Day 104: Faith Is Not A Feeling

“Faith is not something you just have; it is something you constantly have to work toward. Faith is not a feeling; it’s a decision you have to make every day.” ~Al Carraway~

I’d never heard of Al Carraway before today but I came across a blog post of hers (yes, hers) and it gave me such inspiration. Read it here if you have the time.

Deciding to finally address my weight and start the Nutrisystem journey was a big step. Deciding to share it publicly was another big step. Two big decisions made as 2018 came to a close. Two big decisions that I do not regret. Until that first weigh in I wasn’t sure I’d be successful and it was scary. I can’t say I had faith in my decisions that first week. Fear of failure loomed large ! Getting past that first week and being successful helped build confidence that I had done the right thing and could be successful. It took more than that first week to change that “could” to a “would”. Today I have faith in my decision. Today I have faith in my ability to succeed. Today I have faith in me. So far I haven’t been discouraged with the program itself. I did have some ups and downs because I was sick so much this past winter but I can’t blame that on Nutrisystem. Hopefully getting back to taking my vitamins will help keep me healthy ! Next winter I really need to boost my Vitamin C intake early on and see if that helps. A gallon of hand sanitizer might be in order as well ! I know there will be ups and downs along the way and they may shake my faith but they won’t stop me.

Last night I had to move a 38 pound case of cat litter and I realized it weighed less than my total weight loss. It was a sobering realization of how hard it has likely been for my body to carry all of this excess weight for so many years. The human body is pretty darn amazing when you think about it ! That case of cat litter was heavy and I have a couple more cases worth to get rid of !! Putting weight loss in that perspective gives me an added incentive to continue this journey and work even harder to get the weight off. Reducing my calories to 1200 hasn’t impacted my ability to exercise and I don’t feel like I’m starving, so I guess I’m doing something right ! I bought a new pair of jeans on Saturday that are 2 sizes smaller than what I am currently wearing. I washed them but I haven’t worn them yet. The store only had the one pair so I need to go online and buy a few more since my jeans are getting pretty baggy. The next big step will be discarding the clothes I’ve outgrown rather than keeping them “in case I grow back into them”. I’m not going to grow back into these things ! Very soon I will be in clothing sizes that start with a 1 … so I’m leaving anything that starts with a 2 in the dust .. forever ! I have a lot of tops I’ve bought in the past year and I’m sad to leave some of them behind because I really like them. Around Christmas I bought some that were a little snug so I’ll be able to keep those around a little longer !

Breakfast was another 2.1 ounce 160 calorie cherry cheese roll with French vanilla coffee. My 2nd cup was toasted coconut. My breakfast power fuel was an 80 calorie Sargento colby jack cheese stick. My stomach was growling around 9:30 so that tided me over until snack time. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder, which I ended up having after lunch ! Lunch was a 4 ounce 220 calorie chicken fajita melt with raw carrots. Afternoon snack was a 180 calorie Sargento Balanced Breaks. After all this I still had 403 calories to spend on dinner and an evening snack, which was plenty ! Dinner was a 7.5 ounce 220 calorie chicken fettucine alfredo. I mixed in about a cup of riced broccoli and added some romano cheese. Evening snack was another 1.8 ounce 150 calorie chocolate cupcake. I really wanted a 190 calorie brownie sundae but I was 7 calories short ! My calories for the day are at 1167 and I got all 64 ounces of water in today !

Took another stroll through the Atlas Mountains with iFit tonight. I had to detour and stop for gas tonight so I didn’t have much time between eating and exercise and it seemed like the workout was a bit harder on a full stomach. Although I had to push myself a little more than usual I made it through the whole 32 minutes and despite really wanting to hold onto the rails, I didn’t. I also really wanted to just stay on the couch but I didn’t do that either .. lol !!

It was a chilly 29 degrees when I got up today ! If I didn’t know it was going to head up into the 60’s (70’s Friday!) and stay there I’d have been a little more upset about that low ! We had blue skies and sunshine most of the day so it was a nice day overall.

I’m a good kind of tired tonight and I’m glad we’re halfway through the week ! Time for a hot shower and a warm cozy bed !