Day 212: Never Get Discouraged

"You are only as strong as you allow yourself to be, never get discouraged, never give up. Consistency and dedication is the key to success."

When you're trying to lose a great deal of weight it's hard not to be impatient and it's hard not to get discouraged. I knew when I started Nutrisystem it was going to be a long process. I told myself 18-24 months. The program promised 1-2 pounds a week, on average. So I started with what felt like realistic expectations. Of course I looked at the high end and thought "hmm, 2 pounds a week is 104 pounds in a year". That seemed reasonable and doable ! But then the weight starts coming off, and you get so wrapped up in it that you forget what you said in the beginning. So you start raising your expectations based on what the scale says and you start thinking maybe it won't take quite so long. This is where you run the risk of becoming discouraged and today I'm there. The scale is only showing a 1 pound loss this week and I have to say I'm a little disappointed in that. Now I'm wondering if I read the scale wrong last week, but then I remember that I checked the scale twice last week because I didn't believe the number. Then I think about the dinner I had last Saturday night. It wasn't that many calories but perhaps there was more fat and therefore more calories in it than I realized. Then I think about the beer I had last night. Then I think about the fact that I didn't work out Tuesday night. All these things run through my mind because I "only" lost 1 pound. Am I eating too much ? I don't think so. Then I wonder if maybe I'm not eating enough. My plan recommends 1200 calories per day and I've been actively trying to stay at 1100 or less, while burning off some of those calories with exercise. So now I wonder if I need to focus on getting all 1200 calories every day. But then I think about consistency and the fact that I'm giving the scale a whole lot of power. So then I rein in my runaway mind. Rather than wring my hands over it I am going to continue doing what I've been doing. Looking at the history of my weight loss, there have been plenty of weeks with less than stellar numbers and they often follow a week with a great loss. I had a great loss last week and I lost a pound this week, so I really shouldn't be discouraged. I've lost 83.6 pounds !! I knew it was going to get harder but I'm not ready to throw in the towel. I'm not giving up. If anything I am more motivated. Today I was looking at home gyms, because I think it's about time to start thinking seriously about doing some strength training. My muscles are pretty weak or non-existent and I have a lot of excess flesh to deal with. My plan is to order and have it delivered the first week of September, since I'll be on vacation and will have the time to put it together. I will never have the tight toned body of a 20 year old but this middle aged body has lots of room for improvement. I stretched this morning and realized I could actually feel the outline of my rib cage, so there is hope !

Breakfast was a 4.4 ounce 180 calorie turkey sausage and egg muffin with cinnamon roll coffee. Second cup was butter toffee. These are my two new favorite coffees ! I was "off plan" for the rest of the day but I tried my best to eat sensibly. I had an egg white omelet with peppers, onions & ham with whole wheat toast. This was basically my morning snack and lunch. Dinner was 1/2 of a bacon cheeseburger and a handful of fries. I discarded about 1/3 of the bun. This was my afternoon snack and dinner. Evening snack was a 3.5 ounce 130 calorie ice cream sandwich. I'm not good at estimating calories when I eat out, so I'm going to go with 1200 calories for today. I might be over, I might be under and quite honestly, once you've eaten the food the calories are pretty moot. I did not drink a lot of water today so I'm working on a 32 ounce bottle right now.

Although I intended to "luxuriate in bed" this morning I was awake around 7:25 and up before 8. I used to be able to lay in bed for hours, probably because even though I was awake I was exhausted and the thought of dragging myself out of bed wasn't a pleasant one. It's nice to be able to hop out of bed and then make the bed, something I never used to do. 

Instead of sitting around the house feeling sorry for myself I called my mom and headed out for a Walmart trip. I forgot to make my morning shake and take it with me so we went to the local diner for a late breakfast. This was the first time I ever had an egg white omelet and it was delicious - so light and fluffy and stuffed with fresh peppers and onions and a bit of lean ham. After shopping we went to Point Place Casino for a couple hours. We shared a burger & fries there for dinner and had a nice day together. I didn't hear about the mass shooting in El Paso, TX until I got home this evening. I sat on the couch in my exercise gear for well over an hour reading about it. Do you ever think about these sorts of things when you walk into a place like Walmart ? I know I never do. By the time I was able to get myself off the couch it was nearly 10 pm and I was tired. I swapped my exercise gear for pajamas. I'm so sad for all those souls who went shopping today and were gunned down. Mom and I browsed around Walmart for quite a while and I didn't really pay any attention to anyone around us. I don't know that I'll be that carefree the next time I go shopping. Isn't it sad that we have to think about things like this ? You can't hide from the world in your house and I hate that I have to think about these kinds of things every time I go out into the world.

So my day started off badly and ended badly, so I'm glad I enjoyed it with my mom. I will be out with her again tomorrow as she has to go to Point Place to pick up a free gift she reserved. We don't plan on staying long but we'll probably eat there since they have roast turkey dinner on Sundays. I'm going to try and leave early so I can get my oil changed and maybe a car wash first. I got gas tonight so at least that is taken care of.

I'm not discouraged and I'm not going to give up on Nutrisystem or myself. I'm also not going to beat myself up for anything I ate today because it was all within the plan guidelines. I'm also not going to stress over the fact that I did not exercise. I enjoy doing things on the weekend during the summer because I spend a lot of winter weekends at home. I get tired sometimes too. So tomorrow is another day. I will refocus and get ready to hit the ground running on Monday morning.