Day 689: Courage
Today is day 689 of Nutrisystem. I have stood at many crossroads during the past 689 days and today I faced yet another. I got up well rested and with much hope for a good weigh in ... only to see a 0.2 pound loss for the week. Yep, I weighed in at 158.6 and that was somewhat disappointing. No - let me be honest, that was massively disappointing. I worked hard all week and expected more. Don't we always expect more when we try hard ? That's been a recurring theme in my life. I always expected more than I got and it led to so much disappointment and heartache. That's why I pretty much gave up and stopped expecting anything. I don't want to go back to that state of mind because when you stop expecting more or better for yourself, you also stop trying. I'm not willing to stop trying. I'm not willing to stop expecting more and better for myself. Not now. Not today. I've lost 145.4 pounds. I only have 8.6 pounds to go. I might have stood there at the scale for a minute. Defeated. Shoulders drooping. Head hanging. Wondering why this is so hard. Wondering why I bother. I looked in the mirror and answered that question. It's hard because you want it so bad. You bother because for the first time in your life you're determined to finish what you started. For a minute I wondered if I should have stuck with my original goal of 160, because I've already surpassed that and I'd be "done". But that would be taking the easy way out. It would feel like admitting defeat and I'm not ready to do that. I WILL reach my goal. Maybe not today, maybe not next week or even next month. It might take me until next year, but I WILL get there. Today I took that defeat and I didn't lose heart.
There was nothing new with Tommy Rivs today and many people in the iFit group have the same bad feeling I have. Many others have noticed the difference in the updates, along with the relative silence from most of his family. We've all been hoping and praying for a miracle but also bracing for the worst. Will I be surprised if he doesn't make it ? No, honestly I won't. The odds are long and not in his favor but from day 1 we've prayed he would be the one to beat them. I'm not giving up, because I know he won't give up. Will I be devastated if he doesn't make it ? Absolutely. Even though I don't know him personally I spent a lot of time walking the hills of Morocco with him in the early days of my iFit journey. He has a special place in my heart so I will continue to pray for that miracle. Rage on Tommy !
Breakfast was a 2.1 ounce 160 calorie cherry cheese roll and a 5.3 ounce 80 calorie Light & Fit tiramisu yogurt. Morning snack was a 120 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 3.8 ounce 220 calorie pepperoni pizza melt with a chef salad. Afternoon snack was a 1.24 ounce 190 calorie Nature Valley Roasted Nut Crunch bar. Dinner was a 9 ounce 250 calorie chicken enchilada with some freshly roasted veggies. Evening snack was a new item, a 1.4 ounce 170 calorie peanut butter chocolaty square. It was sort of like a dense chewy granola bar with a peanut butter flavored coating. I didn't particularly care for it so I won't order any more. When Nutrisystem comes out with new items I usually order 1 just to try it. Total calories for the day are 1190 and I got 80 ounces of water in.
I slept in today ... it was 11 am when I woke up and it was close to 11:30 by the time I made my way downstairs. I was surprised my cats hadn't visited me looking for their long overdue breakfast. Maybe they did and I didn't hear them ! Needless to say, both were waiting expectantly ! After breakfast and 1.5 leisurely cups of coffee I hit the treadmill at about 1 pm for 41 minutes in New Zealand with iFit trainer Zac Marion. The beautiful scenery in these long workouts really helps the time go by and Zac tells you a lot about New Zealand, so it's a learning experience as well. Before I got on the treadmill I was feeling lazy and sluggish and wasn't sure I could go 41 minutes, but once I got moving that feeling went away and I powered through it. I finished my 2nd cup of coffee afterwards and also had my "morning" shake. I was still hungry after the shake so I had some chef salad. Then I threw a pan of veggies in the oven to roast and sat down with a 3rd cup of coffee. Once the veggies were done it was time to hit the treadmill again for another 35 minutes in New Zealand. Once that was done it was 4:30 and time for a late lunch. After lunch I spent some reducing the people and pages I follow on Facebook and Instagram. I spend less and less time on social media so I would rather see what's going on with people and places that actually mean something to me. My news feed is much more pleasant now. I also went through my friends list on Facebook and removed about 40 people. Many pages had been deactivated and some gaming acquaintances had passed away. After I fed my cats their dinner it was time to finish off the iFit day. I thought 22 minutes in Bora Bora with iFit trainer Stacie Clark was going to be "easy" but it was not. I got through it but I was a little winded and a little light headed at the end. That only lasted a few seconds and I was fine through the cool down. I logged 98 minutes, 5.5 miles and 664 calories. After dinner I put in the usual 45 minutes on the Total Gym. It sounds like a lot but I actually find the Total Gym to be very relaxing. That being said, I was happy to "call it a day" when I was done ! Although it was almost 9 pm I didn't get up until 11 so it wasn't really that late.
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