was not easy. I starved and I exercised. Here's something I JUST remembered ! In 1996 I bought the Richard Simmons "Deal A Meal" program ! That is how I lost the weight. You picked foods off the cards for each meal. The first exercise I did was walking in my neighborhood while listening to a Richard Simmons cassette in a Walkman .. LOL !! You walked to the pace of the music so it was not your average stroll. I'm not sure when I graduated to the treadmill. Back then I just walked for 90 minutes once a day and I didn't have quite so much weight to lose. It's so ironic that my first successful weight loss was actually due to a semi-structured program that I had completely forgotten about ! So my 1996 success can be attributed to hard work and Deal A Meal while my current success can be attributed to hard work, Nutrisystem, iFit and Total Gym. I don't really know what the "thought" was that made me hit the submit button the Nutrisystem website December 29, 2018 but I'm glad I did. It has definitely changed my life.

Update on Tommy Rivs was the best we've had during these long weeks of darkness. The chemo is working and his oxygen sats are the best they've been since he got sick. The ventilator and ECMO settings are on low and remain in place mostly for security. Tommy remains sedated in order to allow his body to continue the healing process. Being on a ventilator is not easy and combined with ECMO it's quite invasive and traumatic treatment, so the sedation allows him to rest and heal. The family hopes they can start bringing him out of it very soon. The road ahead remains uncertain but every step forward is a step in the right direction. People around the world have joined hands to support this man and his family and I'd like to think our prayers are being heard. Is this our rainbow after the storm ?

Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 160 calorie cherry cheese roll and a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit lemon meringue yogurt. Morning snack was a 120 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 3.8 ounce 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt and a chef salad. After that I was out for the day. My afternoon snack/dinner was a veggie burger, without the bun, and some french fries. I opted to forego the bun so I could enjoy the fries. Evening snack was a 1.6 ounce 130 calorie red velvet cupcake. Total calories for the day are unknown so I'll record them at 1200+. I only got 32 ounces of water in. Confession: I also had a caramel macchiato coffee and an oatmeal raisin cookie at the casino. 

I started the day with the first workout in the next iFit challenge for the month. It was a 33 minute incline run in Capri, Italy with iFit trainer Tanya Poppett. I don't run so I set the pace at 2.2 to 2.6 mph for the first 23 minute since most of it was at max incline. The last segment of the workout was an off machine tabata session but I opted to keep walking at a pace of 2.8 to 3 mph with an incline of 4%. This was my only workout today since I did not take a lunch and I was out for the day as of 2 pm. I logged 33 minutes, 1.4 miles and 222 calories. Fitbit says I did almost 14,000 steps, thanks to a few laps around the exterior of Point Place Casino with my sister !

As I mentioned I left work as of 2 pm today and headed out to spend some time with my mom and my sister and brother in law. Today was my dad's birthday and I didn't want mom sitting at home alone all day. We stopped at my dad's grave and it looked a bit bare so we picked up some silk flowers to add some color. Then we headed to Point Place Casino for some gambling and for dinner. Once I had "donated" my limit to the slots my sister and I headed outside to walk and warm up, as it was freezing in that place ! I wouldn't have been able to do this 594 days ago. At 304 pounds the only laps I was doing were from the fridge to the couch and back ! It was nice to be able to walk without pain, in heeled sandals no less ! At 304 pounds I lived in sneakers and slippers and my feet always hurt. It was also nice to be able to walk without huffing and puffing or experiencing back pain. Simple everyday things like this are so magical to me now.

On that note, it's time for a shower and bed. I enjoyed this little mid-week break and tomorrow it's back to my structure: 3 treadmill workouts, 6 Nutrisystem meals and a Total Gym session !