Day 514: The Path

 

“Sometimes the bad things that happen

 in our lives put us directly on the path

 to the best things that will ever happen

 to us.”

It's Day 514 of Nutrisystem. I can so relate to today's quote ! A whole lot of bad things preceded the current path my life is on. That's not to say the current road hasn't been without it's bumps but I'm finding it much easier to navigate them. I've said it 100 times, the fire was the turning point in my life but change is not always welcome and it takes a long time for good habits to develop. Most of the bad things in my life were a direct result of poor choices I made. It would be easy to just gather up all the blame and drop it on someone else but I did that for years. The problem with blaming someone else is you continue to make the same mistakes and in your mind it's not your fault so you didn't do anything wrong. So what is there to change if nothing was your fault ? Exactly ! I've learned that I was very good at twisting things around to avoid taking ownership of the choices I made. I continually excused myself by blaming others. The tendency to make excuses lingers today but I'm more aware of it and actively working on changing it. It's not easy ! Exercise seems to be the most problematic because I can still find 100 excuses when I slack off. I do hope I'm on the path to the best things that will ever happen to me. It feels like I am but I know that can change in a heartbeat, so I'll just keep appreciating each day as it comes.

Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 160 calorie cherry cheese roll and a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit creme brulee yogurt. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 4 ounce 230 calorie spinach & cheese pretzel melt with a chef salad. Dressing added 30 calories. Afternoon snack was a 1.3 ounce 180 calorie Jif Powers Ups chocolate peanut butter chewy granola bar. Dinner was a 4 ounce 180 calorie artichoke & spinach stuffed chicken breast with roasted veggies. Evening snack was a 2.1 ounce 130 calorie carrot cupcake. Total calories for the day are 1155 and I only got 32 ounces of water in. I could chug down another 32 now but then I'll be up half the night.

I woke up around 10 today, which sounds late but I didn't go to sleep until well after 2 am. I got up a little after 10:30 and started the day by putting clean sheets on my bed. Is there anything better than fresh sheets ? While my coffee brewed I swept up the cat litter on the laundry room floor (my cats must be part gopher !) and cleaned their boxes. I relaxed my 2nd cup of coffee rule but first I filled my water bottle, put on my exercise gear and turned on the treadmill. That cup of coffee disappeared in record time and I was out of excuses. It was time to get ON that treadmill. I finally pushed myself off the couch at 1 pm and the first workout of the day was a 28 minute hike in New Zealand with Jed Brophy and Graham McTavish. The pace was 2.8 mph most of the way and there were some brief inclines of mostly 3% or less so I just set the pace at 3 mph for the duration. As always I felt really good afterwards so I just don't know why I can't seem to stay committed to my exercise routine. I did find an interesting article about the reasons you can't stick to an exercise program and printed a copy so that I can re-read it frequently. I think part of my problem is I'm pressuring myself to exercise 3 times a day every day (4 if you count a Total Gym session). This is not sustainable and I'm allowing it to drag me down yet again. I'm going to scale my commitment back to 2 workouts a day, which could be once on the treadmill and once on the Total Gym or twice on either. That doesn't mean I'm not going to continue to strive for 3 treadmill and 1 Total Gym per day, because I am. I will do that whenever possible but I'm not putting that expectation on myself every single day. What ends up happening is on days I don't have the time for 4 workouts I fall back to the "why bother" mentality and feel defeated. I've said before that my "all or nothing" way of life has been troublesome for years and this is just another example of allowing that to get in the way. When my life was in chaos I couldn't get anything done because everywhere I looked the tasks seemed insurmountable, so I did nothing. I couldn't bring myself to just start somewhere and chip away at what needed to be done. So if I couldn't muster the energy to complete the entire task all at once I didn't do it at all. My weight had a lot to do with it because I was tired all the time, but it wasn't the only reason. There were many, so I still need to work on not letting that get in my way. Yesterday was not an "all or nothing" day, yesterday was just an "I am lazy" day ! I most definitely had the time to workout and just plain didn't want to. At 3:30 pm I pushed myself off the couch again, this time for a 41 minute hike with Jed and Graham, the last in the New Zealand series. The pace was 2.8 mph most of the way and since it was a long walk I left it at that speed. There was some brief incline here and there but with an easy pace it was no problem. I logged 69 minutes, 3.2 miles and 362 calories so I'm happy with that. I had lunch after the workout and then put a huge pan of veggies in the oven to roast. I added a couple of sliced red onions to the normal carrot, broccoli, green bean mix for some extra flavor and color. Once the veggies were done I relaxed with a cup of coffee and my afternoon snack and then hopped on the Total Gym. It was 7:30 pm by this time. I spent about 40 minutes on the TG so I'm happy with what I accomplished today. I am pleasantly tired and resisted the urge to have a cup of coffee with my evening snack. I suspect coffee late in the evening might be a part of my sleep issues. I also tend to drink most of that 64 ounces of water later in the day and evening so I'm getting up a lot once I do get to sleep. I need to work on getting through the first 32 by 1 pm and the 2nd by 6 or 7. I'll start working on that tomorrow.

On that note I'm heading for a shower and bed. Tomorrow is a work day so I need to be up early ! I truly enjoyed my vacation and am glad I didn't cancel it. Sometimes you just need a mental break and I feel refreshed and ready to get back to work !