Day 216: Keep Going

"Sometimes the strength within you is not a big fiery flame for all to see, it is just a tiny spark that 
whispers ever so softly 'You got this. Keep going'."

I hear the sentiment "you got this" often in the Nutrisystem group I belong to on Facebook. There are so many people struggling with their weight and many reach out for extra strength and encouragement from the group members. For so many years I felt like I didn't have any inner strength and there were no tiny sparks to be had. I felt cold and dead inside. So many people struggle to hold on and for some of us food becomes our coping mechanism. Many join Nutrisystem hoping for a miracle and when it doesn't happen they sink even deeper into despair. They don't have that spark. They don't have the inner strength to break the cycle. As it turns out I did have that strength, otherwise I wouldn't have survived, but the spark was so tiny I didn't know it was there. Something happened somewhere along the way to fan that little spark into a flame I could feel. Perhaps it was Alex's passing, perhaps it was the fire, perhaps it was just time or maybe it was those Christmas photos. They certainly shattered my illusion of happiness. Whatever it was, I was one of the lucky ones. Even when I'm a little down about my progress that spark is there burning brightly, urging me to go on. So I do. I'm pretty much over the fact that I "only" lost a pound last week. I can only control what happens this week, so that is where my focus needs to be. I discovered that the strength has always been there. It's gotten me through these past 216 days. I feel better than I have in a long, long time. I no longer crave sugar, I don't have blood sugar swings and I no longer feel bloated at night. I don't get out of breath at the slightest exertion. My body doesn't ache. I also sleep better. It's really been a huge win for me. 

Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 160 calorie cherry cheese roll with caramel vanilla cream coffee. Second cup was triple chocolate. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 4 ounce 230 calorie meatball parmesan melt with raw carrots. Afternoon snack was a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Great Value Toasted Coconut yogurt and a 0.65 ounce 100 calorie bag of Skinny Pop popcorn. This left 475 calories for dinner and an evening snack. Dinner was a 7.5 ounce 220 calorie chicken fettuccine alfredo. I added the rest of the riced cauliflower to it and I also had a chef salad with hot banana peppers and Kraft Fat Free Zesty Italian dressing (30 calories). I really enjoyed my dinner ! Evening snack was another 1.8 ounce 150 calorie chocolate cupcake. I have a freezer full of them .. lol ! Total calories for the day are 1125 and I got 64 ounces of water in. 

It was mostly cloudy today and we had some afternoon rain showers. Despite that it was relatively warm out. About 27 minutes into my workout I was pretty overheated and really wanted to stop, but I didn't. I was chilled when I started the workout so I had my fan on low. I'm going to look into buying a fan with a remote so that I can adjust the speed as needed. I didn't add any ice to my water, so it wasn't very cold and that didn't help either. Lesson learned !

It's about time for a warm shower and my comfy bed. I am tired !