Day 390: Keep Going

"Shout out to everyone who's trying to get their life together ! Working on yourself is the hardest part of life. Keep going. It gets easier !"

I know I'm not the only person spending their time changing their life right now so it felt appropriate to acknowledge that. I'm about 80% through my journey to my goal weight and the last 20% might be the hardest, so I have to motivate myself every day to keep the momentum going. This is a dangerous time for me because I'm feeling a little too comfortable with where I am. I didn't document it at the time but over the past couple of weeks I've found myself having a second Nutrisystem snack in the evening. This only happened 2 or 3 times and it's not the end of the world, but it reminded me just how easily this journey could start going in the wrong direction. A one ounce bag of Nutrisystem popcorn won't impact my weight but the thought process behind having that 2nd snack could if I allow it to take over. It really is hard to say no, especially to yourself ! Especially when you're sitting here alone knowing that no one will know, or even care. Part of working on myself is building boundaries, something I've never really had. I need to have boundaries for myself and boundaries for those outside influences I interact with and that's not easy. Yes, no one but me knew about that 2nd snack but that didn't make it okay. A lot of things happened in my life that no one knew about and allowing that to go on did a lot of damage. The lack of boundaries did a lot of damage. For years I ate and ate and ate in the privacy of my home and no one really knew what I was eating. I had chips, cookies and candy stashed in my bedroom at all times and there was usually sugary drinks and ice cream in the freezer. I would get anxious if the supply of anything was getting low ! Once I was alone and pretty much living in my living room I had all that stuff stashed around the sofa so I didn't have to get up. I was headed towards an episode of My 600 Pound Life ! While I was living in a rental after the fire I tried eating healthier but chicken tenders and ranch dressing were a constant, as was candy. In 2017, while going to physical therapy for my broken wrist I discovered KFC's "famous bowls". That guilty pleasure followed me home in 2018 and then I discovered pints of Haagen Dazs ! It was nothing for me to have KFC for dinner and then consume an entire pint of ice cream before bed. Candy and cookies followed me home too. So did chips with a new companion, dip ! It literally makes me sick when I think about what I was eating. My point is there were no boundaries when it came to food. So part of working on myself is building those boundaries, as I feel that will help me with long term success. A healthy relationship with food means having boundaries.

Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 180 calorie cinnamon roll with hazelnut coffee. Power fuel was a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit caramel apple pie yogurt. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Afternoon snack was 1/2 of an almond, cranberry & oat granola bar (90 calories) and 1 ounce of cheese (110 calories). Lunch was a 3.8 ounce 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt with a chef salad. Dressing added 30 calories. Dinner was a 4 ounce 180 calorie artichoke & spinach stuffed chicken breast and steamed green beans. Evening snack was a 1.8 ounce 140 calorie s'mores pie with cinnamon roll coffee. Total calories for the day are 1185 and I got 64 ounces of water in.

Working out during lunch was a bust today. I should have known I was doomed when turning on the treadmill tripped the breaker. Once I reset that I thought I was good to go .. until I realized the interval workout I had chosen started with 4 intervals at 3.2 mph but then jumped up to 4 mph, then 4.8 mph - much too fast for me ! I ended the workout after about 5 minutes and by then it was 12:30 and too late to start another. After work I completed an interval workout in India with Jonnie Gale. This workout had 8 intervals of 1 minute at 3.2 mph with 1 minute recoveries at 2.7 mph. It also had a 5 minute stretch at max incline but the intervals dropped down to 2.8 & 2.3 mph. It was a nice 23 minute workout. Stats for today are not pretty - 1.4 miles, 30 minutes, 168 calories. I was starving after my workout so I had dinner and then hopped on the Total Gym. I thought about taking the night off but since I blew my lunchtime workout I decided that wasn't an option. I spent about 30 minutes doing arm pulls, squats and a couple of other moves. Right now I'm focused on building some strength in my arms because so many of the exercises use the arms. I'm not experiencing any muscle soreness or stiffness and I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing !

Tomorrow is an office day so I'll be heading for bed early. Weather looks to be quiet the remainder of the week so I'm happy about that.