Day 400: Finding Peace
"Self-acceptance comes from meeting
life's challenges vigorously. Don't
numb yourself to your trials and
difficulties, nor build mental walls to
exclude pain from your life. You will
find peace not by trying to escape your
problems, but by confronting them
courageously. You will find peace not
in denial but in victory."
This quote jumped out at me today because it describes exactly what I did when life got rough. I numbed myself with food and I built massive mental walls to help me cope. I also spent a lot of time trying to escape what was going wrong, instead of addressing the problems. None of that worked but as I've said on numerous occasions it's easy to look at this quote today, when life is better, and say oh yeah, you are absolutely right. Sure, maybe things would have changed if I didn't numb myself or build those walls ... but maybe it would also have made life more unbearable. We all cope in different ways and sometimes these feel-good quotes remind me not to throw out nonsense like this when life has thrown someone a curve ball. There's nothing wrong with having a meltdown and sometimes I think it's healthier than bottling it all up inside and "staying strong". I had plenty of meltdowns over the years. You get to a point where you just can't take it anymore or you just can't hold it in any more and maybe it's better to jump up and down and scream and cry until you're exhausted or ready to deal with it. Screw being brave all the time ! What I will say about this quote is this: it's absolutely good advice and it's absolutely right, but not all of us can confront life's challenges head on. I couldn't and I didn't and I'm not ashamed of that. I do better now but I think a lot of that is because I don't have so much to deal with. I'm pretty lucky to be where I am today and I am grateful for that every day.
Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 160 calorie cherry cheese roll. Power fuel was a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit tiramisu yogurt. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 4 ounce 230 calorie four cheese melt with a chef salad. Dressing added 30 calories. Afternoon snack was a 1.58 ounce 180 calorie almond, cranberry & oat bar. Dinner was a 4 ounce 180 calorie artichoke & spinach stuffed chicken breast that I served with steamed green beans. Evening snack was a 2.2 ounce 140 calorie lemon zest cake. Total calories for the day are 1175 and I got 64 ounces of water in.
Today was a work at home day so I got another Easter Island workout in with Dr. Dale Simpson during lunch. Today was almost 26 minutes at 2.5 mph and just a bit of low inclines. After work I went out to clear away the snow outside the garage and on the front steps. It's hard for me to say exactly how much snow we got because of drifting, but I'd say it was close to 18 inches. I clear it away in front of the garage because the plow can only get so close. My plow guy is coming tomorrow so I'll go out after he is done to clean up the driveway more. Call me crazy but I like being out there in the fresh air getting some extra cardio in ! Once I was done playing in the snow I got back on the treadmill for #7 of 23 in the Mount Kilimanjaro series with Jake Norton. This 36 minute workout is one I've done many times (79 now) because I used it to build endurance. Back when I first started with iFit and my treadmill I did the same workout day after day. Each time one got "easy" I would change to something more challenging. It took me a while to get past this one ! Speed was 2.7 mph for much of the workout and there were some brief inclines. I was happy when the workout was over because I was starving and pretty much running out of energy. After dinner I got on the Total Gym and spent a good half hour doing various exercises. Then I sat down to relax with a nice hot cup of coffee ! Today I logged 2.6 miles, 62 minutes and 318 calories. I'm sure the snow shoveling and Total Gym burned a few more calories but I can't really put a number on them.
I was thinking today about all that I'm able to do now that I've gotten rid of 124 pounds. At the auto expo the other night we spent most of our time on our feet and there were lots of stairs to go up and down as we progressed from room to room. It was nice to be able to go up a flight of stairs without getting out of breath or having to use the railing to pull myself up. Another shocker ... when I was putting away my shoes today I discovered they are not wide width ! I really thought I had bought wide width because I've worn wide width shoes as long as I can remember. Not needing wide width means I can walk into most any store and buy shoes. Many stores do not stock wide widths - you have to order them online - something I discovered back in 2017 while shopping for shoes to wear to my sister's wedding. I ended up getting mine at Payless back then since they still had retail stores and they had some wide widths in stock. I was also thinking how nice it was to get up the next morning without an aching back or sore feet. It's also great to be able to get out there and shovel snow without feeling like I am going to die. I'm finally embracing exercise and actually enjoying it. It's taken a long time to get to the point where I really feel good after working out.
Looks like the snow is over but there's a cold day coming behind it. Forecast high for tomorrow is 16, with a low of 9 tomorrow night ! Good thing I'm not planning on going any farther than my driveway. I'm a good kind of tired so I'm heading to bed.
Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 160 calorie cherry cheese roll. Power fuel was a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit tiramisu yogurt. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 4 ounce 230 calorie four cheese melt with a chef salad. Dressing added 30 calories. Afternoon snack was a 1.58 ounce 180 calorie almond, cranberry & oat bar. Dinner was a 4 ounce 180 calorie artichoke & spinach stuffed chicken breast that I served with steamed green beans. Evening snack was a 2.2 ounce 140 calorie lemon zest cake. Total calories for the day are 1175 and I got 64 ounces of water in.
Today was a work at home day so I got another Easter Island workout in with Dr. Dale Simpson during lunch. Today was almost 26 minutes at 2.5 mph and just a bit of low inclines. After work I went out to clear away the snow outside the garage and on the front steps. It's hard for me to say exactly how much snow we got because of drifting, but I'd say it was close to 18 inches. I clear it away in front of the garage because the plow can only get so close. My plow guy is coming tomorrow so I'll go out after he is done to clean up the driveway more. Call me crazy but I like being out there in the fresh air getting some extra cardio in ! Once I was done playing in the snow I got back on the treadmill for #7 of 23 in the Mount Kilimanjaro series with Jake Norton. This 36 minute workout is one I've done many times (79 now) because I used it to build endurance. Back when I first started with iFit and my treadmill I did the same workout day after day. Each time one got "easy" I would change to something more challenging. It took me a while to get past this one ! Speed was 2.7 mph for much of the workout and there were some brief inclines. I was happy when the workout was over because I was starving and pretty much running out of energy. After dinner I got on the Total Gym and spent a good half hour doing various exercises. Then I sat down to relax with a nice hot cup of coffee ! Today I logged 2.6 miles, 62 minutes and 318 calories. I'm sure the snow shoveling and Total Gym burned a few more calories but I can't really put a number on them.
I was thinking today about all that I'm able to do now that I've gotten rid of 124 pounds. At the auto expo the other night we spent most of our time on our feet and there were lots of stairs to go up and down as we progressed from room to room. It was nice to be able to go up a flight of stairs without getting out of breath or having to use the railing to pull myself up. Another shocker ... when I was putting away my shoes today I discovered they are not wide width ! I really thought I had bought wide width because I've worn wide width shoes as long as I can remember. Not needing wide width means I can walk into most any store and buy shoes. Many stores do not stock wide widths - you have to order them online - something I discovered back in 2017 while shopping for shoes to wear to my sister's wedding. I ended up getting mine at Payless back then since they still had retail stores and they had some wide widths in stock. I was also thinking how nice it was to get up the next morning without an aching back or sore feet. It's also great to be able to get out there and shovel snow without feeling like I am going to die. I'm finally embracing exercise and actually enjoying it. It's taken a long time to get to the point where I really feel good after working out.
Looks like the snow is over but there's a cold day coming behind it. Forecast high for tomorrow is 16, with a low of 9 tomorrow night ! Good thing I'm not planning on going any farther than my driveway. I'm a good kind of tired so I'm heading to bed.
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