The Journey Back: Day 11

 

“I am not scared I tell myself, but 

the fear of starting over again has

 consumed me deeper than I have 

ever wanted to admit."

This is another spot on quote ! I was definitely terrified of starting over, mostly because I felt like it was admitting failure. It was admitting I had done exactly what I'd said I would never do. When I started Nutrisystem my intention was to work hard, lose the weight and keep it off - for good. Well, as is often the case, I continue to set unrealistic goals and then feel like a failure when I'm either unable to reach them or unable to sustain them. In the past this is where I'd get off the train and give up. But this is a good news post. I no longer give up when things don't go according to plan. For me, that's a big change. So here I am working my way back instead of giving up. I was thinking today about some of the things I did while I was acting like I didn't have a weight problem. I actually visited KFC between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'll give you the backstory on that one. I went to see the movie "Spencer" at Movie Tavern and I ordered a chicken sandwich that was supposed to be "nashville hot and spicy". Well - there was nothing spicy about it and it was a huge disappointment. That got me thinking about the nashville chicken tenders at KFC, which had been one of my favorite items. I ended up going on a bit of a bender one day. I grocery shopped and left Wegmans with 2 slices of pepperoni pizza THEN I went to KFC and bought those spicy chicken tenders AND one of their "famous bowls" consisting of mashed potatoes smothered in gravy, corn, chicken tenders and cheese. I ate the pizza that day and the KFC the following day. Here's the thing ... I didn't enjoy the KFC. It wasn't as good as it had been since I'd last had it over 3 years ago ! So I took in all those calories just because I was disappointed with my Movie Tavern meal. It makes no sense but that is just one example of a flawed relationship with food. I guess the only good thing is I feel like I'm "cured" of my KFC addiction ! The Wegmans pizza .. well, I am not cured of those slices of Heaven so I tend to stay out of that part of the store ! On a side note, I didn't enjoy the movie "Spencer". Kristen Stewart did an amazing job but the movie made Princess Diana seem like a nut case and I felt it was pretty disrespectful to her memory and all of the good things she did in her short life. That's just my 2 cents on the subject. So yeah, starting this journey over was not easy. I'd gotten somewhat lazy and I'm still struggling with that. The demands of work have slowed down so I'm not having to work crazy long hours anymore and my days are starting to feel more normal. I no longer work through lunch and most nights I log off by 6 pm at the latest. Having the heating issue resolved (fingers crossed) is another weight off my shoulders and today's goal is a complete return to normal on Monday January 10. I'll be taking down all my Christmas decor Sunday so the Total Gym will be back in place and I'll be logging off work at 5 pm every night. i will still say that I don't regret giving my all to my job for a few months. I've had this job for almost 37 years and I'm looking forward to keeping it for a few more ! I'm actually enjoying the challenges and looking forward to even more new things in 2022 ! 

Today is Day 1099 of Nutrisystem. 167 days since I reached my goal weight. I maintained it for a while but as you know I've gained some weight and I'm working to get it back off and it's Day 11 of that effort. I'm pleased with the progress I'm making and have no doubt I'll settle back in at my goal weight soon.

Breakfast was 160 calorie waffles with sugar free syrup and an 80 calorie yogurt. Morning snack was a 120 calorie chocolate shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt with a chef salad. Afternoon snack was 80 calorie cottage cheese and 90 calorie oatmeal cookies. Dinner was 260 calorie roasted turkey medallions with roasted veggies. Evening snack was 140 calorie lemon zest cake. Total calories for the day are 1150 and I got 80 ounces of water in.

I spent about 62 minutes on the treadmill today. iFit trainer Chris Clark tried to kill me with a workout full of max incline in Italy but I survived ! Fitbit says I did over 11,400 steps today so it was a good day !

My heating system has been operating perfectly for over 24 hours now ! I am cautiously optimistic that the problem has been solved, but I must confess I peeked into the basement a few times today to make sure all was well ! I made a cover for the outdoor temperature sensor out of a large hard plastic jar lid and I'll be nailing that into place tomorrow or over the weekend. It will shield the sensor from the sun without restricting air flow around it.

This week has just flown by ! I can't believe tomorrow is Friday already ! We have snow in the forecast so I'm glad I don't have to go out. Saturday looks to be a nice day so you know where I'll be ! On that note it's about time for a hot shower and some tv in my warm bed !