Day 164: Celebrating Dad's

"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone can give another person. He believed in me."          ~Jim Valvano~

A quote about dad's taken from Jim Valvano is appropriate today, considering cancer took both my dad and Jimmy V. If you have the time, listen to his ESPY speech here. Every time I hear it I am more inspired than ever to never give up. My dad has been gone for over 7 years now (26 years for Jimmy V) but I can still see dad's smile and hear his laugh. The strength and work ethic I have came from him. My dad worked hard his entire life to provide for our family. We may not have had much but I never felt deprived. I never heard him complain. He always had a smile on his face. I can remember him getting up to go to work when his back was in such bad shape he couldn't stand up straight and he could barely walk. I can remember him coming home limping from a broken foot and insisting he was fine. He was the epitome of strength. I don't know if I ever told him I loved him, so I hope he knew I did. The one time in my life I needed help and actually asked for it, he was there for me. That is something I will never forget. I hope that when he got to Heaven he was well rewarded for the life he lived. Happy Father's Day Dad ! I love you and I miss you every day.

I never had any deep conversations with my dad but I think he was proud of the woman I turned out to be. I caused him a lot of heartbreak during the years I was with Alex, because I went for long periods without having any contact with my family. They tried to warn me about him but I wouldn't listen. I regret all the lost opportunity to spend time with my family and I'm so grateful to still have my mom. I treasure every moment spent with her. I caused her plenty of heartbreak too but I think she is proud of who I am today. We may not always agree but we're definitely in a better place today ! She misses my dad every day and this would have been their 60th year of marriage !

I had a restless night because of a bad dream. Every now and then I have really vivid dreams and when I wake up it takes a minute to realize it wasn't real. Back in the early 80's I lived with an aunt & uncle while I was going to nursing school. I was back in their house sitting in the kitchen and realized the kitchen floor was sagging badly and the ceiling was bulging and about to cave in. There was water in the depression on the floor and it was raining outside. It was the middle of the night and I remember thinking I was going to have to call Paul Davis again and I was worrying about what it was going to cost ! I walked over to where the ceiling was sagging and dragged a garbage can over and punctured the ceiling. There was no water - with a puff of dust it opened up to an old cement block chimney type structure. At that point I woke up. Once I oriented myself and realized it was a dream I was able to go back to sleep. I'm thinking maybe it was raining outside when this dream occurred but I have no idea why I was back at my aunt & uncle's house .. lol ! Too weird !

On a brighter note, I weighed myself this morning and I lost 1.2 pounds this week. Total loss to date is 67.4 pounds ! That 70 pound Nutrisystem bear will be in my hands very soon ! 


Considering last Saturday's indulgence I wasn't expecting much and I'm ok with losing something. I wasn't too worried about gaining weight because I've read it takes about 3500 calories to gain a pound. I haven't had anywhere near that amount of calories in one day since I started Nutrisystem. 

Breakfast today was a 2.1 ounce 180 calorie cinnamon roll with caramel vanilla cream coffee. When I got my second cup of coffee (toasted marshmallow mocha) I also had a 70 calorie spinach egg white frittata with a wedge of Laughing Cow cheese (30 calories). I've noticed that I have to fight hunger more on the weekend when I'm home all day so I opted to have my breakfast Power Fuel today. During the week I usually skip it to save a few calories. Morning snack was a 155 calorie vanilla shake with peanut butter powder. Lunch was a 4 ounce 220 calorie thai style chicken melt with a large chef salad dressed with Skinny Girl Roasted Garlic dressing (15 calorie in 2 tablespoons). I didn't have an afternoon snack as I was super full from my lunch. Dinner was a 4.7 ounce 290 calorie meatloaf sandwich with barbecue sauce. I had a bowl of roasted veggies with it. Evening snack was a 3.5 ounce 130 calorie ice cream sandwich. Calories for the day are 1066. Salad dressing and the bit of oil on the veggies probably puts me just over 1100. 

I was thinking about my dad this morning and all the blessings that have come into my life in the past couple of years. I think maybe Dad sent some of them to help me out when he saw me struggling. My dad was not religious but he was a good man and I just know he is in Heaven with the family that went before and after him. I've said before that I live in the present so I don't dwell on what I've lost. I focus on what is here in front of me but I never forget those who are no longer with me. Losing weight has been life changing already. It's amazing how good such a simple achievement can make you feel. It does help to hear positive words from those around me. Friday a colleague commented how good I look. This was from someone who rarely speaks to me and is pretty prickly much of the time ! So that acknowledgement was a big deal to me. I don't let these things go to my head and I only mention it because I want you to know that even the tiniest, most grudging word of encouragement can grow into something big. It could be the one thing that keeps someone on track if they're having a bad day. Many women are emotional eaters and I was no exception. I haven't resorted to food over the past 164 days but maybe that's because I am happier with myself. Shedding a lot of the baggage I was carrying around (along with the pounds!) makes it easier to find the strength to manage any little crisis that comes along. Food is no longer needed for comfort.

Today's weather was gray skies, rain and general dreariness all around. I call that a great day for laundry and cleaning and I'm glad I got out yesterday to enjoy the sunshine ! Once I got the laundry started I moved to the kitchen to take care of the produce I bought yesterday. I made a huge sheet pan of veggies and roasted them in the oven. Carrots, brussel sprouts, green beans, onions and orange, yellow and red peppers drizzled with olive oil, the last of a couple bottles of italian salad dressing and salt free seasoning. The oil adds some calories but these veggies will last me all week, so I don't worry about it. I also cleaned the radishes I bought (3 bunches), froze the rest of the green beans and bagged carrots for lunch this week. The last task was re-bagging the remaining carrots. Once all that was done I emptied the wastepaper baskets throughout the house and both garbage cans (kitchen and laundry room). For once my garbage is all ready to put out tomorrow night ! Not a big accomplishment for most people, but I always leave this task for Monday night, which is stupid because I am tired on Monday nights and I have limited free time during the week. Going forward I'm going to make sure I always do this on Sunday. In between my morning snack and lunch I also got the first workout of the day in. This was a pretty productive day for me !! I also portioned out yogurt for my afternoon snack this week so everything I need is grab and go ready ! With veggies already prepared dinner will be easy too !

All in all I've had a wonderful relaxing weekend. Next up is the usual shower and my comfy bed.